Remember Me: Here lies my secrets,

I'm not angry, I'm sad that I make too much effort. No one's to blame except me.

2012-01-12T10:26:00.001+08:00

So, I met this girl.

2012-01-08T20:52:00.002+08:00

I like her.

I really do.

What now?

What do I do?

All I know is right now, I want to be with her.

I know it might upset my lifestyle and social group.

But Im going to go with my guts.

There are too many bad people, too little good souls

2012-01-05T15:24:00.001+08:00

Whats my value?

2011-12-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

Some nights like this, I wonder whats my values.
Did I make the right choices?
Something is misplaced in this aching heart of mine and I cant put a finger on it.
Is it guilt?
Is it depression?
Is it fear?

Something is questioning my worth.
I am blessed.
I remind myself.
I am blessed.
Because I am blessed, I am worth.

Dear N

2011-12-10T21:03:00.002+08:00

Telah kucuba meminta kasihmu
Biar menjadi ikatan abadi
Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita
Mungkin takdir yang meminta
Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita
Mungkin takdir yang meminta

Bermusim kita bersama
Menyemai ikatan cinta
Tak mungkin kasihku hilang
Kukunci hati untukmu

Ku genggam kenangan indah
Simpanlah senda gurauan
Andainya kau kerinduan
Itulah jadi penanwar

Sungguh ku terharu dan pilu
Kasih kusemai kau abaikan

Putusnya ikatan cinta
Mungkin tiada jodoh kita

Menangis hati ini
Ku juga bersimpati
Hancurnya harapanku
Maafkan sayang

Kasihmu yang berubah
Aku pun tak menyangka
Itulah alasanmu, pergilah sayang

Biar rindu di kejauhan
Menemani hati yang gelisah
Semoga bertemu jua kebahagiaan

Telah kucuba meminta kasihmu
Biar menjadi ikatan abadi
Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita
Mungkin takdir yang meminta

Namun apa daya terlerai janji kita
Mungkin takdir yang menimpa

Dear N,
Hows your exams doing?

The last time I heard, you were going for your final presentation.

They say the place youre in is lovely this time year.

I'm doing well here I guess.

Some times I wonder what happened if we ever met personally.

Maybe in a parallel world, we'd be together.

Who knows?

You've always kept the faith alive.

I'll never forget that.

Kinda sucks we never get to talk.

We have nothing to talk about anymore I guess.

Hows it like there?

Have you met anyone?

Hopes he treats you well, I never could.

Trying to be the best at what I do is tiring.

And it's getting lonely trying to move up.

You'd always give me the best advice,

What would you say if I told you I wanted to give up so much?

It's getting scary.

Help me.

Because I need you more than ever now.

But the past can never return right?

Things can never be the same.

I understand that.

So I'll find a way.

Rest well N.

2011-12-07T19:57:00.001+08:00

You say good morning, and good evening

The day is done, and you've come to find

The words are fleeting, I hear your quiet breathing

Is something wrong?

You come on two knees, with more than two needs

Finding that it's all too easy

To be helped and found

You slept and he said

(Chorus)

It is in you, to carry on

It is in you, to lay down fears that hold

It is in you, to find your way home

Daylight's coming, the sun is blazing

New beginnings seep into you

But in the end it's distant shadows

That finally overwhelm your senses

And this time around

Is it love that you crown?

And this time around

You'll be more than who you are

(Chorus)

It is in you, to carry on

It is in you, to lay down fears that hold

It is in you, to find your way home

[Guitar]

[Drums]

Whoa oh oh oh...

(Repeats)

Could you find yourself a way home? (4x)

(Chorus)

It is in you, to carry on

It is in you, (ohh) to lay down fears that hold

It is in you, (ohh) to find your way home

An old lover should me this song. It reminded me to be better.

The last I heard, she repenting.

I should too.

Gotta find my way home too.

Dear N,

2011-12-06T00:55:00.001+08:00

Every time I think of her, I think of you.
Isnt this bad?
Sigh, as much as I had to admit it,
Both of us turned cold.
We have lives to lead. Dreams to follow.
Remember how we used to joke?
How we'd run away on a bike, to travel the world. Just with clothes on our back and money in our wallets.

I blame the feastive season. Its this time round that I'll think of you.

Sigh. What a shame!

Back to the matter at hand.
As I think of her, I think of you.
Does that make her a replacement?
Than thats just mean.
Why do I keep feeling that I wont regret knowing her.
Its her eyes maybe.

I should say hello. To get it out of my system.

I wonder though, do you talk about me during this feastive season?

Maybe not.

As I thought to myself

2011-12-06T00:45:00.001+08:00

I kept thinking and thinking.
I wondered what was wrong.
I wondered what went right.
Have you ever realise that the actions and events that took place were faults of your own?
Your ego and pride.
Is the reason things happened that way?

I thought of several things that night.
And realise that all I can do now,
Is bite onto the bitter humble pie.
Making sure it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
So I'll remember.
My ego and pride will be my downfall.
It will be the reason why no one will be close to me.
It will be the reason why I'll feel empty.

I laugh it off. Even with nothing, I am still me.
For all that I have lost, I gained much more.

For that is just me.
What a shame it had to be.

Dear N,

2011-12-02T00:57:00.001+08:00

I know we don't talk often anymore but I saw this girl, and she had the same warmth as you did.
Maybe I'm over reacting.

But I wanna talk to her.
She reminded me the same feelings when I wanted to talk to you too.

I'm in a mess right now.

I'm going crazy.

2011-11-29T01:33:00.001+08:00

Bad guy,

2011-11-29T00:51:00.002+08:00

Talk is cheap,

It's as dirty as it gets.

I'll be a man of my words;

i'll do the best that I can.

Allow me to be the bad guy.

Allow me to be fake.

If it means much to you that I'm perceived as a person who has no character;

then so be it.

I know myself more.

I'm learning about myself more and more.

Tell me I'm lying.

Tell me I'm fake.

Tell me so much more so that you can bring me down.

What's so different about you and me? Is the path I took?

The friends I make, the tales I tell?

The truth I see? or is it the lies I foresee?

What's the difference between you and me?

Are you so real? Are you a percentage above me?

Do you think that I'm a disgrace?

O how pathetic you are!

I grit my teeth.

I grew from nothing, and i'll attain everything!

Is the world not a stage and every man merely an actor of this wonderful tale?

Aren't we all the same?

Aren't we all the producer, script writer and narrator?

O what a shame to be looked down by you!

For what I'm worth, I shall hold everything that's dear to me!

Every single penny,

every single soul!

Every single tear,

every single laughter!

For I strive for it!

I am neither cynical nor do I wish to see you in flames dear friend.

For it keeps me moving, for it keeps me alive.

I shall judge my actions, accordingly.

I shall decide what to do, fittingly.

If a little bird mentions to me of my wrongful doing, then praise the lord!

I shall correct it!

I am sorry if I broke your heart dear friend of mine,

but this is for the best.

For the reaper is calling and I am merely stalling his time.

Persistent you and I.

What joy shall this be.

For there are no victors nor failures.

In a new world, everything is a result from nothing, and nothing is left because of everything.

I shall move on to this new world,

with the pennies I scrimped,

with the tears we all shed,

with the laughter we all had,

with the friends I have met.

We all shall move on to this new world,

for we all have nothing.

Fitting for a world that is out from nothing.

lock

2011-11-22T01:40:00.002+08:00

I keep them lock, my memories.

Every sin, every deed and every mistake.

I keep them lock.

I'll admit I hated the old me.

He was picked on, confused and was blamed for everything.

His friends at that point stabbed him where he stood.

Yet, in the honour of having friends, he kept quiet.

Used. Played. Mocked.

Yet I pity him.

As I read through my memories, archive by archive,

I saw this young boy who was ready to face the world; changed.

His confidence slipped away and his anger grew.

Hate and grudge.

That boy didnt write it down, but I could read though his bad grammar.

I remembered how he felt.

But in all his hate and in all his grudges, there was a child who wanted attention.

He wanted to be accepted. He wanted to laugh with the crowd, rather then laughed at.

O how foolish were you.

Yet you never gave up.

Out of that failure exterior others and yourself saw,

You accepted anyone's plea for help.

You threw your dignity, almost risked your education, wasted your money and spoilt your youth.

And at what cost I ask you, child.

At what cost?

For others, you lost yourself.

O how foolish were you?

How could such a cheerful guy became to that pathetic person?

At that point of time, I bet with you, you couldnt look yourself in the eyes.

O foolish child, I knew what you did after.

You stiffened your upper lip,

Hardened your gaze

And dusted the dirt that you laid in for so long, off you.

You locked everything away.

To your looks, to your smile, to your name.

Everything locked away; leaving a tiny gap so you wouldnt forget the essentials.

Again you had nothing.

But because you had nothing, the potential of gaining everything was open for you.

You had nothing to lose, because you didnt have anything to risk.

But does your memories haunt you at night some times I wonder.

Level 2; doubt

2011-11-20T00:46:00.002+08:00

Whats your worth?are you any value to the society?

Maybe to your friends?

To your family?

What is your worth?

What is your collateral.

What so important about you, that makes you stand out?

If you could ever find the reason,

tell me.

Because I cant find my worth some days.

Moving on

2011-11-17T01:08:00.002+08:00

I prefer friends over lovers to be honest.

They're there for you.

They dont come and go.

True friends are as good as your shadow.

But then again..

To have someone to know your jokes, share your laughter and tears.

Having fun under the big blue sky.

That would be wonderful wouldnt it?

I guess I'll keep on moving till I find the right companions to accompany me though-out my journey.

I wonder how long it'll take?

I guess I have to keep moving on.

2011-11-11T22:48:00.002+08:00

tell me what you would do

if I happened to get signed

you would probably tell ya friends u knew i would make it with my little damn sick rhymes

take a look at me, 5 years down the road

im not afraid, just excited about what the future holds

always knew I would make it ever since I was a kid

just wanted to feed my family and that was it

but now the situation's changed, my friend's all fucked up

it will never be the same, cause now everybody's a suck-up

I ain't Jack Neo, well I'm just being human

don't you dare tell me what I'm suppose to be doing

cuz i've been thru so much I can't tell who to trust

in a society where money, power equals lust

its a shame, what the world's becoming to

talk about evil when the evil one's becoming you

work so hard just to know you need to pull strings

and I can't give a damn when fucks ask me to do things (YEAH)

I was destroyed when I saw papa in a hearse

since birth music to me was a gift & a curse

Everybody's telling me to stay strong

while I try so hard to get courage just to move along

I gotta take care of my home but I cry when im alone

In my zone i do shit that you will never condone

I will die for my mom, not everybody can say that

I may look angry but I promise you I ain't mad

laughing at rappers that I know i am better than

the fact that they suck is evidently evident

so do you and and imma do me sucker

if you dont like me, sue me motherfucker

level 1; denial

2011-11-11T21:56:00.003+08:00

I hate this.

