And she shot me down

Mood : empty
Song : Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang ! my baby shot me down"Do you remember when you were 5 and I was 6?
We would always play horses made out of sticks
The colours we wore,black and white
Can you remember the day I fought for you that night?
Remembered that church bells rang while the music played our favourite song?
Didnt you read the letter i left you in the old black jacket?
BANG BANG
Why did you have to shoot me down?"
Adapted from Nancy Sintra - Bang Bang,my darling shot me down
by sabri


I feel tired.weak.scared.confused.yearning for something.
so many thoughts running through my mind..responsibilities,friends,family my future,my heart.
School is near..so is O level.I wanna carry on working but its taking a toll on myself.I love NPCC but its taking up so many things.I'm not sure but I think someone likes me.ARGH!?Since when a bloody loser like me have someone liking me..cupid is playing a bad 5-year old joke.
Might doing a poetry on lady death.haha see if i got mood to type la..tmr is new year's eve!countdown ok?
tc all

and a merry christmas to all

mode : one of those nights u wanna stare at the ceiling thinking
song : aerosmith - I dont wanna miss a thing

ITS CHRISTMAS

so to all who are celebrating,I wish you a very merry Christmas .
i'm sorry but I'm not in a christmas mood.Reminiscing about old times with Chin Siang and got me thinking"Will my heart feel the same way to another like I did when I fell in love for the 1st time?"and then something came to my thoughts " What if I were too obsessed like I were a year ago?Woundnt I be abandoning my friends?"got me in quite a puzzle.So I decided to come what may and think before I act.

I want to work on dedication and commitment next year.Suhaimi told me its what I put my mind into will work for me but how much I practice it seems that it'd put me down.Lack of self-confidence?over-confident?or pressure?

I'll work it out one way.
I'm really sorry if its not long like usual..I got so much to say but so little to express with.I might be spouting nonsense.But I tell you something though.

I'm not giving up.not now not this far.I'll find away.
school's opening soon,you all take care now =)

my true love

mood: seen worst days

song : Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel

I'll Never Let You Fall,I'll be the First One To Catch your Tears I'll know you'll never love me the way I've loved you
but I wanna be one you can turn to,
pouring out the sorrows,
making you laugh when you dont want to
telling you that life's a bitch
Helping you decide weather he's the right one for you
I want to be the one whole you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on
I want to be your guardian angel
~by sabri

How can I say this in a simple term...yesterday while I was in training,my muscle totally froze and moving too much propably cause my ligaments in the thigh to tear..so basically..I'm crippled.

today however, I managed to limp all the way to the bus stop and downtown east to study with Aryani.apparently she has an over protective boyfriend..haha which guy isnt protective of their girl?Anyway had lunch at bk and bought some stuff to help me recover fast..proteins and stuff...

I'll tell you this though..limping one place to another is a bitch..darnit..Steph,who I miss chatting to badly,told me to get a wheelchair..so after much consideration I decided to use the office chair in my room as a wheelchair,Steph was right it is major fun to use.Haha..

I got to go now..very drowsy for once..take care now

To (my) Love

mood : a hmmm and a humm
song : Matchbox romance - tiger lily

To my Love

I round the original one in suhaimi's blog so just visit him and you'll find it.Dont ask,I just feel like editing it and posting it up here.enjoy

to my love

To my love,
May we stay away from it when it's nothing good to us....

To my love,
May we stay away from it when it hurts

To my love,
May we stay away from it whenever possible?

To my love,
Can I be there for you whenever you need me?

To my love,
Can you be there for me whenever I need you?

To my love,
can I smile at you saying it'd be alright even though I know the worst is yet to come

To my love,
will you smile at me saying it'd be alright even though you know the worst is yet to come?

