short and brieve

OBS was a real something to me.Met my overall objectives and I need to work harder,much harder if I want to be where I should be.Learned about alot of new things,more about people these past few days.And suddenly I feel so angry and lost again and keep telling myself the consequences of my actions..Yeah I actually think before I do these things.great grandma is really sick..I do hope she gets well.

Alot of things need to be settled.Dont know how its gonna be settle,but it has to.Right now,I dont mind walking this line alone nor do I mind company,come what comes.I'll do my best in any challenge.gone too far to give in nor give up right now.If people have to hate me for some reasons,be it prejudice or discontent,its your heart.I'm not gonna fight like you guys plan me to.I wanna move on with my life and I dont think fighting can help me move on.

Tc.btw I updated the song,msn me if you want them

gone to OBS

If You still see this on the top,this means I'm either gone to OBS or damn tired,give or take =).
Anyways like Fatin,I'm about 70 -75% scared of OBS...10% of me is wanting to have fun and stuff while the other 15%wanna makes sure I'm in the same league as the rest and wanna makes sure I come home safely for my parents.Anyway,choose my attitude..and its gonna be HAKUNA MATATA .

For those who have no clue whats HAKUNA MATATA , it mean no worries for the rest of the day.Its a problem free philosophy.hahaha betcha most of you are singing Timon & Pumba's Theme song.

Anyway help dad delivered some stuff then went shopping for track pants at beach roads..god saw lots of things,gun replica's..shoes and umm "chickens"?yeah
then went to SHAW CENTRE to collect lil bro's pants and went shopping of our own.Dad bought me a spiffy black T-shirt from G200 XD.Because while sending the food to Tanjong Katong,a principal's function,We were drench and it was so cold so had to change.Telling you,the fabric is awesome!!

anyway....







GONE TO OBS

BRAVERY

I feel lost,I'm wondering wheres my bravery gone to.Cant sit and wished lady luck to come back,she's found someone else to take care.Maybe thats good.This means she thinks that I can carry on with my life yet somethings missing.My bravery.

suddenly I feel scared to do things.I'm afraid of the consequences.Yet everyday I act as if its nobody's business..

hahahahaha..gotta think positive.I promised someone.

mondays gonna be OBS already..dont know what i'm gonna do there.My aim there is to see if I can last by myself..and I'm gonna carry that till the end..see ya soon

and then

Today was probably the last day,that mariam maam said she was gonna see us,but all of us vowed,hook or by crook we're gonna see each other and have a party.She gave us sweets and a note for each and everyone of us.Really touched me so if your reading this,I REALLY appreciate you and ben b'coz you guys have been teaching us since sec 1.

my ankle's killing me.that irritating pain.god.really want to finish everything really really fast.Worst thing still,OBS is next week.dont know how i'm gonna endure all this.will try.

choose your attitude...thats what I've learned..hahaha.

yet,I feel so empty weather I like it or not.Feels so awkward walking with a bunch of people you hardly mix yet want to.Feel so frustrated and shitty everytime I just let my mind daze off.I thought hardening my heart would be so much easier than letting it get hooked but its getting tooo lonely now.


The funny thing is,I fear is I think,which I really hope not,am in love..duno if monkey love,puppy love,kitten love or what so ever la.Just feels funny.

K,to other matters,everyone wants to be with me when I have a heavy wallet,but does anyone wanna take a ride with me with an EZ link card??not many,nor as much as I hope...really saddens me when people only see me for my money.who'd really wanna hang out with me anyway?nvm..gotta think positive..

nights all..
ps..lady luck where are you,you've been away from my side for far too long..miss being so damn lucky.