I hate the society.

I hate the crowd.

I hate and I hate and I hate.

Why am I so scornful?

This society,it's a burden.

It took everything from me.

My time,

My health,

My pride,

My "friends"

My love.

All I wanted was to laugh at the end of the day.

But look at me.

I dont need this shit.

I'm not a doormat.

I'm not your butler.

Everthing I have, will be and has been taken away.

What else do I have to my name?

My smile.

Will you want that too?

Same air.

2011-11-10T01:05:00.004+08:00

you wake up.

grab the towel.

get your cold shower.

take your coffee and out you go.

Same things in lesson.

Same things after school.

Same things when you get home.

You go to bed with a heavy sigh.

Wake up and the whole thing repeats itself.

At first youre energetic but as time passes by suddenly it becomes a bore, redundancy.

But you gotta keep on smiling. You gotta keep working hard.

Whats the point then?

Youre unhappy with the way it work.

you decide that the world is unfair.

you blame things.

smallest guestures, smallest offence.

everything's a hindrance.

As your mask wears thin, you realise that people has distant themselves away.

Youre starting to ask why.

What did you do wrong?

You hate how you've became a victim of society.

you decide to blame everything on yourself.

you hate how you dress.

you hate how you look.

you hate how you address to people.

Lastly you hate how useless you think you are.

Whats the point?

Shouldnt you be helping yourself before others?

If you think that you're such a disgrace and a burden, ask yourself this.

Are you a disgrace and a burden to yourself?

The world is your stage and you are the actor, the editor, the narrator and the producer.

If you cant change others.

Look down in yourself and ask, is there anything wrong with me?

but then, in my eyes, you are you. Therefore you are perfect in your smallest ways.

People can afford to hate you. But should that let you down?

I think not. why would you let a random actor bring you down to your knees.

Are you not but equal in a blind man's eyes?

Do you not breathe the same air as he?

do you not walk the same grounds he steps?

Does he not have problems of his own?

Does he not have lack of esteem in foreign crowds?

But why must we allow others to bring us down is such despair.

You are the actor, the editor, the narrator and the producer.

What you do, at the end of the day, is your responsibility.

And your choice.

Is not a pity?

Oh how foolish have we all have fallen.

Last days.

2011-11-09T00:04:00.002+08:00

you know what sucks,

to imagine it's actually the last few days you're gonna live?

With that in mind, how would you like to leave this place.

I've met some who'se so afraid to meet the lord.

Then there are other's who want to make sure they die with no regrets.

I wonder, what does that make me.

It's pretty scary,you know. Knowing that I'd probably drop dead any minute.

Last week, machines couldnt detect my pulse, I guess it was a hardware failure.

I keep waking up as if I was away somewhere.

Mother dear keep saying I'm looking rather pale.

My chest hurts once in awhile but I'm hoping it's just the healthy lifestyle im adopting.

Then again, who knows.

I'll lead it to the fullest. I will not regret the things I never did.

And I'll die with a smile, not with fear.

Then suddenly

2010-01-20T16:30:00.002+08:00

Silly girl

2010-01-15T16:07:00.002+08:00

silly girl, didnt you know how much i love you, ever since the day I said hi?

I'd kiss you good night but tonight your'e just far away.

I'd tell you I love you but I told myself I wouldnt so I'll miss my chance again.

I'd tell you every time I never speak to you I miss you like hell, but I cant.

I'd tell you your like a melody in my head but you already know that from the nights I sang.

silly girl, didnt you know how much I love you, ever since the day I said hi?

what i did in 2009

2010-01-14T18:30:00.001+08:00

BOLD THE THINGS YOU DID IN 2009!!

Dyed your hair an odd color.
Went skinny dipping.
Bought something you didn’t need.
Snuck out of your house.
Became obsessed with a song no one knew.
Learned a song on your phone with your keypad.
Knitted something.
Ran a mile.
Fell in love.
Said, “like yeahh” too many times.
Lost your closest friends.
Got into a fight with someone you loved.
Climbed a tree.
Did something you said you wouldn’t.
Figured out who your real friends were.
Graduated High School.
Shopped online.
Realized who you truly are.
Sang karaoke.
Flew across the world.
Performed in front of a large audience.
Met someone new you found online.
Found a new band you now love.
Realized that Kanye West essentially sucked.
Got drunk.
Got high.
Spoke to a police officer.
Realized everyone is a hypocrite.
Panicked over something stupid.
Failed a class.
Fell out of love.
Played a video game for hours straight.
Spent time with your family.
Ate dinner alone.
Cried in the shower.
Gained a new family member.
Shot off your own fireworks.
Made a snowman.
Got yelled at for no reason.
Waved at people you didn’t know in passing cars.
Changed your entire look.
Had sex.
Ran outside naked when it was freezing out.
Made your own fire.
Laughed at something that made no sense.
Fell asleep on the phone.
Told someone you loved them.

found this at nad's blog. awesome right

update

2010-01-13T23:26:00.002+08:00

this is my fave photogenic person. and bubu. bubu is bubu
Eddie : Hell no they didnt -refer to stomp-

Jing yi : oh noes!
Eddie : this is my grr face! SS it!

Niki : lol ok!
"yeah so I've changed in the past few months and yes to those who didnt knew, I cut my hair and planning to keep it this way"

Monster

2010-01-12T23:22:00.002+08:00

His little whispers.
Love Me. Love Me.
That's all I ask for.
Love Me. Love Me.
He battered his tiny fists to feel something.
Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something.

Monster.
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here.
Looking through the window...

That night he caged her.
Bruised and broke her.
He struggled closer.
Then he stole her.
Violet wrists and then her ankles.
Silent Pain.
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.

Monster.
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here.
Looking through the windows.
I will.
Hear their voices.
I'm a glass child.
I am Hannah's regrets.

Monster.
How should I feel?
Turn the sheets down.
Murder ears with pillow lace.
There's bath tubs.
Full of glow flies.
Bathe in kerosene.
Their words tattoed in his veins.

-Meg & Dia, monster

Those words you say, so easily. your passing remarks which are taunts to me.
Those remarks which make me bite my lips, and clench my fist in anger.
Those remarks that break me down.
I know im neither good nor clever but give me some decency and space.

Why do I feel as if I'm thrown to one corner once I've become invalid.

Is every move I've made wrong in your eyes?
You said you gave it all fair, at times i doubt that or am I being selfish.
This is why I never talk about real things.
This is why I'm always in my room and on the computer.
You'll never know how much I'd love to see the beauty of the world.
But then neither did you.

So tell me how to feel; from this marionette you've created. Tell me how should I feel.

then she came along

2010-01-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

I was at my worst point today. worse of all I had to keep it under. i had to keep laughing. and smiling.

then she said " I believe you are a good man, I have faith in you".

those words brought me to actual tears.

Only god knows how much I needed her and is so lucky to have met her. even if its just for awhile.

I'm lucky so please dont take her away from me.

please.

insomniac

2010-01-11T19:43:00.000+08:00

I've got soul but..

2010-01-11T15:45:00.000+08:00

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
...

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and out, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

Help.

Where I feel I was brought from

2010-01-10T13:13:00.000+08:00

What Decade Fits Your Personality Best?

Eddie took the "What Decade Fits Your Personality Best?" quiz and the result is 1930's.

You are strong and determined and have what it takes to get through life's storms. You are very helpful to those around you-- be it your friends, your family, or even a neighbor in need. You are a great leader and strong-willed person, and take challenges as a way to better yourself...But you also have a deep sense of warmth and nurturing for those you care about. You are well-rounded and tough because you have to be. You aren't a "diva" but rather a humble person with admirable character. With more hard-working, quality like you, this world would be a much better place. By being able to turn a little into a lot, you know how to make life enjoyable even if it's just through the little things.

Have a nice week people.

Things that I never spoke of

2010-01-09T00:36:00.000+08:00

I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm blind and shakin'
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it

But I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
And I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes

hear my plea, please if you could.

innocence

2010-01-06T18:13:00.000+08:00

papa...mama..i like..this home..

Good morning world

2010-01-05T12:03:00.000+08:00

Good morning world. Now get your ass out of bed and keep moving.
seriously

Impact

2010-01-04T13:01:00.000+08:00

All we want is to impact the world.

-kaziac Kasmadi

I'll change for the better. I promise :]

bunny

2010-01-03T22:56:00.001+08:00

gosh. im walking a limp. least i got niki doing the sugar dance. hahaha

bad days gone! GG

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010-01-02T00:49:00.000+08:00

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day

Each breath escaping my body becomes transparent and goes far away
And even when I think everything’s dark, I’m only blindfolded

Offering a prayer, I wait for a new day to come
Until the reflection of the sunrise sparkling on the sea disappears completely

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

People’s hearts are constantly changing, peeling away fresh layers
with each new phase of the moon

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you, and keep you strong

And still, the journey goes on, even on these calm days
And still, each new phase of the moon reflects its light onto my heart

Offering a prayer, I wait for a new day to come
Until the reflection of the sunrise sparkling on the sea disappears completely

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

We are all rowing the boat of fate, the waves keep on coming and we can’t escape
Even that is a beautiful journey; even anything is a beautiful journey

I feel like disappearing some times. I feel like dropping everything. just once.
I cant see her smile anymore.
Not anymore.Hers belong to someone else. And she smiles only for him.
So let me disappear. just this once.
I feel as if others cant afford to give a damn.

Happy new year everyone.

Sebelum cahaya

2009-12-31T14:31:00.000+08:00

ku teringat hati
yang bertabur mimpi
kemana kau pergi cinta
perjalanan sunyi
engkau tempuh sendiri
kuatkanlah hati cinta

ingatkan engkau kepada
embun pagi bersahaja
yang menemanimu sebelum cahaya
ingatkan engkau kepada
angin yang berhembus mesra
yang kan membelaimu cinta

kekuatan hati yang berpegang janji
genggamlah tanganku cinta
ku tak akan pergi meninggalkanmu sendiri
temani hatimu cintaingatkan engkau kepada
embun pagi bersahaja
yang menemanimu sebelum cahaya
ingatkan engkau kepada
angin yang berhembus mesra
yang kan membelaimu cinta

I remeber a heart full of dreams,
where are you now love?
The silent jouney
that you have faced alone
Steel your heart love
~
A steelheart that always keeps its promises
hold my hand my love
I wont go away and leave you alone
I would accompany your heart, love

shagged.

2009-12-31T02:10:00.000+08:00

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

too effing shagged. darn it nikki! I SHALL SS YOUR RED CHEEKS ONE DAY. YOU JUST WAIT!

even God knows

2009-12-30T20:53:00.000+08:00

this was stated on my facebook app; God wants you to know..