To my love,
these questions about you never ends

To my love,
I wonder if you have the same questions about me to

To my love,
I'll gave you 11 real roses and 1fake one and ask if will you love me till the last one dies?

and
To love,
May we stay away from it when it's nothing good to us....

never ending sleep non stop tales listening misery

Mood:restless
Song :Coldplay - The Scientist

It's a Shame
I know I've been M.I.A for awhile now,just cant help it.I've become very sleepy now days and the ironic part its I cant nor subconsciously want to sleep at night which makes me rather tired in the day.Its just weird sleeping while hearing strange noises that u know arent possible to hear like a clock ticking but theirs no clock in bed room the rest are all silent and digital,hear the office chair in your room squeak as if someone is using/playing with it..Very disturbing..so yeah thats my reason for not blogging..too tired but if you really want to know whats been happening lately go to suhaimi and yiling's blog to check it out.

Its gonna be different without mr jae in Junyuan anymore.His tranfering to Singapore School of Arts.I could go on and on how much everyone will miss him and what he taught me over the years or no teacher could replace him but words are never enough when someone is going away.Seriously.


Blog hopping to a few blogs and it seems that a bit of love is in the air..haha but the thing is for who??the others lar..me??seriously who would love love me??friend love yes I'm a good friend but love love dunno hahaha..off topic haha.There are alot of things I still wanna type about alot of things and questions that are in my head but lazyness and a moody feeling cancel them off..soI think that's all for now..if I dont blog within 3 weeks take care now and I'm a good friend when in need..but my wallet is light if u know what I mean haha

ps: doesnt anyone have a extra copy of guitar heroes 2 or 3 on ps 2 or tell why the hell does my leg turns so cold as if theres no blood flowing while my body feels as if I'm running a fever??I need to know

You Caught me Off Guard

Mood:Smiling
Song listening :Boys like Girls - Hero Heroine / Coldplay - The Scientist

Nobody said it was Gonna be This HARD

Wow..hanging and goofing off with friends do cheer you up.though I wished I had my old friends with me as well.

I gotta go out more these days..all I do is sleep or play my psp.School is driving me nuts bit by bit..those who hang out with me will know.

but I cant go out much because my left knee is giving trouble to walk and I feel like limping some times.

Yes I would like some company but I dont think its the solution to all my problems.It probably help me kill time so I'll forget whats needed to be forgotten.

"When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likey turned your back on the world."

really makes you think doesnt it? night all

its killing me inside

Its killing meI'm feeling much better..I think..yet I can never sleep at night.

I'm too tired to wake,too awake to sleep

quote by Chin Siang..a real cool guy..I think that quote sums up everything..contradicts each other though..haha.

But there is something troubling me..I feel as if I'm distancing myself to the rest of the world-my friends,my family,myself.

I hate that feeling..

take care all

fight for all the wrong reasons

Mood: Better then the previous post
song listening: Nickelback : Fight for all the Wrong Reasons

I feel much better..and remember that I said I wanted to cancel everything for this past few days?allot of them did got cancel..due to some reasons..I couldnt go out to meeting today because there was a thunderstorm..my meeting tomorrow is canceled because there was a late notice of delivery work tomorrow..

I wanna find "The Pursuit of Happiness"its a wonderful story and movie..I almost teared when I saw the trailers on Cable and youtube.

other than that,I'd like you guys to view this vid and rate it!its a real well deserve amv..go see ok?

not in the mood

Mood : Still angry
Song listening : Alesana - congratulations, I hate you

Not In The Mood


still angry...'nuff said
and probably gonna cancel off everything

Final straw

mood: angry
song listening to : Red Hot Chili Peppers - I could have lied / Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under the Bridge
Thats the LAST STRAW

ok this is plain irritating..whenever I have a good intent,people think that I'm gonna do something bad or being a jerk.

I'm saying this because of two people's comment to me.Both comments were insults and slaps to my face.

1st.I dont know about the rest,but I've put in my heart and soul into NPCC.Yeah maybe the number of badges are tempting but I love teaching the cadets as much as I love NPCC and those who are in them.So when you said I/We have become cocky because we have become NCOs..I despise you very much because all of us had to sacrifice alot..not only you guys.We still look up to you,well atleast I do and a comment coming from you guys is a real slap of insult.

