awww

Mood : The kind that makes you go "aww"
Song : Plain White T's - Hey there Delailah
After reading a post by Nisha yesterday night,I only could go "aww".Here's an excerpt from her blog: " never really noticed it till now. I mean the whole 4 years, he comes in every picture of my crisis as the confidant. Its kinda weird i should say, since we dont talk muchh in school like we used to when we were 13. but his always there when im down"

I swear i didnt realise I was there for her so many times. No wonder people say I'm clueless.but its great having Nisha as a friend.Yeahh we dont hang out but it doesnt mean we're not friends.haha.She's one of the few people who remind me who I am and it feels great =D.
oh yeah I'm looking for a study buddy whose damn tight because I need to study much more often so I posted something on msn.this is what nisha sent me:
no.I had no intentions of replying her pm I swear =P.

anyways i has a swollen toe and wont be back to school till Wednesday.yeah.it sucks.Imagine limping to the doc or down to get some grub.pathetic. Not to worry I'll get better by the end of the week..or so..
anyway theres a quiz I've been dieing to do since i saw nisha's blog and here it is

a) Answer the questions below, do a google image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, do it with minimal words of explanation.

1. The age you’ll be on your next birthday: Seventeen
2) A place you’d like to travel to: Australia
3) Your favourite place: Theme parks - till i get bored anyway

4) Your favourite food/drink: McSpicy,

5) Your favourite pet: Cats

6) Your favourite colour combination: Red and Black.

7) Your favourite piece of clothing: Billabong

8 ) Your all time favourite song: Nelly feat Kelly - Delima/Eminem - Mocking bird

9) Your favourite TV show: Bleach

10) Full name of your significant other: Fiona Xie
11) The town in which you live: Tampines.
12) Your screenname/nickname: Valentine
13) Your first job: Caterer guy
14) Your dream job: Owning a cafe

15) A bad habit you have: Short attention span
16) Your worst fear: ALLAH
17) The one thing you’ll like to do before you die: Coming back home and spend time with my family18 ) The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000: Be like Bruce Wayne

ps:find how many times i said "nisha".winner gets a lollipop

friends

Mood: upbeat
Song: The Click 5 - Good Day
Nelly - Party People

its really Amazing how friends can cheer you up.From cursing the day light and cheapskates early morning on a monday,it was my friends who made me smile.It was great.On tuesday,went studying with pamela and chin siang.Gosh the jokes!it was awesome to be around them.I'm getting used to fairus and wee kiat these days.I swear fairus loved to pick on me when i was sec 2 while wee kiat wanted a fight.Now we're good friends.
haha its awesome how things have changed.it feels great.
Schools a killa these days.those who know knows.
I'm happy I didnt give up at the last moment.I'm greatful.

oh crap!!
oh crude
look what things have become
it might be rude
but I think I fell with you
I know we're opposites
i swear we got nothing to say
we both have different friends
we both have different lifes
but believe me gal
I think I'm in love.
oh crap
oh crude
look what things have become

crying

I'm this close to crying
this close to giving up.this close of letting everything go;my mind,my health,my friends,myself.
I dont know why am I doing all this anymore..
i feel like a hypocrite.I hate myself.

anyone can tell me a reason I should carry on?

posers

Feeling: per normal
Song:Goo-Goo Dolls - Iris

I SMILE SO THAT PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL
dont you just hate posers?but who am I to judge?I f'cking bite

Ok so lets start of with a rather disheartening issue.Mr Poh,no, not the kung fu panda but my English and literature teacher is leaving the school for the second time.And prelims are so close.It doesnt matter to me though.He isnt dead.He wont be gone forever and I'll see him when I see him.Over this few months I've gotten to know him well and picked up pointers for myself as well.Always laughing the fellow =D.
Yes his leaving does sadden my heart and I bet a few as well so I'll bring up this matter:dramatising.I'm not one to judge but dont you think its way too far if you feel so upset about him leaving that you put a glum face?How can a person complain how sucky he is and yet feel so upset when he leaves.Better still,you feel offended when other people state the fact.Isnt that being a hypocrite?I maybe living "under a rock" but I think that definition is still the same. theres a saying;"you reap what you sow" or to put it easier " if you dont want people to ogle,dont wear revealing clothes" or another one is "ask a stupid question,get a stupid answer,do a stupid act,get a stupid respond".
But who am I to judge.I bet for every 1 mistake I point out to any of you,you guys can point out 2.hahaha.