"On this day of your life, Eddie, we believe God wants you to know ... that the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang the best.

Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you are, work with whatever is at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along."

Even God knows I'm procrastinating.

GAAHH WHERE ARE YOU?!, oh yeah you went out -_-

crap

2009-12-30T16:27:00.001+08:00

i cant focus

sush, dont tell

2009-12-29T23:46:00.000+08:00

and we laugh.

my gosh thats be biggest smile I've seen

dear lord

2009-12-29T23:03:00.000+08:00

"you called me buddy and showed your interest in me , but what do I have with that if you don't cross the ocean to be with me to see we are just meant to be "

Dear lord,

protect her as well as you protect my family oh so well. She has become such a dear part to me, have you not known.Because of her, I breathe another breath with a smile. I wait for the next time when we speak to each other. About sweet nothings. I wait for the next time when we laugh. Because we want to.

I have never known someone with such innocence and strength. To be for someone just because he is a person. Not a someone.

For every breathe I give to you my lord, please protect her steps and for every breathe you return to me, I shall show her the meaning to be loved.

Dear lord,

protect her with all my heart for I cannot be there when I am needed.

Dear lord,

show her how much I love her as much as you love each and every of your creations.

Dear lord,

let her only shed tears of joy and never of pain and sadness.

Dear lord,

protect her smile for I look forward to it everyday.

bless it be.

this is fun

2009-12-28T00:51:00.000+08:00

the things i do when im msn-ing with nikki >:D told you i'd do it.

draw joker's face
OH NOES SHE'S WATCHING ME
FINNALLY CAUGHT HER YAWNING AHAHA!
this totally happens...

and she would lol when i fall asleep.

i have a new friend, her name would be nikki

let me be me

2009-12-27T17:23:00.000+08:00

3 doors down - let me be myself

I guess i just got lost being someone else,
I tried to kill the pain
But nothing ever helped
I left myself behind
Somewhere along the way
Hoping to come back around
and find myself some day

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

Would you Let Me Be Myself
Coz I'll never find my heart
Behind someone else
I'll never see the light of day
Living in this cell
It's time to make my way
Into the world i knew
And take back all of these times
That I gave in to you

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don't mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

That's all i ever wanted from this world
Was to let me be me..

Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself
Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don't mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

I've been busy lately. and I've been stressed out so much. I couldnt help it. I felt as if i was being someone else. but then I met someone who made me feel as if I was normal. and I needed that.

Through late night laughs, just staring at each other making funny faces. it made me feel a whole much better.

thank you nikki :]

i needed that

" I want those wings"

" wings? you wanna fly? lets"

must be the christmas spirit.

2009-12-15T23:38:00.000+08:00

well everything is the same again. nothing to be fret of. mom is talking. the whole family is laughing. I even went for a modelling interview and got in. thats a wowzer isnt it? haha.

i feel like talking so much right now. There are so many things on my mind. I think bout the road less traveled. I think about the other way around.

I wonder why things changed. just like today while everyone was at the children department and i strolled down the toy section i wondered; "when did i grow too old for this"

then I wondered when did I became a father or even an adult before I knew I was a teenager. or did it pass me by? I get so worried and uptight some times. I fear about what people think and people say. I wonder, if that was me before? when did I realise I couldnt be reckless anymore.

When did I start paying for myself and others. when did i realise that I couldnt depend on my mother for everything?

It scares me. It puts me awake till 4 at days. It makes me wonder if others are the same or is it just me. am I being paranoid? I hope not.

I really need someone. to talk to. to laugh with. someone I can call my own. Not worrying that she'll run away or be disappointed with me for being who I am.

I need someone right now so badly. And I know there are alot of people who've been my side this couple of months. but their not mine to keep. but I thank you all. you know who you all are.

Nad, Afiq, Kas, Jing Yi, Marietta, Mom & Dad , Miles and not to forget Syimah. Im really greatful to have met this kind of people. They make me never to regret what I've done and feel good about myself because I did something good and I should feel good. thanks.

but this constant fear in the back of my mind some how makes me feel as if im drifting apart. It scares me at times. But I've got no worries since for the past 6 odd months it makes me feel as if im a new person. :)

thank you.

happy christmas everyone and see you all in the new year

god bless.

Gone

2009-12-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

Am I such a wasteral you?

Did you think I was such a hypocrite?

Did I break you so bad that you wouldnt accept me?

Wasn't I the best I could be?

Couldn't you have just given me some slack?

No you wouldn't get a trophy but atleast you knew now.

You wished to return things back to normal

yet you ignore me as if I killed many

I needed you so much but you weren't there.

or were you?

You had to entertain them.

Yes you loved me and worked your hardest to get me everything I want.

but didn't you notice it wasn't what I wanted?

Yes I know what I did was wrong

but to the extent that you fear that I'll become such a villain due to that?

I've been doing it for 2 years.

Yes it was behind your back but I didn't like it either.

Do you fear that all this while, what you saw and knew wasn't me?

I was always myself.

I always loved.

I always was there.

But you've placed me in such position I cant speak.

You've made me stay away from the only place I called sanctuary.

You called me a coward for trying to avoid you

and I admit. I am. I'm weak.

I'm so weak that I cant help breaking your heart.

I thought you'd let me be me.

but instead you wanted me to be someone else.

A mirror of what you wished you were.

Didn't you?

I always felt what I did was never enough.

You kept singing praises of others.

Didn't you know that it let me down.

I gave alot more then you knew.

My friends.

My love.

My physical state.

at one point my mental state.

You said you were all alone, yet you wouldn't bother to open up anymore.

Do you hate me that much?

So many times I've kept thinking what would be like for all of you if I were gone.

Do you know what it'd do to a person.

To imagine how he never existed. It would drive him insane.

You told me countless of time how you wished you never have met him.

But didn't you know that you were wishing I was never here as well?

Your fears of me not supporting you later in the future.

I swore myself it would never happen.

Even death be upon me.

I swore on myself that I wouldn't be that villain you saw when you were young.

I swore on the Quran that I would never have changed.

I am me.

But I fear I'll be gone before you noticed that.

All this while. I was me.
This was probably the 2nd time I thought of doing it.

But I reminded myself why I didn't do it before.

I have never wished ill nor bad mouth you in front of a crowd of 1200.

Yet you seem so easy to do it.

You said my ego was to high.

Guess where I got it from.

Mother.

I'll get out of your hair before you know it.

I'll be gone before you know it.

I'm sorry.

he smile

2009-11-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

For two different days
I listened to two different girls
one from the past the other from the present.
I just sat there and listen to her story.
Her love life and how she met her prince charming
and I listened to the other's fear of losing hers.
I listen to their fights as if I was there.
I listen to their side of the story as if I knew what had already happened.
I smiled as they keep rattling on and on.
how he swept her feet and how he made her smile.
how scared she was for him and how she loved him all her life.
I find it ironical how she talked to me about him but never noticed Im mentally never there.
I find it ironical how she could remember word for word
and the other was lost for words.
but I smiled.
At that moment it didnt hurt, not one bit I told myself.
they're happy.
yet I'm sad.
but I smiled.

I'm not feeling to good. in fact I feel down as a mutha f*cker. haha I've decided to post up a short story/poem whenever I feel down. makes it seem interesting. if you can sum up all the short story it'll tell you something ;]. anyway take care busy busy busy

Mister,Mister

2009-11-24T22:07:00.000+08:00

I was smoking at a park bench one day when a a few kids came up to me
"Mister,mister why are you smoking?" asked a blue eyed child.
"I have things on my mind kid, now excuse me" I answered.
"Mister,mister why do you wear a ring " asked a boy.
"It reminds me of who i was and who I am" I sighed.
"Mister,mister why aren't you smiling?" a little girl ask.
"I sold my happiness to debt and guilt" i answered again.
"Mister,mister why arent you with your friends?" a blonde boy questioned me.
"I traded it for responsibility and dedication" I said under my breathe.
"Dont worry Mister we'll be your friends" all four answered in unison.
I smiled as the kids waved good-bye but deep down my heart sank so deep.
& for once my cigarette tasted so bitter.

I feel like crap these few days. Uploading pics on friday.

a day at the beach

2009-11-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

photo update

2009-11-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

yos. so much stuff has been happening i cant be arsed to updated but heres are some photos and captions. you know what to do

Today

(couple shoot)

awwww

i dunno why JY is so photogenic

peekaboo!

i just love taking photos of this couple.call me weird

I swear LJ look lik Adrian Pang. He's also in water polo you know

Sushi outing (Weds)

the salmon was sooo soft waaaa~

the octopus however was hard. going back there 2nd dec :]

Nad has suushii

I was stold i could stop time D:

I so had to upload this though it was blurry

Due2 budak muker stone.BAIK AH
AH HAI WUSSAP.

Tuesday

I has pocky D:

omnomnomnom

aperdaah

OPEN WIDE~

Last Sun dinner after work at Sempang Bedok

Afiq with his texting

yes thats my boomz hair. yes thats a fucking hug mug.

pick syafiq from work only because the taxi on my bro side not enough space

asal nad muker stress?

(Y)

happy birthday

2009-11-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM & DAD

this is the lady who raised me and my brother to be better person

remind us how important is education

telling us we can do anything if we wanted to; all we needed is a little push

this is the man who stopped me before I took the wrong road when i asked

" Ayah, kalau abi jadi jahat ayah boleh jage mummy tak?"

his answer was so simple " No, I want you to jage mummy"

thats the man who taught me to laugh at every simple thing in life

the man who taught me that hardwork always makes you stronger

this two people though they barely speak to each other

raised 2 children and taught them values and principles.

I love them all my heart

anyway me and dad was planning a surprise for mom to bring her out to lagoon but the plan was found out and she told me and dad she'd be tired so i made other ideas >:)

after school rushed to habibi which is f'cking expensive this days and bout chili crabs, sting ray and sambal kangkong.

went back and headed to the bakery up the hill infront my house and bout chocolate moose. haha

bout to cross the traffic light when I saw dad opposite the street. so I teman him la get stuff for tomorrow work.

when we got back mom saw the cake and went " I knew he'd buy that" but what she didnt know was that I bought habibi :D

I prayed fast and set up the table while dad cooked the rice. Gosh wish you could see her face.

Like a little girl. Ironically the food was almost gone when the rice was already cooked.

buwahahah sad seh

Anyway had fun and stuff. I didnt talk much though. was too happy seeing my mother smile.

haha im odd arent i? anyway enjoy the pictures :D

cake~

whooo my mom blew the candles in 1 shot

bapak i rock :D

sting raaaayy~~

khai with his nonchalant face haha

Ayid : And then she was like bla bla so i was like oh yeah
Riyas : I see

Hafiz : Burger!!!

