must be the christmas spirit.

well everything is the same again. nothing to be fret of. mom is talking. the whole family is laughing. I even went for a modelling interview and got in. thats a wowzer isnt it? haha.

i feel like talking so much right now. There are so many things on my mind. I think bout the road less traveled. I think about the other way around.

I wonder why things changed. just like today while everyone was at the children department and i strolled down the toy section i wondered; "when did i grow too old for this"

then I wondered when did I became a father or even an adult before I knew I was a teenager. or did it pass me by? I get so worried and uptight some times. I fear about what people think and people say. I wonder, if that was me before? when did I realise I couldnt be reckless anymore.

When did I start paying for myself and others. when did i realise that I couldnt depend on my mother for everything?

It scares me. It puts me awake till 4 at days. It makes me wonder if others are the same or is it just me. am I being paranoid? I hope not.

I really need someone. to talk to. to laugh with. someone I can call my own. Not worrying that she'll run away or be disappointed with me for being who I am.

I need someone right now so badly. And I know there are alot of people who've been my side this couple of months. but their not mine to keep. but I thank you all. you know who you all are.

Nad, Afiq, Kas, Jing Yi, Marietta, Mom & Dad , Miles and not to forget Syimah. Im really greatful to have met this kind of people. They make me never to regret what I've done and feel good about myself because I did something good and I should feel good. thanks.

but this constant fear in the back of my mind some how makes me feel as if im drifting apart. It scares me at times. But I've got no worries since for the past 6 odd months it makes me feel as if im a new person. :)

thank you.

happy christmas everyone and see you all in the new year

god bless.