2nd issue.Girls.Thy arent fat.You look beautiful the way you are.I am fat.If you physical state is like mine,then your fat.But I dont think that way.Each one of us are beautiful in there own way.

I feel insignificant.I can be in that person's same timetable and no one notices.I can cut my hair and change my shoes and heck change my bag to a grey coloured one and no one realises me.This is really sad at one point.I try to be somebody in school yet no one notices me when I keep quiet.but when I do talk people ask me to shut up.Am I such a "pimple" or an "extra" to the majority?I dont want to reveal every single part of my life to the public.I dont want them to know what I've seen.What I've heard.What my thoughts are.Ironically I prefer it to this way.I just want a group of friends to hang out with,someone to talk to and hug.Lead life to my fullest.
but still it would be best if someone just came up to me and said "HI wanna be best friends?"that would be spiffy.
anyway nights all
take care and much love

dont feel like chatting

Feeling : "dont bother"
Song: - Today is probably the longest day I ever experience as I only got no less of 2 hours of sleep from yesterday morning till now due to night shift work.All I wanted was a good swim and someone to have a good chat to this weekend.Yet both disappointed me greatly.
I sprained my left arm while swimming and when I got online,there was no one to talk to or atleast wants to talk to me.

So today has left me with a very unpleasant day..I just need a friend to count on I suppose.A real one..
nuff said.Tc

EMO!

Feeling: Abandoned

Song: The Killers - Mr. Brightside
Rihanna - Cry

A DATE WITH ME,MYSELF & I.
who said misery loves company? Hmm..Decided to watch "The Dark Knight" today so I asked around to see anyone was free and note to self,always ask 3 days in advance.That would be spiffy.Long story short,after finding a date,she didn't came or I didn't see her so I went to the movies myself.[for those interesting in my emotional blogging,it be later on in this post]

So..I went to Tampines Mall and got the 5,55 slot.haha yes they do have those sort of slots.I have something to say about this movie.Batman is freaking awesome.Emphasis on freaking and also awesome.The whole movie kept me on the edge of my seat.It actually made me feel as if I was watching it for 4 hours.No its not boring,its thaaat awesome.
However there were a lot of downside,which was actually influence by the main plot,which I dont really like,so little kiddies,this ain't a show for you.

But yeah the movie follows a lot from the actual plot.Building jumping,explosion and sadistic ideas.I cant tell you all the stories,well that would make me a wet blanket.Just go check it out.You wont regret it.

so anyway[here it comes]

I feel extremely sad.I dont know if you really wanted to go or something happened or just stood me up.It made me feel worse when I was right there,calling for you in front of your window,boy I looked like an idiot.I was already an idiot who just decided to say "hey lets go on a date" and didn't tell you what time we should meet.I decided to wait.and wait.and wait.I knew something like this was going to happen deep down in my mind but I just had to try.I wanted to sort it out.For once girl,you make me head over heels.For once I think I'm in love again but then I fall.
Yet I'm more worried then you feel that I stood you up instead of feeling that you stood me up.

I feel like crying now.I feel like a fool if I cry.I wonder why I hid all my pain away.
Is it because of my smile,people think I'm ok? Or is it because I want people to think I'm ok,I smile.I know clearly,I have a great home.A loving family.Awesome friends.A good life. But why do I feel as if I'm hollow inside.Its scary.I have everything I always wanted 2 years ago but now I feel so empty.