2nd.Because your my friend,I dont think its wrong to give you compliments and my honest opinion..tell me earlier if you didnt like it.I'm also reminding you the dangers of what your doing.If you dont like my concerns nor my compliments very well then.I'm shutting up.

I know there are people who take me for granted.I'm not ignorant..I play it.I'm not a guy who would purposely go and hurt your feelings.Its plain mean.

I'm also human.I have mood swing.So if your offended I'm sorry,but I'd like you to tell me that earlier.not when its almost at the end of the year,after hari raya when your suppose to forgive and forget.

I dont kill nor do I bite..so was it so hard to tell me earlier?or did you like it to tell it to me when I'm off guard?more fun?

i bloody hate people like this..

ps.sorry for not posting up the art..this whole issue got me annoyed

blearghs

Blearghs

mood:pissed off/awake
song listening : The Killers - Mr Brightside

I tried as much as I could to be as positive as I could..avoiding as much as I can from having mood swings.But end of the day,after my dose Novocaine and Caffeine ran out,it was very hard to control them..suddenly every part of me feels like fighting and crying.Insults only made things worst.

"who wants a guy like me?so what if I'm enthusiastic?Everyone wants either a leader or a bad guy to challenge."

End of the day,everyone thinks I'm lame though I'm trying to cheer them up and I get off tracked in my studies and now I'm the one at lost.I knew if I focused more on my studies and less on everything else I could have gotten back my B's and A's but I brushed them of in the sake of 'friends'.'Friends' who only see my either for my money or skills.Not many only want me for me..Its getting very much sickening.

I've lost alot for the sake of my 'friends' or the people who 'needed' me,my sanity,freedom, my emotions.

Try to go to school to give a fake smile as an assurance that I'm better to yourself and your friends.You'll get tired of it one day or another.

These rules that I make up are the only reasons why I don't go off fighting every person that I think is an asshole.I still got my common sense though my sanity seems to seeping away from me some how.I know if I kick the shit of this one punk,another 3 comes out,then another 6,then another 9 until I have to give up fighting.So I'd rather give up fighting now.If I have to wait for my justice to be served,then I'll just have to wait.

Oh yeah F*ck you if your annoyed reading this.I need to vent my anger out.Thats whats a bloody blog for.If you didnt expect much depression and anger,I suggest you go read my blogger address once again D*ckhead.

God I'm feeling much better after venting that whole crap out.Tomorrow's the 'last' day of school.Jumping for joy because I can sleep in for a few days.

Happy holidays everyone.Gonna post up a new art very soon,probably in my next post,so look forward to it,

If the Hero has to go off an save everyone,who's going to save the Hero?

spammers

ah sorry guys..not in pink of health and such..but I got something to make up for it..hopefully you guys can see..smthings wrong with blogger...

anywho exams over..more nap time =3yeah thats all I do actually these days..sleep

oh yeah I got a spiffy new watch and a PSP..gotta show it to you guys one day =3

byes

Vlogging

mood : PFFTS (thats two times in a row D=)
song : Fall out Boy - The Breaks over,The Take over

walau...you know how irritating it is when u plan to do something then because of one bloody error or not having that items spoils your whole plan?yeah,I was planning to Vlog today/night but apperently my com doesnt accept it no matter what program it takes under as.a total WTF?yeah today went visiting and stuff..My cuzzie/uncle*complicated* staying over playing winning 11 over the ps2.