Bubu: nomnom burger nomnom

couples this days everywhere want to hug. so cute that it makes me sick :P

paradise boy

hafiz!

JY & LJ approved by eddie :D

i see the light!

eddie :D

when you cant wake up

2009-11-02T15:03:00.000+08:00

when you cant wake up in the morning and sleep at night.
when you cant eat during lunch but your stomach is grumbling in the evenings
when you cant laugh if your friends make stupid jokes or cry when something bad happens

either you're in love, having a bad day or both.

welcome to my life now go fuck yourself

because

2009-10-30T22:15:00.000+08:00

because I cant find reasons to wake up in the morning any more I dont feel like me even though I keep hiding it. it sucks.

anyway here are photos. not gonna label them all or am I? see how ah

afiq with my art project

zoinkers! ghost

oddly it was mold to my face but it looks nothing like me

today while at ubi waiting for afiq during his F.T.

ayid a.k.a felicia with jing yi

riyas with a little of ayid never hurt

the photo im most proud of taking. i dont know why

their bff's till death :]

bfff - qouted by bubu

dunno la what this siao girl doing~

beng with ah lian. nice right?

bubu being..bubu

yushhoo~

another set of bff .__.

afiq at hei sushi

anif at hei sushi

my raw salmon

bus ride

the only decent photo with marieta that night

fishy fishy face

marieta with her loli

eric ting refuses to take his photo

armstrong

selamat tinggal

2009-10-12T23:53:00.000+08:00

someone cheer me up because I feel low as fuck

-nights

lucky on a unlucky day

2009-10-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

Raya was fun not gonna go into details though but tell you this; what dad said made me cry.

What he said made me was the reason I changed years back and I'm glad I truly am.

anyway on to today. I thought there was a performance at esplanade today so I clever clever ajak rafiqqa and in the end it turned out it was yesterday so she decided to stay home and I crashed with afiq and his new friend :D had tons of laughs seh.

My specs are broke though so I have to use my spare ones. Never knew the degrees were so high back then. Dammit :/

anyway did some shopping at penny and got 2 clothes! haha

I have no mood to blog actually. I might start whinning if I do so I wont :D

but tell you this

I'm damn lucky on an unlucky day :D mkay enjoy ah the pictures ehk

-nights

so cute >..< ah another cute baby for you
the overhead incharge of hari raya. She like directs everything. WOW right?
ah here's the bapak of the family. very bapakly as you can see
my room on raya. So pretty kan kan?

ah muzzamil. Dah bujang jugak lahabao ni

ni budak askar haha
10 years down the road if he becomes a matrep tk gune kene jugak la die
anak bujang mak aku tau! haha
faezin :]
my mom and echa wawa wa look like marieta too bad didnt get a good shot of her
uncle anie best uncle ever. well not the best but the friendliest i suppose
i call her mak. mak = grandma
eh auntie fatima malu gak?
ahk tengok aku bapak la sial :] baik dok
kak mariam and her husband. abang usoff
another blurr image :/
the newly married abang aim. ehk muzzamil in the photo style ke per budak
mak :]
ayah with nabiha
ahk tengok tv aku best kan
nabiha again
ni mulut banyak ni. besar besar jadi cam yani eh yani ;]
aunti whidah
uncle ussop and abang aim. berbual aper entah
aper ni budak budak main psp
ayah in the phone.idk if you can se khai in the background
cak!
karishma's sister. I forgot her name
joel with the wtf face
best times with poly friends

bluek!!
another bapak orang pose
cam gigi ok? can pose for colgate add?
ah cak!
dengar metal plak dehni
marieta never knew :]
nad nad pikir aper tu
kas is thinking bout the future
after work

eh malu pulak mentang2 dah bacin susun kueh malu ah
ah amek kau muker aku
mak ehkk
muker slumber sook
dinner event with nad and her relatives. dont know how i got involved but i did
muker bitch
was in the bus with afiq and the guy infront of us had a funny face. had to take it la
afiq in the dark baik pe
eh muker plaster nampak
forgot where i took this
scenary 2
scenary 3
esplanade rooftop

-nights

hey hey you you !

2009-09-13T20:04:00.000+08:00

Right before I start, Imma say happy birthday to two very special people. One much more special then the other.

1st is this dude

the 2nd is this sweetheart

So Im wishing a

VERY HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO MARIETA

VERY HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY TO KHAI, MAH LITTLE BRO

anyway nothing much happened during the weekdays so I decided to bring the guys and girl out and walk around Geylang. Afiq & I got lost when Kas well.. went without us .___.

Afiq and I had a great talk about well random things seriously

We found some place to sit and waited for kas to appear with marieta.

Do take note that marieta is also very short sighted, she couldnt see me even when I'm right infront of her wearing a BANDANA. LIKE CMON!

anyway we jalan jalan around geylang and had some impromto ideas.

WHY NOT CELEBRATE MARIETTA'S BIRTHDAY EVENTHOUGH IT WAS 3 DAYS EARLY.

so we quietly shuttled to tampines while making jokes bout marietta if she was malay. We decided to call her MARIAM. yeah. Much more easier to call her mariam anyway. She looks like one

So we told her we wanted to buy cake for my brother's birthday but when we went down the block we whipped out the candles and make her blow the cake. Another note. I cant stick candles in o__o

And I tells you the birthday girl doesnt act the least suprise so im like WTH .DAMMIT .

Nevermind .We all had good laughs.

I decided to walk home while Afiq & Kas went home with the birthday girl.

and it brings us today.

I REBONDED MAH WHOLE HAIR TAKE THAT BIATCHES

so I had to sit for 3 whole hours while the lady barber and the new guy who does a pretty job of washing hair do my hair.

mkay imma show you guys the pictures of my rebond aswell as the snapshots of the bdae girl.

Happy birthday sweets ;]

the hard as hell gel stage. Look how bapakly i look!
After 3 turns of cream and lotions and washes
before the cut. DAMN IM ONE SEXY BEAST! TOLD YOU NAD~
but I decided to go with the decent mat look
how slenge bacin do i look with mah specs?rofl :3

AH HORR BURBDAE GURL PLAY WITH MAH LIGHTER! TELL DADDY D:
pffts camera shy she says
courtesy of idiots are us!
mmmm~~Cake :D

oh look old photo of marietta eating hehe >:)

anyways thats all for now people.

take care ok?!

love you all :D

No wonder

2009-08-29T01:40:00.000+08:00

i love this guy.

seriously .____.

is that weird?

dating tips

2009-08-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

this just made me laugh like hell

enjoy ;)

EMERGENCY!

2009-08-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

IM SOOO SUPER DUPER WOOPER ON THE SIDE SORRY!!

im serious!

I've been damn busy lately I forgot that I had a blog and i forgot to reply everyone sorry -___-

anyways recent updates eh

lets see school is ending on tues which the last day of the exam!whoohoo

hopefully i wont have to take sub papper :S much more risky man

neways went jamming with kas and afiq as usual with 2 extra guest ;)

my bro and marieta.

Apparently they have the same birthday and I forgot bout their dates -___-

haha this time when I manage to sing vely teh good. We forgot to record O__O

RAWWR

2nd note I've changed back to this blog because...well this is much more easy to the eyes i suppose haha

no sense eh but I like it

well I've got new songs here so slowly2 dengar la ehk?

Today is the 1st day of the fasting month and so much things dah telah happen..good lord

haha imagine no cursing drinking green tea and smoking..

dear lord hahaha

my love life update?

" "

there you go. Nothing seriously. hahah kalau ade jodoh tkper tapi tkder rofl

who knows laa.see how

any way took some pictures but marieta doesnt want me to upload her pictures to my blog

RAAAWR nvm

i'll bully you when we're learning guitar >:)

heres all the pictures. enjoy sweets :)

Eddie: Aku spider-man
kas : to be or not to be.that be the question?hmmsk
aint she a doll?
Eddie: Macam bapak orang
I swear this is afiq's 1st reaction whenever I take his picture
Eddie: I was like noway and he was like way so i was like zomg did he?
Eddie: Eh Eh under my umbrella ellla ella eh eh eh
Eddie: RAAAWR

Kas : PHEAR THE LOBANG HIDUNG!
Eddie: Good lord I've been attacked by fingers!!
Nad: Low-rise pants eh? amek kau.bush~

Eddie: zomg-cencored-
Eddie & Afiq : AAAHH ATTACK OF THE HAIR!!

Eddie: CAAAAK

Nad: -trying her best to hold her laugher- Cheeese

i swear this is the most decent picture out of the whole lot

Eddie: haanntuuuuu

Nad: Woi

thats all folks take care

2009-08-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

hey guys tommorow's is abang aim's wedding and i cant wait! haha heres a love song for you lovers out there

zee avi- you and me

You were sitting on the coffee table
where you're reading Kierkegaard
Minutes later, you proceeded to say
something that almost broke my heart

You said, "Darling, I am tired of livin' my routined life.
There's so much in the world that i'd like
to soak up with my eyes."
Well, baby i never did stop you from going out to explore
We can do it all together from the colds of the poles
to the tropics of Borneo

Ba da da ba da...

Let's pack our bags
and lie on the easy stream
feel the water on our backs
where we can carry on dreamin'
where we can finally
be where we'd like to be
Darlin', just you and me

Just you and me...

So Darlin', what do you say?
Does that sound like a plan to you?
We can build our own little world
where no one can come through
We can live in huts made out of grass
we can greet father time as he walks pass
we can press feet into the dirt
a little mud, no, it wouldn't hurt

Ba da da ba da ba...

Let's pack our bags
and lie on the easy stream
feel the water on our backs
where we can carry on dreamin'
where we can finally
be where we'd like to be
Darlin', just you and me

Just you and me..

Engkau dan dia harus bersama

2009-08-08T04:26:00.000+08:00

I dont feel happy. I should but I dont.

I'm so down right now.Good knows why

hahah my luck eh its like 4.27am and I'm blogging.What a nutcase :S

anyway heres a vid from Taufik Batisah-Usah Lepaskan

Yang terindah
Terlukis di bibir mu
Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu
Sebegitu
Pudar kah sudah cinta yang ku beri
Berwarna warni segala
Yang dijanjikan ia

[Chorus]
Usah biarku bersendirian
Usah biar hati mu di tawan
Usah biar diri ku di sini
Seorang menunggu tanpa teman

Usah lepas genggaman tangan mu
Usah biar semua berlalu
Usah terlupa perasaan hati
Pertama kali kita bertemu

Usah lepaskan

[Bridge]
Tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlalu
Ku ingin selalu bersama mu

[Repeat Chorus]

Ku tak peduli apa sebabnya
Engkau dan dia harus bersama
Mendungnya langit bila berkata
Kita patutnya masih bercinta
Usah lepaskan
Usah lepaskan

Yang terindah
Terlukis di bibir mu
Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu
Sebegitu

no changes?