Maybe its how I look.Who wants to love a guy like me.Even I myself don't know who I am nor does the great internet.The internet which suppose to know everything.Try searching the definition of "Sabri" is either not listed or powerful people.My mum tells me its defined as patience and with patience breeds maturity.But am I that person.I dont know.
I need time to think..of did I have too much of time to think that I drifted far away from my goal?
Questions,no answer.

I feel like a DC superhero,just without the superpowers.

crap

mood: "darn it"
song : Yellowcard - Gifts & Curses

MIND GAMES..
holy crap

Ever woke up thinking " Do i have to go through all this again?".
I have.For the past few days I've been wondering what I've been doing all this time.Why does everything seem so familiar even though it has never occurred before.Is this a weird case of deja vu? or maybe it did happen before.Maybe thats why I feel so dog-gone tired this days.
Is it just a mind game?or is it the same thing repeating just on a different day?

I feel extremely low this past few weeks.I just dont know why.
I feel as if I'm a different person everywhere I go or hang out with my groups of friends.

I feel like screaming to everyone who looks down on me or nags.I want them to shut the hell up.
I know its wrong to do that but things are driving me crazy.

Never the less,I still wanna make people smile.Even if it involves myself.Maybe thats my downfall.Making people smile too much while involving me.
I dont bother.Making their day is much better then cursing how sucky my life is,its better then complaining how hard teenage life is.Its better then thinking all is lost.
ITS BETTER.

Maybe I should start drawing again.Well I'm off to see the doctor and have a freaking hair cut.
doodles.

"like the person because of his similarities, love the person for his differences."-quote from hellboy,the movie

until the day i die

Mood: -
song : Story Of The Year - Until The Day I Die

UNTIL THE DAY I DIE
hey guys here's a song recommendation for you to listen it freaking awesome haha
and p.s for those who are complaining why I dont put up my daily activities,I just dont see the need to put everything I see or say thats why I'm usually going to post up up coming (mis)events,song/music recommendation or when I'm being whiney and bitchy bcoz thats something everyone can relate to.Anywho enjoy the vid and song.Its worth it.=)
take care

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die

and they said

mood: bla-bla-bla
song: Paramore - Presure

GOSH MULI-TASKING IS HARD WORK.OH! THE PRESSURE.

Dont you ever get that feeling that everything,even the ones that you've planned out already,keeps pushing you.Nudging you every minute,every second till one point you just break down and curse?
Welcome to the life of a graduating student.Maybe a life of decision maker who's running out of time.Either one comes first.

Gosh.So many things can be running in my head yet still can be blank.Who knew?I feel so lethargic these days I cant figure out why.Maybe its because of my time table?My heavy bag?Lack of sleep?Something not clicking?
who knows.
anyway school's a riot in dullsville.
Anyway I'm at my best trying to change my lifestyle.I've stopped work well until the company really does need me.I'm planning to go swimming every Saturday and hitting the books on weekend afternoons.

How to save my sanity?I got myself a freaking headphone instead of a new earplug-piece and play habbo in the night.

If that doesnt work I'm not sure what will?
my power of will?
haha god knows
anywho,I better be off now.Its 12 am

nights all

uuurrg

mood : un pleased
song : nil

YES I HAVE FRECKING CHANGED MY BLOGSKIN

urgh..no matter how many times I change it,it doesnt seem to be nice
haiz i gotta find a better one or atleast re-do the skin
nuff said
happy weekends

ps~updated the links those whose link aint there tell me before the mood is over

i got shot

mood : ~!#$%#^% schools near
song : Peterpan - Di balik awam

!#@%$%^%$ I'VE BEEN SHOT.JOKING
well Aisyah hit me with a quiz thingy and its freaking rare that I've get hut by this and I rarely do
so i decided to do this A.S.A.P =P
here goes....