I'm kinda feeling much better even though there was an awkward conversation early in the morning..shall not talk about it,kinda personal hahas.Yeah,I swear that I'm not flirting with anyone.I'm just being friendly,and sorry if anyone got wrong message.But,if fate will have it that a girl likes me and the feelings mutual,I'll try my best to work it out.The thing I'm scared about relationship as I said many times is,I cant spend alot of time with you/her *who ever is reading*
so,it'll make her sad.
And the thing that I learn/seen/heard in relationship,that both partners/party must be happy,so how can i be happy when I know she isnt.I'll be happy if she is.
(you:whah sabri so sacrificial ah?? me:shush it before I shush ur tush)

uh probably thats all la nights/mornings.
*you guys still havent tell me who am I more likely to be,mickey,pooh bear or spongebob*

Weekend

mood: Pffts/awkward
song : Samson - Kenangan Terindah / Yellowcard - City of Devils

ARGH!!!!!!!!
Had to let that out.Today like so frustrating.a real "To do or not to do" day..Early morning woke up at 4 for sahur(early breakfast before fast)but then decided to sleep in..than had to choose weather to bring art stuff or not.Decided to bring but couldnt find Mrs Lai nor Hasanah..(dont ask)
then at home was deciding weather to go to prayers or not..naturally I went then felt like playing soccer but had to go home..wait mum nag =P.then suddenly fell asleep.didnt plan to update the blog up but I did..uh new songs,more info's and new links.go check them out aites?

For those who cant read the new playlist its
Samsons - Kenangang Terinah
Yellowcard - City of Devils
Linkin Park - Bleed it Out
Jay Chou - An Jing
Boys like girls - The Great Escape
Good Charlotte - Bloody Valentine

I'm kinda losing my grip on things..seriously..God knows why my mind turns blank all of a sudden..I even got a burn mark when iron my uniform..haiz..Things are settling down but why the heck am I still feeling so frustrated??

out of random curiosity, am I more of a spongebob,pooh bear or mickey in overall terms??
just curious thats all..nights all and good luck for what ever you planning unless its taking over the world or cutting down my caffeine supply than your very bad D:

following to my rules

mood: empty/tired
song : Sorry,Blame it on me - Akon /Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5

Thanks Mariam and Ruzana and the rest who send the condolences.But you two are willing to lend a shoulder,I appreciate that.

I'm just stressed out thats all.I really want to study but every time I come back I get tired easily and then doze off.My brother's not really helping..he's been a pain lately...and when i thought he's changed.Seeing my uncles,aunties and cousins cry so badly makes me feel pathetic.It looks as if I'm heartless.

And then everyone else have somebody to be there always..leaving me out..again..seriously,who would want to listen to my sob stories..Everyone's used to the cheery-happy-go-lucky me..even myself..so I was really shocked myself when I smiled when I goof off with alvin(I planned to sulk all day for some reasons)

I follow mainly 3 rules:
1)Its how you live your life and how people want to remember you as so make the most of it.
2)What is done is done and whats happened has happened..all you can do it to make things or make yourself feel better.
3)Help others not for the sake of doing a good deed,but for the sake of helping and to keep me busy so that I dont remember how stress I am.

Thats why probably every night,I do things to unstress myself so tomorrow would seem better.Probably on Sunday night I didnt do much of "unstressing" so the next day I seemed so annoyed.Cant blame me.I have to take my english and maths paper while my great grandmother is being buried and I cant be there to see her for the last time.

So I would really apologies to those who I "scared"or "shocked" yesterday,monday.

I really just feel stressed up and tired(I even bumped my head to a sharp corner of a table at home) and some reasons even when I try my best to be happy..I still feel hollow..

Maybe I need some time to think what to do next and destress after the exam.Or maybe focus on something else..either on that works..

And maybe asking for a relationship is too much to ask..so I'll just wait and see what happens like I always do

nights all

Goodbye

mood:in pain
listening to:Goodbye my lover /Numb

Today at 11.43 a.m,my great grandmother , Zainap bte Awang past away peacefully.She care for everyone,and even raised up her grandchildren up with loving care and never stopped loving.So in loving memory,

Rest In Peace
Zainap Bte Awang
loving parent,loving grandmother,loving great grandmother
You will be missed by all who know you

funny thing is..I couldnt shed a tear..even when I wanted to.I tried to.. but I just could..I always said save you tears for someone that has passed away.Now that someone has really do,I dont know why I still couldnt?Maybe I'm in too much pain..just tonight,I couldnt eat like normal,even vomited out my food.I feel like smashing my head into the wall,but thats no good.I'm regretting so many things...getting angry so easily.

