not in the mood

Mood : Still angry
Song listening : Alesana - congratulations, I hate you

Not In The Mood


still angry...'nuff said
and probably gonna cancel off everything

Final straw

mood: angry
song listening to : Red Hot Chili Peppers - I could have lied / Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under the Bridge
Thats the LAST STRAW

ok this is plain irritating..whenever I have a good intent,people think that I'm gonna do something bad or being a jerk.

I'm saying this because of two people's comment to me.Both comments were insults and slaps to my face.

1st.I dont know about the rest,but I've put in my heart and soul into NPCC.Yeah maybe the number of badges are tempting but I love teaching the cadets as much as I love NPCC and those who are in them.So when you said I/We have become cocky because we have become NCOs..I despise you very much because all of us had to sacrifice alot..not only you guys.We still look up to you,well atleast I do and a comment coming from you guys is a real slap of insult.

2nd.Because your my friend,I dont think its wrong to give you compliments and my honest opinion..tell me earlier if you didnt like it.I'm also reminding you the dangers of what your doing.If you dont like my concerns nor my compliments very well then.I'm shutting up.

I know there are people who take me for granted.I'm not ignorant..I play it.I'm not a guy who would purposely go and hurt your feelings.Its plain mean.

I'm also human.I have mood swing.So if your offended I'm sorry,but I'd like you to tell me that earlier.not when its almost at the end of the year,after hari raya when your suppose to forgive and forget.

I dont kill nor do I bite..so was it so hard to tell me earlier?or did you like it to tell it to me when I'm off guard?more fun?

i bloody hate people like this..

ps.sorry for not posting up the art..this whole issue got me annoyed

blearghs

Blearghs

mood:pissed off/awake
song listening : The Killers - Mr Brightside

I tried as much as I could to be as positive as I could..avoiding as much as I can from having mood swings.But end of the day,after my dose Novocaine and Caffeine ran out,it was very hard to control them..suddenly every part of me feels like fighting and crying.Insults only made things worst.

"who wants a guy like me?so what if I'm enthusiastic?Everyone wants either a leader or a bad guy to challenge."

End of the day,everyone thinks I'm lame though I'm trying to cheer them up and I get off tracked in my studies and now I'm the one at lost.I knew if I focused more on my studies and less on everything else I could have gotten back my B's and A's but I brushed them of in the sake of 'friends'.'Friends' who only see my either for my money or skills.Not many only want me for me..Its getting very much sickening.

I've lost alot for the sake of my 'friends' or the people who 'needed' me,my sanity,freedom, my emotions.

Try to go to school to give a fake smile as an assurance that I'm better to yourself and your friends.You'll get tired of it one day or another.

These rules that I make up are the only reasons why I don't go off fighting every person that I think is an asshole.I still got my common sense though my sanity seems to seeping away from me some how.I know if I kick the shit of this one punk,another 3 comes out,then another 6,then another 9 until I have to give up fighting.So I'd rather give up fighting now.If I have to wait for my justice to be served,then I'll just have to wait.

Oh yeah F*ck you if your annoyed reading this.I need to vent my anger out.Thats whats a bloody blog for.If you didnt expect much depression and anger,I suggest you go read my blogger address once again D*ckhead.

God I'm feeling much better after venting that whole crap out.Tomorrow's the 'last' day of school.Jumping for joy because I can sleep in for a few days.

Happy holidays everyone.Gonna post up a new art very soon,probably in my next post,so look forward to it,

If the Hero has to go off an save everyone,who's going to save the Hero?

spammers

ah sorry guys..not in pink of health and such..but I got something to make up for it..hopefully you guys can see..smthings wrong with blogger...

anywho exams over..more nap time =3yeah thats all I do actually these days..sleep

oh yeah I got a spiffy new watch and a PSP..gotta show it to you guys one day =3

byes

Vlogging

mood : PFFTS (thats two times in a row D=)
song : Fall out Boy - The Breaks over,The Take over

walau...you know how irritating it is when u plan to do something then because of one bloody error or not having that items spoils your whole plan?yeah,I was planning to Vlog today/night but apperently my com doesnt accept it no matter what program it takes under as.a total WTF?yeah today went visiting and stuff..My cuzzie/uncle*complicated* staying over playing winning 11 over the ps2.