Pain

uh sorry guys for not replying and msn or even frenstering?alot of crap happen recently.theres alot of good stuff that happen but I'd rather vent out things instead.

alot of things happened today itself.God how i'd like to curse like theirs no tommorow.
Duno why sia in the bus I suddenly felt like crying.Of Course I didnt cry la, people will think something is wrong.Then during SC meeting just now and mdm fauziah lectured us about hope and believing.Reminded me how sucky my past is.But as much as it is,i'm trying my best not make it through the day.thats my only aim.

and then while I, kamil,nabil and iqbal were walking to KFC for lunch,I slipped into a "hole"on the grass patch and sprained my ankle.Because I was wearing high cut and stand the pain for awhile while walking..Now I feel like cursing every time I step.

Worst of all,tomorrow I have to go to campcraft.Dont know how I'm gonna make it through the day.See how la.

bloody craps....night all

my drawing

decided to upload my drawings..enjoy


changes by ~Newheart on deviantART

Bcoz We're Friends by ~Newheart on deviantART

" Back " gunlock INC. by ~Newheart on deviantART

stitch - sit by ~Newheart on deviantART

stitch - playing the guitar by ~Newheart on deviantART

BOREDOM...and bloody TAs...

been living on Macdonald's for two days now...argh I swear my tummy's gonna bulge like sec 1 again -_- but nevertheless,MCD IS LOVE =3..hahaha.did practically nothing this week except doing sketches of stitch upon steph's request.yeap that was my main goal this weekend... i think.
this week has been a real pain in the ass.Not only that I didn't remember there were 2 test but more or less disappointed with my sec 1s this week.

Pretty embarrassed when Mariam told me and Shao hui that the cadets in Saint Hildas were much more disciplined then ours..but she say ours got more potential..or it was a bittersweet point.

I'm trying as much as I can to help the sec 1s and still I'm probably the least liked NCOs..what to do..If they want to hate me do so..used to it anyway.

Anyway Muhaimin and Mariam is leaving us so the bunch of us are planning up something for the two.hope they like it.

TAs..one simple word...!@#$!%$@$D@$!#..get the picture?yeah...I really need to push some Cs to at least Bs. I really hope I can at least pull up my maths,chem and geo.If I do,I hope I can get back to my top 60 position which by now seems to be useless.haiz..i'll get trough it,one thing at a time.

On a brighter side.My art pieces are getting better.really wish you all can check it out.heres the link. so sign up,and leave commens kaes?thanks.now off to do some relinking

class assignment

note:the first part is found at suhaimi's/bloodsugar blog

Dreams, painfull yet satisfying. It can change a life. It can make Man see what's unseen. Is it an illusion, was it real? What is dreams, why do we have them? Dreams can lead to lots of obtructive natural behavior that sometimes just misunderstandable.

Despite our fellowship. We still feel numb among the crowd of dozens. Disturbed by what the dreams told you. Disturbed by what the dreams had shown you.

When something you like became love and soon turn to an obssesion. Highly dangerous and difficult to overcome. The false hope and phony sence of belive that is given. Makes you thing that you can do something that you just can't.

Dreams,very bitter sweet. It can change a man's life,making him see what's unseen. Is it an illusion or was it real? What is dreams and why do we have them? They can lead to alot of obstructive natural behavior which sometimes misunderstood.

Despite having tons of friends, we still feel numb among the crowd of people.

Disturbed by what the dreams had shown you.

It becomes dangerous or difficult to move on when the things you love has become your obsession. That false hope and phony sense of believe that is given you makes you think that you can do something that you just can't.

every inch

every inch,every part of my body feels as if its tearing apart right now.My stomach,my left arm,my back.Just now my stomach cramped up.Could hardly breath no less move.It hurt.

I'm asking myself..why cant I just stand down,then I remembered,I did..for a long time..so why arent I at my peak again.

WHATS WITH ALL THIS ACHES?
WHY DO I STILL MOVE WHEN MY BODY ACHES SO MUCH?

I feel pathetic.I felt more pathetic when two of my juniors told me that I've changed.Made me feel even worst.The fact that I keep changing.The fact that I'm still not sure who I am.

how I keep moving,inch by inch right now is amazing.

night...