2009-08-03T12:08:00.000+08:00

currently in lecture theatre doing nothing but staring at the screen. URGH troublesome much?

People are saying theres no difference in my hair. I'm like "!@#$%^&" hahha especially mum. Funny la seh. she went to say "Malay barber cut your hair uh?Asal ade atap kau atas?"

-________-

Good lord.

anyway not in a good mood haha but I'm trying to smile.

I realised I've been sleeping later and later this few nights. first at 1.30 then 2.30 then 3.30 and now 4.30?

dear lord thats gonna be loads of trouble.

Some thing's on my mind but I cant say what.

dear lord some one help me?

anyway here's 2 picture of me I just took.

Enjoy laughing to yourself :X

BTW KAS; HAPPY FUCKING 18TH BIRTHDAY YOU SPOILER!!xD

DAH LEH NAIK KERETA DOK! LINCAH GI AMEK LECEN AKU LEH TOMPANG AHAHAHAxD

Oops just found this vid while roaming youtube juust just now. Enjoy eh?

Irwansyah - Camelia

Camelia maafkanlah aku
Karena ku tak bisa temani tidurmu
Camelia lupakanlah aku
Jangan pernah lagi kau temui aku

Kau wanita terhebat
Yang pernah singgah di hatiku
Kau wanita yang tegar
Aku mohon lupakan aku

Sudahlah jangan menangis lagi
Ku rasa cukup sampai di sini
Mungkin di suatu saat nanti
Kau temui cinta yang sejati

Sudah cepat lupakanlah aku
Jangan pernah ungkit masa lalu
Ku takut kekasihku pun tahu
Kau pernah menjadi simpananku

Camelia...

Kau wanita terhebat
Yang pernah singgah di hatiku

reflections of a skyline

2009-08-02T14:17:00.000+08:00

"for those who're in love
for those who fell in love
for those who fell out of love
for those who never been in love
for those who never knew what love is
for those who forgot what love ever was
for those who forgot what it meant to be in love"

working on my sketchbook,I'm left with 3 pages whoohoo
gonna cut my hair and go out to work later :S
see ya.

why

2009-07-29T02:10:00.000+08:00

i know i know i owe a decent entry instead of another vid but its my blog! ahaha enjoy this entry by secondhand seranade-why which i found on marieta's blog haha

The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you
I've broken all my promises to you.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

I should have known this wasn't real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.
I promise you I will bring you home
I will bring you home.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

flaws and all

2009-07-28T11:43:00.000+08:00

My apology for being a bitch yesterday haha
heres a vid to compensate all that ;)
enjoy

Flaws And All lyrics

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you

I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet you see the picture clear as day

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me, flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that

I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me, flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you

Don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
Catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
And that's why I love you
You, you, you

living you life

2009-07-27T16:34:00.000+08:00

comic from licd

God knows if something is wrong with me.Lappy's harddrive crashed during the weekend which i was planning to do my WDS so I had to wait till today in the morning to pick it up.Apparently everything was reseted due to the restoration which brings me to square one.Bad day eh? haha I dont mind though coz I got most of my work in hard copy already so I gotta put up an all nighter to do my work.Again

haha.I cant get that feeling I've been having this past few weeks.I really hate it.Why should people tell me what to do when I know what I'm doing -most of the time anyway. It isnt as if I go clubbing and come back late or slept with sleezy girls or taking drugs.They maybe right since what Im doing might lead to such a thing but I'm better then that.I'm not stupid.

I'm so sick and tired of everyone saying I cant do this or I have to do that or maybe there's another way of doing.Why cant I live my life? should I be kept in a bubble all my life? Should I be kept away from troubles that will hurt and scare me?

I've always brought this sayings for the past 3 years;"What doesnt kill me makes me stronger so why not do it?" and "living my life to the fullest by the wisest" kinda contradictory isnt it? but who gives a damn. Its what makes me happy.

I've shown concern to people yet they see it as an annoyance.Seriously,I shouldnt have been bothered by you. If I'm that annoying say it straight out and dont see my face ever again.Isnt that better then to curse my name every time I say something to you?

I dont know why but its this type of "attitude" that makes me so sick this back mouthing me,embarresing me and then realising what they did only to laugh it out to the others.Whats wrong with having fun while I'm doing my stuff? Whats wrong in making new friends while having fun? Why should we always bring the worst case scenario every where we go. Yes wost casr scenario is great so that we cant think ahead but if everyone is so pessimestic about everything,to the last single dot,what are you guys doing now?

Just live your fucking life without pulling others down god dammit.

nights people

a decent post Yohohoho, yohohoho

2009-07-24T22:07:00.000+08:00

ello there everyone. I did promise a decent entry right? haha so lets go trough the blog updates before enything aites.as you guys can see,I've put up a new blogskin,updated my links and put up a counter.Not too sure bout the counter though seems like no one visited it yet :s. nevermind! I'll grab new readers if I have to! whoooo

haha anyways

there was a presentation on monday.Went better then expected seriously.I feel good bout it and the guys were really sorry for well nt helping much but I should really thank them.They saved me again haah.

well didnt go to school on tues because everyone thought it was e-learning day but apparently it was.Hell broke loose.nuff said bout that

wedsday was well hmm fun haha! went to techno for lunch.Damn been awhile since I've been to that place :D oh yeah preston tagged along for lunch :D stayed back to teach riyas then played CZ! muwahha fun man.Went back around 9? i dunno didnt care

yesterday

didnt bring anything to school.Seriously because was planning to go orchard with the gang! before that we had to wait for appel class for half and hour to find out it was next week gaah! troublesome man.anyway we made our way to orchard when everyone stop at somerset.I also follow la but then they wanted to pick up riyas's gal when I realise I had a date with my old friends. So waved good bye and waited for the next train to orchard.

met joelle first and booked the tickets to harry potter and the half blood prince.Wished they could go a little further though,nt much details rawr D:

Today,did practically nothing besides fantically finding a new blogskin then editing haha.Then later in the evening went to down to slack with mom and all haha.

Yes I know I have a weird family,who doesnt.

Anyway imma leave you all with pictures aites? enjoy

Eddie:I cant tie my tie

Nad: lemme do it

Wati:Macam mak orang
Afiq:Nari nak makan ape ah..hmmm
eddie on seeing the picture on wati's blog: bwahahaha~!! cute XD muwahaha
my chemical geeks?
Eddie:Kiss my hand and offer me coffee as respect.I have spoken dananana anana -tune of the god father-
Eric:Yoshu!

Hafiz:Cak!
JY: watch out! I got 2 bodyguards you know

Riyas:Can you see me now?

Hafiz: CHEEZE
Afiq:I dig my nose because I want to.
Riyas:What?I'm hungry?!

muzammil:waaaat?-most annoying voice ever-

bitter sweet

2009-07-22T15:21:00.000+08:00

here's an entry by kanye west. enjoy :)

Bittersweet, you're gonna be the death of me
I dont want you, but I need you,
I love you and I hate you at the very same time

See what I want so much, should never hurt this bad
Never did this before, thats what the virgin said
We've been generally warned, thats what the surgeon says
God talk to me now this is an emergency

And she claim she only with me for the currency,
You cut me deep bitch cut me like surgery

And I was to proud to admit that it was hurtin me
I'd never do that to you at least purposely

We breakin up again we makin up again
but we dont love no more
I guess we fuckin then

Have you ever felt like you wanted to kill her
and you mixed them emotions with tequilla

and you mixed that with a little bad advice
on one of them bad nights
you have a bad fight

and you talkin bout her family her aunts and shit
and she sayin muhfucka yo mama's a bitch
you know domestic drama and shit

All the attitude
ill never hit a girl but ill shake the shit out of you

but im a be the bigger man
big pimpin like jigga man
oh i figure its

Bittersweet, you're gonna be the death of me
I dont want you, but I need you,
I love you and I hate you at the very same time

See what I want so much, should never hurt this bad
Never did this before, thats what the virgin said
We've been generally warned, thats what the surgeon says
God talk to me now this is an emergency

And my nigga says I shouldn't let her worry me
I need to focus on the girls we gettin currently
But I've been thinking and it got me back to sinking it
This relationship, it even got me back to drinking now

This Hennessey, is gon be the death of me

And I always thought that you havin my child was our destiny
But I can't even vibe wit you sexually
Cause every time that I try you will question me
Say "you fuckin them girls, disrespecting me?
You don't see how your lies are affecting me?
You don't see how our life was supposed to be?
And I never let a nigga get that close to me!
And you ain't cracked up to what you was supposed to be!
You always gone! You always be where them hoes would be!"
And it's the first time she ever spilled her soul to me!
I fucked up and I know it G
I guess it's bittersweet poetry

super duper busy

2009-07-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

so sorry,super duper effing busy.
I promise to give a decent blog entry and a tag reply as soon as i'm free,hopefully by weds.
anyway

phear his cuteness in all his glory.
Imma call him jon. jon be my kitty

nights all

ps: please feel free to laugh at me tommorow in school but not before the presentations.please and thank you :)

Ku cubah kejam mata tapi tak lena

2009-07-15T19:09:00.000+08:00

Izinkan diriku meluahkan rasa,
Maafkanlah aku andai kau terasa,
Biar ku paparkn apa yg terjadi,
Moga engkau tak ulangi.

Sungguh tak ku sangka kau berpaling tadah,
Setelah lamanya menjalinkan cinta,
Dalam diam-diam kau sudah berpunya,
Tanpa aku menyedari semuanya.

Aku mendoakan agar kau bahagia,
Bersama si dia insan yang kau suka,
Percintaan kita tak sampai ke mana,
Setakat di bibir saja.

Sayang...
Kau bina mahligai dari air mata,
Yang jatuh berderai di wajah sepiku,
Hancurnya hatiku bisa tak terkata,
Terhumban rasa diriku.

Oh aduhai ku masih ingati,
Janji manis dan saat romantis,
Kau pintaku supaya setia,
Akhirnya kau yang berubah.

Oh tuhanku tabahkan hatiku,
Temukan dengan ketenangan jiwa ini,
Dibelasah rindu,
Tetapi apa dayaku.