Probably the exams getting to me..or I held too much until it exploded??I dont know..seriously I feel like crying like a baby so bad..but I cant..no shoulder to cry on...too much pride..I really need time alone..night all

relationships

mood:restless/irritated/longing for something
listening to :swing swing/light up the sky

people these days are saying ILY like their popping in sweets.You guys are hurting her.Stop it please.I really wish i could be there for everything for you but the thing is..as much as I want to I cant.I dont know what to do..

I've been into a relationship so I never know how to comfort someone in matters like this.I'm either too busy with school life,caught up with family matters or tired to do anything else.Thats why I cant be in a relationship.I'm afraid I'd ignore her.That would make matters worst.

but seriously..i feel as if I'm stress out..I need another out let to relieve my stress then other punching the wall(bro keep complaining)drinking pepsi(mum's scared)

I need help..before I start crying..it hurts my eyes..seriously its been along time since I cried...ARGH gd luck for your exams all

I'll be happy-go-lucky like micky,if your willing to wait for be at the porch being my minnie;
I'll save you as I become ron,if you'd willing to be my kim;
i'll the goofy as spongebob,if you promise to play karate with me as Sandy;
I'll save you from luther as superman,if you promise to keep my secret being louis lane

tagged (2)

1.The person who tagged you is..
ruzana

2.Your Relationship with her?
alot of stuff,my crappy little friend,i'd tell her anything if i could wich i dont =P.The sweetest little bubble you can find.

3. 5 impressions you have of her
1.she has a high voice
2.taking photos is her hobby
3.shes another one who gotzda biggest smile I have eva known D: another true fact.
4.she really likes the prezzie i gave her
5.she's lame=cute

4.Most memorable thing she has done for you..
she doesnt know it but talking to her actually cheers me up

5.Most memorable word she has said to you..
she talks alot of random stuff so i cant remember much =X

6.If she becomes your lover,you will :
let her drink milk so she can grow tallXD

7.If she becomes your lover,things she has to improve on is to:
so stop saying she's short..(no ur not)

8.If she becomes your enemy,you will?
probably ignore her for a month then reconcile

9.if she becomes your enemy,the reason will be:
i'm so thick skin and a loud mouth at times :((yeah same reasons)

10:the most desirable thing you want to do for her is..
to lepak(spend more time)with her..i only know her true msn D:

11.Your overral impression of her is
she's so bubbly but need to cheer up abit lifes good

TAGGED

eh kena tagged by mariam xD what the heck uh here it goes

1.The person who tagged you is..
Mariam

2.Your Relationship with her?
She's my NCO/Mentor/Ci/Friend/lots of stuff

3. 5 impressions you have of her
1.So bubbly..must have drank alot of pepsi before training
2.she cares alot.. i mean alot like on a scale from 1 to 10 she's like 12
3.she gotza biggest smile I have eva known D: a fact.
4.She loves JYNP like everyone else =D
5.She laughs alot.. i mean alot

4.Most memorable thing she has done for you..
taught me things that can come from the heart and remind me of those things

5.Most memorable word she has said to you..
word dun hab phrase got.

"Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo.But all you want is to ride with someone on the bus when limo breaks down"

Yeah I can still remember it..thats why very memorable to me.

6.If she becomes your lover,you will :
cut down her caffeine level..she laughs alot. i mean ALOT.

7.If she becomes your lover,things she has to improve on is to:
speak louder sometimes.sometimes only dun scream =P.