1. How long have you waited for someone you love?
- 2 years about so.i think..for one person right or average?i think its bout the same though.hahaha
2. What do you want to do right now?
- sleep.but guilt of not doing my homework lingers around me like a bad egg.
3. If there's a miracle, what will you long for?
- have body like john cena or something like that.
4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
- YES.they can be a-holes and airheads 55% of the time but I've grown towards them =)
5. Where do you wish to die?
- either in the arms of my loved one after a bloody fight or...on my deathbed at home.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
- Yeap.I dont see them no more though =( * Awwww* "Silence! I kill you"
7. What are the impossible things to do?
- to fucking lick your elbow or beat the living shit out of Venom from spiderman
8. IS there something which you wished never happened?
- yeap.I wont tell you though.You didnt ask what it was.only asked if there was ;P
9. Are you happy with your life now?
- a meh and bah here and there.about 75% happy.
10. What if your crush ask you out?
- I'd probably go..."wow.Spiffy" or " WHHHOOOOO"
11. What will you do when you feel bored?
- Disturb people. HAHAHA.
12. What feelings do you hate th most?
- Sadness..she's a whiney bitch
13. If you'll be separated from you love one(s) for a period
of time, what will be some things you'd tell them?
- See you soon or I'll be back.
14. What are you looking forward to this coming week?
- My Laptop

Instructions:
Tag 11 people, list them at the end of the post.
Notify them in their tagboard that they've been chosen.
Suhaimi
Stephanie
Karishma
Karan ( nah now you got something to blog about)
Azri
Fatin
Antricia

i dont know who else.
i'm not joking

nights

what I like about you

Mood : Aaaaaahhhhhhh..Aaaaaaaahhh(repeat 5x)
Song : Red Hot Chili Peppers - Tell me baby


5 THINGS THAT I LIKE/HATE ABOUT YOU



not gonna blab about how sucky this week is but.I'm gonna do something new.
its called "things I like/hate about you" to 5 people,my daily readers.Stephanie,Suhaimi,Karan,Yiling and a new reader,Jihan.so.. here goes.

STEPHANIE
1)MSN : I really hate it when you go offline or buzy for so long but when you come back it seems worth while =D
2)your lol : nuff said
3)Trust : I really hate it when it seems like you dont trust me but I know its for a good reason thats why I tell you my secrets.You dont tell no one.
4)You living in Jakarta : But if you didnt move we wouldnt know each other.
5)Your lips : I hate it when you frown but love it when you smile.

SUHAIMI
1)Our Friendship : its fucking bitter sweet,
2)Being around you : It taught me alot of things showed me different perspective.I dont hate nor like it that much.
3)Your language : From that,it defined me.nuff said.
4)A part of you is still well..troublesome : Because of that part it makes you mature but is also annoying.
5)Your long winded idealogy : it hurts everyone's brain but it also makes me think.

KARAN
1) You talking too much: Annoying but atleast it creates a good convo for us.
2) Your argumentative side : Its cute but annoying.
3) Your face : nuff said
4) Your Jokes : Its funny and stupid.

YILING
1) You are very blur : Its cute but repeating tons of time is tiring =S
2) Your " Ha?What?" : same as the above
3) Your very nice : No wonder guys rush after you
4) You love/care too much : it sweet but I hate it if you get hurt
5) Your smile : I dont hate it =P

lastly..

JIHAN
1) Your Random pop-ups : It sucks to wait for you to online but its a glee when you do.
2) MSN : Your replies can kill me but its worth the wait I think.It kills time.
3) When you dont talk to me : nuff said
4) When you act as if you dont know me : Its funny.
5) You being a meanie : Gives me a good laugh but wish you were a taaad bit nicer.=S

k done.off to bed now.tata.

flu

Mood : not so good
song : The Click 5 - Jenny


WITH GREAT FLU COMES GREAT HEADACHES.

thus said.URGH! my head is killing me.soo...no post for today
buh bye

-__-

mood: WEE~ and a ARGH!!!
song : 3 Doors Down - Its not my time

YES I DO UPDATE MY BLOG.
just not that often -___-
Its the 2nd week of the June holiday and I have done practically nothing.Yeap.nothing.
I did however get myself a paif of spiffy slipper or flopper.whichever you content with. and a new specs.Wow.
seems like I change specs every year.
I had chalet last week monday to weds and it made me totally forget about the rest of matters I had to attend to.
Which now caused me to be be in deep shit.
deep shit.
anyway the chalet well wasnt great as last year but alteast we had the space for many =D
oh yeah I had my 1st taunt all the way to wee 5.30 in the morn. I then woke up at 7.30 which seems totally pathetic.