Ku cuba pejam mata tapi tak terlena,
Keranaku masih teringat pada mu,
Begitu payah nya nak ku melupakan,
Pernah kah kau memikirkan oh sayang...

wake me up when september ends

2009-07-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

yeah I drew that,feeling quite tired as usual.Must be the flu and me sneezing out blood.Jy says its because I'm too hot. I know right muwahahah.I think some tissue tore because I sneezed too hard,nothing to worry about on the secondhand I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO QN 4 OF ASSIGNMENT 1 OF THE @#$#%^& JAVA.GRRR.
Imma as around to see anyone can help me.seeya people :)
ps:dora I aint rotting at home
Ps:Ann got a new body haha nt sure I like it since its hard for me to touch her and stuff :S

nights all :D

new in town

2009-07-09T00:50:00.000+08:00

heres a little nice song from a new artist called little boots

heres new in town,enjoy :)

Heard you’re New in town
Want someone to show you around
Well no-one knows this place just quite like me
Well I don’t, hang with the crowd
Where I go, were dressing down
I’ll take you where the music plays for free

So don’t rely on people you meet
Cause no-one is safe in these streets

I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money but we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

What I do, you think so far
Is it all your hoping for
Does it live up to your every dream
Or do, we disappoint
While you make the choice
When you wake up can you hear a scream

So don’t rely on people you meet
Cause no-one is safe in these streets

I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

Cause I know how it feels to be alone
When strangers only make you feel apart
You never, ever felt so far from home
You never felt so far from home

I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

i dont feel like talking lately,dont know why just dnt feel like it.meh
haha nite people or morning either or haha

day and nite

2009-07-06T00:48:00.000+08:00

I cant see proper no more these days at night.

my feel so tired during the mornings and cant sleep at night.

m body keeps fidgeting by itself again.

I'm trying my best to control it and not worry anyone

but I'm not worried bout myself.

Never was never been.

My friend is sick.really sick I'm worried bout him now hopefully he'll recover and the 6 of us will have good times again

I'm trying so hard to keep everything and everyone I achieved over this 5 months.

I'm willing to put my last time so everyone around me is finally smiling

Dont tell me to give up on you when deep down I feel like giving up

Its like putting a gun at me at blank point.

Its great to help someone but it makes me so sick to the gut when whatever I said always falls on deaf ears.

I'm beat,I'm sorry

But I'm trying my best.

Yet every day I keep pushing myself,smiling so no one has to fret

I tried not smiling and everyone around me that day asked if I was ok

Everyone changes I know that,some dont.

I wanna make sure everyone makes happy but what about me.

No one I tried to keep hold on to spared a thought bout me.

No one I tried to keep hold on to asked if I'm ok.

If you keep pushing me when I try to help,then I wont bother.Thats how I do things

If I try helping and yet you never listen and get hurt again,I wont waste my breathe

because

I feel so angry

I feel so mad

I feel so pissed

I feel so depressed

I feel so dissapointed

I feel so hurt

I feel so lost

I feel so speechless

Nevermind I'm just having a bad week thats all.

2009-07-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

have a fucking nice day,because I aint having much

keep your head still,I'll be your thrill

2009-06-25T19:03:00.000+08:00

Well as you all can guess,schools back open but I feel as hell for some odd reason. Doctor said the symptoms I had lately might be similar to asmathic people. Didnt want to agree with him so I got cough syrup and what nots.

Anyway school has been fun and I can say this,Afiq is a great guy to hang around with :D

anyway heres some camwhoring pictures enjoy :)

sial la kiter brutal brudda
say what?
"THE D*** WHEN WHERE?"
"ELLOOS"
Eddie: stop digging my nose,it tickles

Afiq: NEVER

she's been having a bad month,poor her :(

picture I took while walking with afiq to the mosq.awesome right?

all for now people :)

nobody knows

2009-06-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

"Nobody Knows"

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows
No no no no no no

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
Me

"I may not know your problems.

I may not know what your dealing with.

I may not know what's it like being in your shoes.

I may not know all the answers for all the questions you ask me.

But I do know this

I'll keep your secrets safe with me till your ready to tell the whole world.

I'll be by your side every time you need someone to tell you it'd get better one way or another

I'll try my best to bring you somewhere far away from this mess.

I'll make sure you'll smile whenever your with me

I wont care if your Malay,Chinese,Indian.Muslim,Christian,Hindu,Buddhist or Atheist

I'm not perfect,no one is but I will try my best.

I know I might be used up in the end.

I know I'll feel tired and might wonder if what I did was justible.

I know I'll never regret it.

Lean on me.

If you feel like you can depend on no one.

Depend on me."

Because everyone I know is feeling down and as if their life sucks like hell and want to end it.

To whoever is reading this.Have faith and believe.Even if its not me,find someone who will

night everyone

I'm angry

2009-06-21T19:28:00.000+08:00

I have totally no mood to blog about the trip to KL.

I'm pissed

I'm angry

I'm disappointed

I was worried

I was speechless

but it seems that what I told you fell of deaf ears.

the odd thing is I'm not angry that you got caught or was involved in that incident

I was worried if your ok.

I dont think my concerns would ever reach you though.

I was helpless I didnt know what happened to you till an hour ago.

I feel horrible.

and why do i feel as if I'm an item for people to use not need? I dont know.

I hate the feeling.

I hate hate hate it.

nites everyone

BBQ

2009-06-13T21:55:00.000+08:00

heyyooo! Last blog entry before I leave for KL.Buwahaha I hope you miss me bitch >:D. Anyways the bbq was tons of fun though not much turn up for the bbq and I ended up spending $100.WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO SPEND WITH WITHOUT MY EFFING MONEY. haha anyway lifes been fun.Umm ayid's friends came in and we had a laugh till dawn break which ironically I missed it. No I wasnt drunk. I was though smoking a whole pack of reds through the night with bad side effects now :(

I swear the trips I've had lately seems like wasted trips. I went to costakist to collect a cheque and guess what,it wasnt ready. Went to NTUC at TM today and there were no epok-epok.WTF.

Nevermind. I dont know,dont feel like blogging much this week haha.I'll just leave you all with photos.
Enjoy :)

Eddie: :X

Faizen:RAWR
Eddie: GEEE

Faizen:teeheee
I cant get enough of this loud mouth raawr
Kas: Study study study
Hafiz : And the cow jump OVER the moon

Afiq : OOHH

Afiq : Nah epic MH
Ayid: Do you think I'm sexy?
Eddie: hmmm..balik nak buat aper ah

Ayid:Am I touching him no?
Ayid: Beb,whacga doing?

Eddie:Posing
Hafiz: The way you shake it.I cant believe it.
Kas: So..
Eddie:Stone nampak

Kas: Tengah concentrate nak amik milo laa.Dont disturb
Afiq : And then she said "yeah right" And I was like whatever
Stole from JY's blog.Please dont kill me~

JY&LJ
JY&Myzza
Eddie&JY
JY&Preston
Eddie:Is it done yet?

Wee Chong:We just set the fire
Ayid,Myzza,Marieta& LJ
Jinhao looking cool.Worked
JY&Marieta
JY&Jamin
Jy&Ayid
Marieta:Orange juice ish good
Myzza:CAAAK

Marieta:JUUUIICCEEE
Myzza: OII dont take laa
Ayid:Who needs studies when you have a body like mine!
Eddie: Cmon show your face

Marieta: Dont want!
Preston: And thats when I flashed it
The pit master.All hail his awesome-ness
*most of the convo inside are not true.they were made up so that the readers could have a good laugh*

anyway nights all :)

maybe

2009-06-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

I really miss my bff.

I want to tell her I'm sorry for making her feel so aweful inside.

I want to listen to her complains or what she wants to buy.

I miss the part where she says " I wanna play pool".

I still want to be there for her like I promised her almost everyday.

"I'll be cheering for you all the way at the back" I'd always say

I never want to hear you say sorry so many times

Who knew I'd make such a great impact on you

I didnt.

I admit I'm at fault.

I really do want to put our differences asside

I really want to pick up those pieces but would it be enough?

If I added you back on msn,my blog and facebook would we be acting like nothing happened?

Should I call or text?

maybe talk on msn?

I really dont want to lose a friend like you

seriously I dont.

I'm really really speechless right now

I need some rest I suppose,stupid fever.

nights everyone

unwell

2009-06-07T23:46:00.000+08:00

"Hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be "

My fever is running bad.I cant hear anything.

My head is drowsy.Im sweating like mad.I cant smell I cant taste.

My coughing makes me taste nothing but blood.I hate this feeling.

I need a break,from everything before its too late.I need to stop everything.urgh

ps.if I whispered your name,would you notice that I'm gone?

falling slowly

2009-06-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

TEST ARE EFFINGLY OVER!god I had to let that out.Holidays are here woohooo! god I have nothing on from now till 14 so wont anyone drag me out :(? afiq! kas! biler mau gi jamming hah? I wanna sing again man :D let it rain buwahahaha.Anyway heres a song from the movie "Once" called falling slowly by glen hansard.Awesome song enjoy yeah?

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

p.s. somewhere between all our laughs,long talks,stupid little fights and all our jokes,I fell in love..

eh random blog

2009-06-01T00:40:00.000+08:00

Cant sleep.blog hopping.found effing sweet song from suhaimi's blog.its called like a knife by secondhand serenade.probs to suhaimi.

I dream a lot, I know you say
I've got to get away.
"The world is not yours for the taking"
Is all you ever say.
I know I'm not the best for you,
But promise that you'll stay.
Cause if I watch you go,
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.
These streets are filled with memories
Both perfect and in pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I'm the only one to blame.

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words they have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me,
Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.

Cause today, you walked out of my life
(Stay with me, or watch me bleed)
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
(I need you just to breathe.)
I'm not living this life

night,morning whatever you call it

see ya tmr or whenever I blog

photo updates

2009-05-31T01:32:00.000+08:00

Heyyo people,I just realised I got bajillion photos to blog about so might as well post it now.Anyway a few updates before I go to bed eh,monday to tues is my term tests,I got the big ass letter from Ministry of Defence,umm going away from the 14 to the 18 which is a week bahaha and I bought 3 sets of topman which is approved from kas.If its approved from kas,your not a mat :D

bla bla bla enjoy the photos aites

s'not that I'm acting cool,My eyes get small when I dont wear specs at night D:

please ignore the fact that I look that a complete retard.Instead look into Nad's big eyes bahaha :3

even with a candid shot she has the ability to pose -____- dont ask
Eddie: They stole mah muffin

Ayid: Jazzy hands,Jazzy hands

Bubu:Fishy fishy

Riyas:hmmm..I must look good

Jing Yi: Just keep smiling again

Hafiz:Jyeaah
old pic :X
If any one says they hate each other,I'd beg to differ wit my fist.They cant stand appart from each other from a min.so sweet :P
This is Suzie,My bro loves her alot
This guy,is my bro
Again,please ignore the fact that I look retarded.Just look at the 3 angels behind me ok alrd
Hafiz: Need sleep..

Eddie: I'm not a smoker,see how white mah teeth are D:

Riyas:Wuuussaaaap :X

Afiq:why my face arh half gone arh

Kas: Aku cute :)

Jing Yi: must..keep..smiling

Bubu: Did we take tthe photo alrd?oh snape.Must smile ah?
Riyas:Son,what are you doing

Eddie:Cam whoring

Riyas:Ohhh
Hafiz:I am soo cute,just like that

Bubu:HAAAIP :3

Jing yi: Caaak

Eddie: wheres the other 4 again?
Jing Yi:RAWR

Eddie: NYAAA~

Riyas: Damn I look hawt

Bubu: umm ok...-steps back- XD

Mom: Smile now?dang I missed it

Eddie: I know,I love you too mom
Ayah: Oh satay oh satay maner la kau satay~
Eddie:woi u sleeping arh

Riyas:Meditation before my flight son
Hafiz:Need my need for speed now..
Afiq: :O

Eddie :O
Ayid : Cute tak I?Letak pat facebook la sia

Eddie: I feel cool

Jing Yi : Fishy fishy :3
Bubu: Eddie,your beanie to big lurh
Jing yi: :X

Riyas: uh huh,uh huh,yeah good luck with that

anyway guys imma crash in now,kinda late.See ya when I see ya aites :D

To whoever it may concern

2009-05-28T20:47:00.000+08:00

Clark & Lana - Far Away by Nickelback - The top video clips of the week are here

"This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go"

Right now you hate my guts.I deleted you from my facebook,msn and removed you from my blog.You called me the utmost cruel creature you've met and a petty one at that.You called me immature and asked me to grow up.Your dissapointed at me.Your angry at me that I never fought back.You have all right reasons to.

but what do you know about being grown up?Do you understand responsibility? do you know how it feel to bear responsibility for everything eventhough it isnt yours to hold in the first place?Do you know the meaning of sacrifice?When other boys where having fun with their father during the weekend I had to follow my mother and learnt how to take care of a wedding event. What do you know about growing up? What do you about being mature and saying no.What do you know about backing down eventhough you know you have every right to speak your mind?What do you know about me?Do you know I had to admit that my father was useless.Do you know I had to loose every friend I knew because I had to juggle between family,cca and work in the past.

What?I might not know all of your problems but do you even know what its like being me? You said that we were best friends forever? What kind of friend says "make an appointment" to a person who've been asking you out for nearly a month.Are you such a big shot that I have to make an "appointment"?

Do you know whats it like for me to defend you when the rest of my friends say I shouldnt bother bout you.You were the greatest friend I ever had.You were the one who got me addicted to facebook and layan me till 3 am in the morning.I could state everything great about you but you only noticed that I'm gone after nearly a month.

You post those things on the blog?What if I didnt read them like I did.

You think just because I deleted off your contacts means I forgotten bout you?I visit your blog everyday just to make sure your o.k. I thought if I removed any contacts with you you'd be happier not seeing a douchebag like me. You need not care about an annoying person like me.

But if you really treasured the friendships we had you would have atleast the decency of texting me why I'm acting like this not complain how much of an asshole I am on your blog.

I wanted to give you space but those words you say a month a go hurt like hell. I might be childish but I have my reasons.If you knew why you wouldnt be saying that too.

Urgh,school term is almost over.Cant believe it man,happened so fast.Meh time flies when your having fun I suppose.Anyway gonna be busy haaah.cant wait till the tests are over then can finally get some good shut eyes and wake up at 11.

p.s.I recieved a big assed letter from Mindef.

nites everyone

I'd come for you

2009-05-26T00:39:00.000+08:00

Just one more moment,
Thats all that's needed,
Like wounded soldiers,
In need of healing
Time to be honest
This time I'm bleeding
Please don't dwell on it
'Cause I didn't mean it

I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground,
But it doesnt matter 'cause I made it up forgive me now
Everyday I spent away my souls inside out
Gotta be some way that I can make it up to you now, somehow

By now you know that,
I'd come for you,
No one but you,
Yes I'd come for you,
But only if you told me to,
And I'd fight for you,
I'd lie its true,
Give my life for you,
You know I'd always come for you

-nickelback,I'd come for you

projects are almost done.what cant be done,leave it to that I suppose.

on a personal note,Everyone knows that some time,you can never fill in those gaps in someone else's heart no matter how much you really want to nor get someone to fill that spot in but I want to try.I keep telling myself I want to be there not just because of a small crush or maybe the person is rich or the person is cool.But to be there just for that cause of being there.Oddly I feel as if I'm distancing myself away.I feel as if you cant be bothered with me,so why should I be bothered back?Its bloody annoying dammit,stupid principles are clashing with each other.What to do,what to do.I suppose I havta keep my mind occupied till things are settle down again or alteast I feel that it is settle down.No pressure.haha.

anyway look up the song nickelback-I'd always come for you.Youtube and metacafe dont have it or is having a hard time loading it for me right now so just search the song.It has a feel good vibe in it I promise.

Nites people :P

btw,should I cut my hair?

missing you,missing me

2009-05-25T00:32:00.000+08:00

" No matter what I do,

All I think about is you,
even when I'm with my boo,
Ya know I'm crazy over you

Uh-uh-uh-uh
I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me
And(uh) she got the hots for me, the finest thing my hood has seen
But oh, no, no, she's got a man and a son doh'ohh
But that's o.k. cause I, wait for my cue and just listen, play my position like
a short stop, pick up everything mommy hittin

And in no time, i'm gonna make this friend mine
And that's for sure
Cause I, I've never been the type to break-up a happy home
But(uh) somethin' bout baby gurl, I just can't leave alone
So tell me ma what's it gonna be she said
You don't know what you mean to me"

god I miss someone like hell now D:

urgh..dont know what to say.bloody projects are a pain in the ass

I'll feel better tmr.

I'll feel even greater if I saw her smile because I made her smile.

urgh.

someone just shoot me

When love knocks you down

2009-05-19T23:52:00.001+08:00

Oh god,flu is gone but I feel waayy drowzy.I blame those headache painkillers.I'm scared their back again.didnt go to school.Couldnt even move my butt out of bed.Crappers much?anyway This song is waaay addictive so Imma post it up.Enjoy everyone as I flop onto my bed :D

nights

Knock you down - Kerli Hilson feat Kanye West,Ne-Yo

Heh, not again
Ohh, this ain't supposed to happen to me

Keep rockin', and keep knockin'
Whether you Louis Vuitton it up or Reebokin'
You see the hate, that they're servin' on a platter
So what we gon' have, dessert or disaster?

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in, and knocked me on my face
Feels like in I'm a race
But I already won first place

I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did
(As hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinkin' bout our life our house and kids, yeah
Every mornin' I look at you and smile
'Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down
Knocked me down

Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)

I never thought I'd, hear myself say, ooh, ya'll gon' head
I think I'm gonna kick it wit my girl today, kick it wit my girl today
I used to be commander and chief
Of my pimp ship flyin' high, flyin' high)
Til I met this pretty little missile that shot me out the sky
(Oh shot me out the sky)

Hey, now I'm crashing, don't know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could back, and make it happen faster
Don't you know I would baby if I could
Miss Independent, ohh, to the fullest, the load never too much
She helpin' me pull it
She shot the bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight
Girl sometimes love

Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)

Tell me now can you make it past your Caspers
So we can finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams that
Seem to only date the head of football teams
And I was the class clown that, always kept you laughin'

We, were never meant to be baby we just happen
So please, don't mess up the trick, hey young world I'm the new slick rick
They say I move too quick, but we can't let the moment pass us
Let the hourglass pass right into ashes

Let the wind blow the ash right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
How could a goddess ask, someone that's only average
For advice, OMG, you listen to that bitch?
Whoa, it's me, baby this is tragic
'Cause we had it, we was magic

I was flyin', now I'm crashin'
This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
Now I'm mad, real mad, Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I'mma ask him

Say you gotta put the good with the bad, happy and the sad
So will u bring a better future than I had in the past
Oh Cause, I don't wanna make the same mistakes I did
I don't wanna fall back on my face again
Whoa, whoa, I'll admit it, I was scared to answer love's call
Whoa, whoa, and if it hits better make it worth the fall
(When it comes around)

Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)

Won't see it coming when it happens, hey
But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love knocks you down

Won't see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love knocks you down
Yeah

He lost his soul

2009-05-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

For once,can anyone not rub their correct answers in my face.Pull down the things that I believe in.For once cant you guys just let me be me.I'm sick of smiling.I dont wanna see anyone right now,not even you.Why do I have to bear responsibility whenever things go bad.Why do I feel as if nothing has been done.Cant I just run away.

Fuck.Someone just shoot me awake.

Unhearted

2009-05-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

Photograph each day so we can live forever,.

Sit in the light to make the dark a little darker

and I dance to move only you

and I fight to kiss and make up.

I scream for some silence.

I laugh to laugh for once

, not there so you notice I'm gone

and I breathe cuz its neccessary

and I sigh when I see the moon.

I dream to make sleep less boring..

until there was you and I feel in the absence of heart

and I plug my eyes to cry.

I'm a hopeless romantic and

kicking the habit but all hearts have darts.

Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me.

You marked your name but I can see, its not on me.

So I've shamelessly gone and made myself come undone.
Heavy hangs my head when I'm Unhearted.

I wear this angels crown to cover up my devils frown

and upon my broken chest lay a struggle between loneliness

and things that are out of place like my head in outer space

and the carpet you walked on the ceiling that cries please don't walk away

Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me.

You marked your name but I can see, its not on me.

So I've shamelessly gone and made myself come undone.
Heavy hangs my head when I'm Unhearted.

Bellow it out with all the breath in my lungs.

Apologize for all that I've done.

You did a number on me and a fantastic job.

In the scheme of all things we never felt.

When your hearts been breached and your guards been let down;

You've rotten and spoiled me into the ground and a good mess forgives all the rest we allow ..

Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me.

You marked your name but I can see, its not on me.

So I've shamelessly gone and made myself come undone.
Heavy hangs my head when I'm Unhearted

Sweet red cherry blossom tree that lives in both you and me.

You marked your name but I can see, its not on me.

So I've shamelessly gone and made myself come undone.
Heavy hangs my head when I'm Unhearted...

Sweet red cherry blossom tree
that lives in both you and me

So many things happened.O'm damn surprised I didnt break under pressure.Might be because of these new awesome friends I have.I'd do anything to make them smile.I really would. hahax

Thinking and missing makes me unable to sleep at night.Damn..

anyway imma try counting sheeps.Go enjoy the song aites

I'd be here

2009-05-11T22:03:00.000+08:00

"Sat by the steps of the stairs and took out a stick.Eyes glazed,my thoughts trailed one after the other.Just when I thought everything was going to be ok,I felt as if I dropped and no one noticed.They did though,but their voice became muffled over time.I couldnt bother with anyone or anything.I felt like going away,far far away so no one knew me and no one would bother why I was is such a state.Then it hit me,once I miss my family & friends,how do I go back?At that point I felt pathetic.Useless but I couldnt tell anyone.I just cant.Its just a mood swing I keep telling myself.

I hear those worried questions but I couldnt smile.only lie."I'm ok" I repeated it.

Your'e just another person,why do you affect me so much? I dont understand.I looked down at m shoes and looked up.I stubbed the cigg and walked out the door.Eyes still glazed but smiling."

I have seriously no mood to blog.none to draw.I feel tired and pissed.Yet dissapointed.I dont know why.It might be due to the lack of sleep.Maybe.Schools getting a little bit harder since deadlines are getting close.hahax anyway imma off to bed.just blogged so you guys know I'm not dead yet.

ps.Dora,you told me I was a stranger once.You said your breaking down.Now I'm telling you for the 20th time I'd keep you smiling.Its if you need me or not.I could tell you what to do and not to do but I dont think your'e the sort who'd believe me even if I did tell you.Please,you gotta take it down a notch.

It hurts me to see you like that,crying,feeling pathetic.I really dont want to lose another friend,someone like you.You dont know what you mean to me

2009-05-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

"eddie:zomg

jing yi:whatever"

Eddie:Nad,Nad,NadNad...

Nad:Wut?

Eddie:hungreehh

Nad:Zomg!

Eddie:I've been kidnapped.Helps!

Ayid:All your base belongs to me

Afiq:digging your nose I see

eddie:Dont disturb

Eddie:ERIC STOP HUMPING ME!

Eric:teehee

Jeremy:I cant see me

Jing Yi: -Just Keep Smiling-

Nad: Eh take picture

Eddie:I look retarded

Afiq:EH CAK!BUAT APER ARH?!

Eddie:I told you I cant smile

Nad:pffts

LJ:Fishy Fishy

Eddie:You stole my look

Riyas:Hand off their mine.MINE I TELLS YA

Riyas: Good lord my tummy..fries..urgh

Afiq: Digging your nose is awesome

Nad: Fishy fishy

Eddie:I look like a gorrilla

Hafiz:omnomnomnom

Eddie:Donut and I will rule the world.You'll see

~theres the pics i promise.now go laugh one corner

ps.silly girl,theres nothing be fraid of kay?your cheeks are mine

silly girl lit up my day and i'm still smiling inside

2009-05-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

I followed this silly girl with her friend to the bus stop on a monday,I put my default face on since she was talking to her friend and i had my psp..which cracked the next day ;(.anyway at the interchange I decided I couldnt follow her to popular like I wanted to since it was late so I waved a small goodbye.

what happened next made me smile the whole week long inside.

The silly girl texted me 20 mins later said she was sorry.

I asked her what for

she said for making me sad.

at that point I didnt know either to knock her on the head for being damn silly or just give her a hug(which i never do give to people) for caring.

Silly girl made me smile.

I'm going to make her smile too.

nites people

so long and good night

2009-05-03T00:47:00.000+08:00

Gotta admit I've been a douche.My intentions I swear was good.I tried to make it to a time when we both can meet but it seems like it wouldnt have worked out anyway.I really wanted to ask you out because after that I wouldnt be seeing your face anymore.Best bets 5 months down the road you wouldnt recognise me anymore.I wanted to make u smile,least for the last time.Its not about me not growing up,its about me dont wanting to grow up just for a day.Fuck,I'd be too busy to say "hi" let alone give u a text.I wanted to make a point to turn back the days where we goof off,just one day.My intentions were suppose to be good but if it made you upset then I'm sorry.At a point of time you ment the whole world to me,right now,nothing much.Nothing much to hold on to anyway.You'd probably be cursing my name by now but seriously I dont give a fuck.Not even when you'd call my full name.

If growing up means leaving a part of me behind,then I'd say so long and good night.Nothing fancy,nothing dramatic.Just so long and good night.

These Silent Scream

2009-04-27T20:39:00.000+08:00

"Within that 10 seconds,I felt as if every bit of my was being thrown away with a cough.I was breathless.I was scared.What if that was my breathe?Have I done anything great enough to leave an impression in others?

My Mentality was being to shatter as my body did.But it wasn't only my body and mind that was shattering,my entire life and those around it too.My Family.If Everyone lived their own world who'd care for the others.

At this point I felt like a hypocrite,I helped others but what did I do for my family.Everything I know was breaking apart.

I thought that I had enough swallowing my pride thats why I'd ignore others pleas but then it struck me.What is pride?Cant you be proud that you help others.Cant you be proud that you made others laugh and smile.I might be smiling genuinely but wouldnt a fake smile comfort others just as much as a real one?

All i know was I have to pick myself up slowly and move slowly.I have to accept that I've fallen down.All i need now is to pick myself up and do it with a smile.I dont mind if i'm gonna be called crazy.

I made my way towards my bed and stared at the mural I painted as I laid my head to rest.There was only one question I havent answered myself yet."Would my Novacaine be the result of my timely downfall..."-anon

Sorry for not updating,too busy enjoying school life,dragging lappy to school,picking my nose,knocking syimah on her head,annoying ayie at his work place,making new friends and goof off,skipping and prancing down the lab hall,learning how to do web page designs and stuff,trying to get this lady's attention,righting old wrongs and of course sleeping in the weeee hours.

Anyway my class is super duper fun.Having great laughs with them.Its really weird how easy we can bond though.I have a feeling that jingyi is mind controlling the other classmates -shifty eyes-.

Tp is really like a work place though,you have to apply for everything u need,mc,leave and even the study room =__=But the whole place is awesome.Freedom there is freaky I can say since I'm a guy of discipline -coughcough-

heres some random convo between me and my friends ;
Eddie:(mostly)Everyone forgot mine (birthday) a long time ago so i dont bother bout it
Syimah: -.- dude,youre insane or something.I think we have an emergency
Eddie:.....
~
Anyway I'd upload pictures once i feel like it so toodle loo <3
and someone drag me out to play billard pleeeaase?

bored

2009-04-03T16:50:00.000+08:00

Family,brothers&lovers

So proud of this lil mutha fucker.He's got a long way to go but he's getting there.He might be stepping on lions tail,but I'll be the one grabbing its jaws to live another day.

Anyways I have my own debit card!weeweet!best nyer.Dad wanted to go to the bank before Friday prayers to update his bank book thats when I decided to make my very own account.Go-Card.Pretty awesome.Its like a debit card/ATM card..I'm talking too much bout this -suspicious stare-

After all the hoo-haas were finish,we were late for prayers =____=
who'd guess?pffts.
Wanted to meet Ayie at work but he wasnt there.Mutha fucker =____=
Dad made some freaking jokes about the girls in FBT.He called em air-con pants.get my drift?
Got home after bought a lightbulb which didnt fit into the screw in the end.sheesh now i gotta go out and buy a new one...troublesome i tellsya

not gonna say anything else personal though.Not in the mood.
So anyway catch ya all on the flipside

quizzes

2009-04-01T15:17:00.000+08:00

To get my mind off things I decided to do a bunch of quizzes on blogthings.Here's all of wht i got

You Are Affectionate

Your life is full of love and friendship - and you always have more to give.

You have an open heart. You are willing to take that leap and put your faith in people.

You see the good in everyone and everything. You are a very sympathetic person.

The people you love make you very happy. You feel warmly toward those around you.

What Kind of Happy Are You?

You Would Win Best Director

You are a mastermind with a great plan. You can visualize what you want in life.

You are good at leading people and helping them do what you want. You are an excellent coach and teacher.

You are a hard worker, and you're willing to see a project to completion - no matter how difficult it gets.

You have the both capacity and drive to be an amazing director. Most importantly, you have the vision that's needed.

What Would You Win an Oscar For?

Your Valentine's Day Personality is Heartbroken

Valentine's Day is something you could potentially enjoy, but not this year.

It just brings up too many bad feelings and memories for you right now.

That's the problem with Valentine's Day. It's a double edged sword.

The better it feels when you're in a couple, the worse it feels when you're single.

What's Your Valentine's Day Personality?

You Attract a Capricorn

When down to earth, responsible, loyal Capricorn meet you, they've met their match.

You are as ethical as Capricorn, and they respect your values

You are also able to be a loyal and caring partner to your Capricorn, even when times are tough.

You are there to cheer up or motivate your Capricorn - which never goes unappreciated.

What Sign Do You Attract?

-cough-anycapriconhere-cough-

You Would Be a Good Spouse 85% of the Time

You have what it takes to be an amazing wife or husband.

You are caring, patient, giving, and romantic. You are willing to work for a marriage.

More than anything, you're not about to let your ego ruin a relationship.

You are humble and unselfish. And that's the key to being a good spouse.

Would You Be a Good Wife or Husband?

You Are 45% Kissable

Believe it or not, you are generally not very kissable.

Someone who loves you may be able to kiss you anyway, but it could be more enjoyable.

Make sure you have the freshest breath and whitest teeth possible.

And relax a little! If you seem confident and healthy, you will get kissed a lot more.

How Kissable Are You?

so I'm a smoker,I'll just find someone who smokes too..buwahahaha X]

Your Height Says You're Daring

You are a true adventurer, and you live for the thrill.

You have a lot of charisma, and you're good at convincing people to join you in your schemes.

You are open to the world, and you make connections easily. You have lots of friends.

You are likely to have many life paths to choose from. There are many possibilities open to you.

You are about as tall as the average British man.

What Does Your Height Say About You?

You Are Demure Sexy

You are sexy because you are reserved. You keep most of your passion hidden.

In truth, you are a very sensual and sexual person. But you mostly keep this to yourself.

You are secretly very interested in sex and very open minded. You definitely have a wild side most people don't know about.

You are comfortable with every aspect of your sexuality... but you don't flaunt it.

When you're finally alone with someone you trust, it's like flipping a switch.

You're sexually savvy, exciting, adventurous, and carefree. No one would ever guess it!

What's Sexy About Your Name?

did not know that..I swear

You Are Kidnapping

You love to be in control. You are incredibly dominant.

A part of you even likes to make people suffer. It's all about power!

You love to take risks, especially if the potential payoff is huge.

But you wouldn't be in crime only for the money. You're twisted enough to just enjoy screwing with people.

What Felony Are You?

oooo~rope~

You Are an Eyebrow Piercing

You are unique, quirky, and more than a little eccentric.

You cultivate the weirder sides of your personality, and you don't mind sharing them.

Ever since you were a kid, you've had strong opinions. You've never been like everyone else, and you're okay with that.

And you've always been able to tell people exactly what you think - even when they don't want to hear it.

You love to create, dream, imagine, and communicate. You live in your own universe.

And unlike most people who live in their own little world, you're happy to invite anyone in!

What Piercing Are You?

I always thought i was a eye raiser..geddit?

anyways thats all I have fer ya
Take Care aites?
see ya soon