I'm kinda feeling much better even though there was an awkward conversation early in the morning..shall not talk about it,kinda personal hahas.Yeah,I swear that I'm not flirting with anyone.I'm just being friendly,and sorry if anyone got wrong message.But,if fate will have it that a girl likes me and the feelings mutual,I'll try my best to work it out.The thing I'm scared about relationship as I said many times is,I cant spend alot of time with you/her *who ever is reading*
so,it'll make her sad.
And the thing that I learn/seen/heard in relationship,that both partners/party must be happy,so how can i be happy when I know she isnt.I'll be happy if she is.
(you:whah sabri so sacrificial ah?? me:shush it before I shush ur tush)

uh probably thats all la nights/mornings.
*you guys still havent tell me who am I more likely to be,mickey,pooh bear or spongebob*

Weekend

mood: Pffts/awkward
song : Samson - Kenangan Terindah / Yellowcard - City of Devils

ARGH!!!!!!!!
Had to let that out.Today like so frustrating.a real "To do or not to do" day..Early morning woke up at 4 for sahur(early breakfast before fast)but then decided to sleep in..than had to choose weather to bring art stuff or not.Decided to bring but couldnt find Mrs Lai nor Hasanah..(dont ask)
then at home was deciding weather to go to prayers or not..naturally I went then felt like playing soccer but had to go home..wait mum nag =P.then suddenly fell asleep.didnt plan to update the blog up but I did..uh new songs,more info's and new links.go check them out aites?

For those who cant read the new playlist its
Samsons - Kenangang Terinah
Yellowcard - City of Devils
Linkin Park - Bleed it Out
Jay Chou - An Jing
Boys like girls - The Great Escape
Good Charlotte - Bloody Valentine

I'm kinda losing my grip on things..seriously..God knows why my mind turns blank all of a sudden..I even got a burn mark when iron my uniform..haiz..Things are settling down but why the heck am I still feeling so frustrated??

out of random curiosity, am I more of a spongebob,pooh bear or mickey in overall terms??
just curious thats all..nights all and good luck for what ever you planning unless its taking over the world or cutting down my caffeine supply than your very bad D:

following to my rules

mood: empty/tired
song : Sorry,Blame it on me - Akon /Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5

Thanks Mariam and Ruzana and the rest who send the condolences.But you two are willing to lend a shoulder,I appreciate that.

I'm just stressed out thats all.I really want to study but every time I come back I get tired easily and then doze off.My brother's not really helping..he's been a pain lately...and when i thought he's changed.Seeing my uncles,aunties and cousins cry so badly makes me feel pathetic.It looks as if I'm heartless.

And then everyone else have somebody to be there always..leaving me out..again..seriously,who would want to listen to my sob stories..Everyone's used to the cheery-happy-go-lucky me..even myself..so I was really shocked myself when I smiled when I goof off with alvin(I planned to sulk all day for some reasons)

I follow mainly 3 rules:
1)Its how you live your life and how people want to remember you as so make the most of it.
2)What is done is done and whats happened has happened..all you can do it to make things or make yourself feel better.
3)Help others not for the sake of doing a good deed,but for the sake of helping and to keep me busy so that I dont remember how stress I am.

Thats why probably every night,I do things to unstress myself so tomorrow would seem better.Probably on Sunday night I didnt do much of "unstressing" so the next day I seemed so annoyed.Cant blame me.I have to take my english and maths paper while my great grandmother is being buried and I cant be there to see her for the last time.

So I would really apologies to those who I "scared"or "shocked" yesterday,monday.

I really just feel stressed up and tired(I even bumped my head to a sharp corner of a table at home) and some reasons even when I try my best to be happy..I still feel hollow..

Maybe I need some time to think what to do next and destress after the exam.Or maybe focus on something else..either on that works..

And maybe asking for a relationship is too much to ask..so I'll just wait and see what happens like I always do

nights all