I've made a realisation as well.Chinese girls love to wear short pant.The ones that can cover you butt and show your legs.Not that I'm gay or saying that its my problem but for those who dont have the height.stick with skirts or jeans.

I pretty much got nothing to do but blog.Even that I got forced into by someone.hahaha
oh well nuff said alrd and if you could,stop by my friendster.The links on the top of my profile.Testi or view i dont mind.haha

till next time =D

dead tired man

Mood : URGH!!!
Song : Ne Yo - Go on Girl

I.Am.Dead.Tired.Fuck.Yeah.
lol so many things happening cant catch my breathe only recently and gosh I feel so sleepy.

I took my Malay O's on monday ( 26th May) and gosh it was hard..Yeah I pretty much fail tons of mock exams..gotta study hard i suppose.I just realise that I havent been giving any song or video reviews so I decided to put all in on post.Hahah no its not make my post longer i swear =P
anyways chaios for now and SEE THE VIDS.Their worth the views


this side of paradise



plain white Ts - here there delilah


3 doors down - its not my time - one piece



One Piece AMV [ LuffyxNami ] - Until the day I die

and hell yes I'm a one piece freak
~peace

not in the mood.i found an old vid go see

photograph

Mood : WEEE~
Song : Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Dani California

Photos,Memories

hey guys!haha took a photo taking session on thurs and now I'm uploading
funny pics down there go take a look =D oh yeah,I may not be blogging for a few days(who bothers anyway)
due to some reasons,mock exam,medical probs and laziness but I've left new songs for you guys and dont forget to visit LICD if you havent

anyway enjoy =D


I ish looking suave!lols
Candid Shot from Azri -____-
Are We hot or are We hot =P

Some times..thats how syahrin laughs like..creepy or funny..I'm not sure =S

Can Be models right?haha Adam,eve and the bush!lols


Cak!


The Kids from 1e4 of 05


Gym Buddies =D


WARNING : Taking pictures with Azri may cause Retardation or Laziness.Precautions to be taken


Does it look like I and Su Give a fuck?maybe..we're not sure



"Sooo what you want?"
FUCK-FACE SHOT!

"Why does everything has to be so constipated?"
yeah i know i look retard..so does Su bahahaha


end

hows it hanging

song : Jonas Brothers - S.O.S
Chris Daughty -It Feels like tonight
Mood : "At least I'm smiling"

"because of you;
I feel the warmth i thought had left
Without you;
its becoming bleak,numb perhaps
Without you;
its tiring to smile or laugh at the simplest joke
when i speak to you;
everything that broke,shattered lost came back to me again
Oh how I love the feeling when i'm with you"

ahaha hello all.Yes.I AM NOT DEAD.amazing right?
guess how many times i tried to blog but couldnt?10 times..haha 10 times of going to blogger staring at the screen and couldnt think of anything to write..
haha so i'll just start of from the start.

I've finally stepped down from student council.the investiture was a huge event..Departments would do their skits will songs..and alot of cat walking.seriously in my year we didnt had such things..haha the were tears and such..I really dont know why their crying about though..haha its not that we're dead or something..lols

anyway theres a story wanna tell you all
its called
SABRI's BIG ADVENTURE TO THE CITY
so I had an assignment..to go take photos and I had a spiffy place in mind..somewhere at Raffles/Marina/the city.
At 12.30 i was off..thinking the esplanet was at Raffles city I took an MRT there..but apparently i thought I was at the wrong place so I smsed my cousin asking wheres the esplanet,at raffles or marina bay.He replied me telling me it was at Marina Bay.I then took an MRT there but all I found was a construction site

Once again I called up my cousin..apperently It is at Marina bay but you dont take the MRT there..you take a MRT to CITY HALL...darn..so after a 5 mins train ride and a 15-20 mins walk I finally reached Esplanet..I took tons of shots and got lost in the process..twice...hahaha
anywaythen I was off to Raffles Place..which is a mall.I kinda looked stupid going around girl's acessories.Why you ask?I was intenting to get Yi Ling and Fong Ee something..but I ean out of cash after having lunch..Bk is really expensive haha..who knew.. dont worry I'll make it up to you..
any all for knows..cant promise anyhing aha tatatas
btw..karan and steph and fatin and suhaimi rocks

eh hello

you gotta clicky the comic strip,thats just the preview

If you all are wondering what i've been up to recently,this well actually sums it all,I get bored and easily distracted easily.I'm trying my best to stay connected with my friends ,school is a mess though thats why i can get easily distracted =S.lols.
I'm slowing down work because of the O's and stuff.funny thing is lonely-ness is killing me..oh well i still have my random side.haha.

Today/yesterday was Izzats Bdae and it was rather funny at that..haha glad your 16 =D
Theres alot of things i rather not blog about because it isnt really nice to talk about.But alot of things change for the past few months and I'm learning to face it with a smile;even though I dont know shits..haha it scares people some times when you smile for no reason.

anyway i suppose that all for now i suppose,enjoy the comic courtesy of www.licd.com.cool website.

btw if i can I'll get a few photos of my work uniform aswell as my latest drawings and such.If its possible that is o0
haha nights

yawn

sorry guys,no music reference,no moods or whats so ever.I'm just gonna blog about why i'm not blogging as much these days.and the reason is I'm addicted to "God Of War"!!no just kidding.

I'm just really won out these few days and people around me dont seem to help.They put me down.I keep a smile on my face,they find another reason to put me down.

I think that I've explain in my previous post that i'm recovering from muscle stress or something like that..dunno what the doc calls it.

My weekend are really,well most of the time are busy.Its either work or school.I dont know who wants to hang out with me during the weekends but you do just tell me in advance so we can hang out.

and yes god dammit.I am tired,worn out and irritated/stress as the next guy.so for those who whine to me about every single fucking detail or show pms(i dont care weather your a guy or a girl)..unless its damn important to me,please..fuck off.

and yes btw,"god of war" rocks as much as pepsi.And i love pepsi alot.=)

Its Just that

Mood : "I cant be bothered" state
Song : Peterpan - mimpi sempurna

Its Just that

I love NP.I swear i do.The EXCOs who I've grown with for more then 3 years are more then friends to me.Their the only who can makes the terrible feeling in me gone for a moment.And in that moment gosh how i feel things should be like that forever.I just feel I've distant myself with the rest.I feel pathetic now days.And extra weight to the rest..I'll only slow them down like in the hike from ATC at Ubin to the port to Singapore or the 1st few days of campcraft training.Their at a higher level from me,every single one of them.I feel like the extra guy in every anime story or in movies.It makes me want to step up but in the other hand,i feel as if I cant go further.
gosh i have no mood to talk these few weeks..if you say i'm emo..I'm venting out my frustrations..

this is a short post but night anyways

i wont lie

Mood:Hurting
Song : 30 seconds to mars - hero
Coldplay - scientist
I'm sorry for not blogging like I did in the past or in the previous blog.I've been busy and tired.The usual crap but I have to admit something.
I've been having a series of headaches that would make my knees weak.Would make me cry.Would stop me in my tracks.I dont know weather anyone has experience something like this but it hurts.I'm not trying to be a whiny bitch but it does hurt.It goes on and off.Doesnt tell me what causes it and what stops it.Its also making my body do very weird things;shivering,cold sweat,breathing difficulty,heatyness and feeling light headed.some say its in my head.some say I need rest

I'm sorry that I've not been coming to school.
I'm sorry that I've not been attenting NPCC
I'm sorry that I've not been in my top form
but still,

I want to be at my best
I want to make people smile
I want to make the best at every outcome
I want to be at the top
I want to find someone to be with
I want to be an idol to someone
and

I'm trying to do my best
I'm trying to make people smile
I'm trying to change
I'm trying not to get involved with so many things
I'm trying not to be so obsessed being the odd one out
I'm trying my best to make it seem that everything is ok
I'm trying
but

the pain..it wont go away.Everything I do,everything I've done,everything that I've hope for is disappearing.I feel as if I'm fighting a losing battle.
The people around me,the dont seem to be helpful.Some mock on what I believe on,who I believed in.Some took a drastic change and become what I'd feared the most.Some are taunting me,trying to make me do things I would never do.

hahaha..its late,night all

oh how things have become

I'm worn out.
I'm tired.
All the bullshit you think I could handle are making my knees weak.
I just wanted to be there for someone
"Be a Hero"
but why did
alot of things changed
All I wanted to be there for someone
to have a friend
to have someone to love
Yet I feel so alone
It feels so dark
Its so scary
it makes me angry
saying things I wouldnt have said anymore
Doing things I wouldnt normally do
Its so scary
I dont even realise
that I've changed as well
but all I wanted was to be
a somebody
a hero
but now all I want is
to have someone to hold on to
to have someone to love to
to have someone to cry to
Why do I feel as if
everyone's burdens are on
my shoulders
though i'm not involved.
though I got nothing to do with it
though it seems to be such a small matter
why do I feel like such
am I too old for these?
but I'm still young
I dont get all of this..
maybe I'm just a retired Hero
so many things are in my head.
so so many things
nvm I'm tired..
I need sleep..
and maybe something else aswell
night

late update

bahaha I know its kind of..(is) late but what the heck.since everyone's been pestering me to blog i will then..so where do i start?sec 1 camp?

DAY |
i get to met my "thingies"..haha..very cute little bunch got all sorts.started of with making of the flag,manged to do it in time as well as going through some cheers and claps..later on was captain's ball..i think they've learned a value somewhere..i just cant remember =X anyways later it was dinner and then BLIND MAN'S TRAIL *dun dun dun...*and guess what?alot of kids nvr bring their blindfolds..how to be blind you tell me?so i and bunch of others went to the P.E room and brought out some old/havent been used shirts.There was nothing to cut with and I remembered I brought my jacknife with me in my pouch but stepharina insisted that she used it..hahaha lady always wins..
so later i brought my thingies up for blindman's trail..shant tell you any details..some very weird predicament but everyone(most of us) we safe and sound..but while we waited for the blindman's trail,Then all sections were to practice their campfire item for campfire night. after the blindmans's trail we had a meeting,washed up and went to sleep..and gosh music room is so cold =X

DAY ||
woke up at 5 am..reasons are iqbal flashed the flashlights into my eyes -_____- ...and a quick shower and went down for breakfast..bla after bla we went to Sentosa..Yet again i shant tell you the details but what i can say is Sentosa is very very nice =D and everyone came home safe of course*cough*after that was lunch..the muslim boys went for prayers..when we came back it ws indi something games..very very messy @_@..T'was field cooking after the mess..it rained so it got messier..
rocketh to the C.I's and C.I.CAK bros for cleaning the place up.after a few practice it was campfire..MR JAE CAME BACK!!but sadly campfire wasnt like it was like in the past =( nvm
a bla after a bla,had a meeting and then showered..decided to sleep with the np boys that night..the hall floor is even colder then the music room..BRRRR =X

DAY |||
woke up "early" to get ready for campcraft com..further details go check yi ling's blog hahaha..but I tell you this,we did well =) i hope
camp back to clear the mess we made and went home..T.K.Oed all the way..
thats all bah..nite2..