8.If she becomes your enemy,you will?
probably ask to be friends again

9.if she becomes your enemy,the reason will be:
i'm so thick skin and a loud mouth at times :(

10:the most desirable thing you want to do for her is..
a welcome back hug or a cake after bulan puasa welcoming her back to the JYNP family..we miss her lotz.

11.Your overral impression of her is
she's so bubbly..wished she can be my sis D:

12.how do you think people around you think about you
i make their day/a dickhead(i'm a good actor)/I'm caring

13.the characteristic that you like about yourself
I can love...I can draw,I just cant do it properly =D.I'm a good friend.

14.the characteristic you hate about yourself
I care too much something,I can be too thick skin

15.the most ideal person you want to be is:
Mr Jae

16.For the people who care and like you,say something to them
Thanks for motivating me to carry on with life even if you dont know it.

17.Pass this to 10 people you that u wish to know how they feel about you
1.Yiling
2.suhaimi
3.Q-raisha
4.Nisha
5.Fatin
6.Gabriel
7.Ruzana
8.Mariam XD
9.Syafiqah
10.Benedict


Who is no 6 having relationship with:
* I cannot tell wait he punch me D:

Is no.9 male/female:
* i think she is a she

If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing:
*hell no..seriously hell no

When you last chat with no 3.:
* msn..now XD

What kind of music that no 8 likes:
* reggie? i think alot of jiwang

Does no.1 have any siblings:
* uh i dunno

Will you woo no 3:
* uh cant tell depends..maybe..why not??DONT ASK ME!!

How bout no 7:
* considering

Is no 4 single:
* i dunno she never tell me anything these days

What's the surname of no 5:
* Hanani

What's the hobby of no 4:
* smsing and take picture

Do no 5 and 9 get along:
* they know each other i think...both from same cca so have something to relate i guess

Where is no 2 studying at:
* JUNYUAN

Say something casual about no 1:
* the most reliable relaxed,cute person i know

Have you tried developing feelings for no 8:
* she's like a sister to me

Where does no 9 lives:
* Tampines

What color does no 4 like:
* pink

Are no 5 and 1 best friends:
* nahhh

Does no 7 like 2:
* they dont know each other and I dont think they'd get together well

How did you get to know no 2:
* best buds to buddies to since sec 1

Does no 1 have any pets:
* I have no idea

Is no 7 the sexiest person in the world:
* guys come after her..i suppose so

oh yeah welcome back mariam =)

its not that I dont want to be in love..I just cant be in love..reasons are much valid.Thats why I act like a jerk so that no girl would date me...

too much of a heartache to cry

Its funny,my family cut off other relatives meaning I got a few now to visit instead of being so busy at Hari Raya. Dad hardly comes home theses days mainly because of work..He hardly calls.Exams are coming.Its hard to hang out with the rest..I feel like the odd one out..Some how Npcc getting me tired..My hearts asking for a companion yet the same time it'd rather be alone and life is bitting my butt now and then yet I dont cry nor do I cut my wrist..Maybe its too small of a matter to some or too much of a heartache for me to cry.I dont know.

I got no idea how I distanced myself till like this..it sucks..somehow I feel so..weak..useless once again..its like superman having a kryptonite for half a heart.

All my life I wanted to be a hero..a someone..i'm not even a sidekick..i'm a nobody in real life..what have I done?nothing..

But then its the little things that make me feel better.Like goofing off with steph,aiman,syazwan,karan,qraisha and alvin. Going home while listening to my mp3.Having a nap..Reading that comic at the library.Talking to my sec1s..

Makes me feel much better.

yeah I really miss chatting with you on msn...but things just dont work out as I thought it would..

suddenly I feel like hearing kryptonite..so enjoy =)

I took a walk around the world to
Ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark
Side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the
Dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
To do with you
I really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long as you’ll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with my
Superhuman might
Kryptonite

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with my
Superhuman might
Kryptonite

Yeah!

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be there
Holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite