Today at 11.43 a.m,my great grandmother , Zainap bte Awang past away peacefully.She care for everyone,and even raised up her grandchildren up with loving care and never stopped loving.So in loving memory,
Rest In Peace Zainap Bte Awang loving parent,loving grandmother,loving great grandmother You will be missed by all who know you
funny thing is..I couldnt shed a tear..even when I wanted to.I tried to.. but I just could..I always said save you tears for someone that has passed away.Now that someone has really do,I dont know why I still couldnt?Maybe I'm in too much pain..just tonight,I couldnt eat like normal,even vomited out my food.I feel like smashing my head into the wall,but thats no good.I'm regretting so many things...getting angry so easily.
Probably the exams getting to me..or I held too much until it exploded??I dont know..seriously I feel like crying like a baby so bad..but I cant..no shoulder to cry on...too much pride..I really need time alone..night all
mood:restless/irritated/longing for something listening to :swing swing/light up the sky
people these days are saying ILY like their popping in sweets.You guys are hurting her.Stop it please.I really wish i could be there for everything for you but the thing is..as much as I want to I cant.I dont know what to do..
I've been into a relationship so I never know how to comfort someone in matters like this.I'm either too busy with school life,caught up with family matters or tired to do anything else.Thats why I cant be in a relationship.I'm afraid I'd ignore her.That would make matters worst.
but seriously..i feel as if I'm stress out..I need another out let to relieve my stress then other punching the wall(bro keep complaining)drinking pepsi(mum's scared)
I need help..before I start crying..it hurts my eyes..seriously its been along time since I cried...ARGH gd luck for your exams all
I'll be happy-go-lucky like micky,if your willing to wait for be at the porch being my minnie; I'll save you as I become ron,if you'd willing to be my kim; i'll the goofy as spongebob,if you promise to play karate with me as Sandy; I'll save you from luther as superman,if you promise to keep my secret being louis lane
2.Your Relationship with her? alot of stuff,my crappy little friend,i'd tell her anything if i could wich i dont =P.The sweetest little bubble you can find.
3. 5 impressions you have of her 1.she has a high voice 2.taking photos is her hobby 3.shes another one who gotzda biggest smile I have eva known D: another true fact. 4.she really likes the prezzie i gave her 5.she's lame=cute
4.Most memorable thing she has done for you.. she doesnt know it but talking to her actually cheers me up
5.Most memorable word she has said to you.. she talks alot of random stuff so i cant remember much =X
6.If she becomes your lover,you will : let her drink milk so she can grow tallXD
7.If she becomes your lover,things she has to improve on is to: so stop saying she's short..(no ur not)
8.If she becomes your enemy,you will? probably ignore her for a month then reconcile
9.if she becomes your enemy,the reason will be: i'm so thick skin and a loud mouth at times :((yeah same reasons)
10:the most desirable thing you want to do for her is.. to lepak(spend more time)with her..i only know her true msn D:
11.Your overral impression of her is she's so bubbly but need to cheer up abit lifes good
eh kena tagged by mariam xD what the heck uh here it goes
1.The person who tagged you is.. Mariam
2.Your Relationship with her? She's my NCO/Mentor/Ci/Friend/lots of stuff
3. 5 impressions you have of her 1.So bubbly..must have drank alot of pepsi before training 2.she cares alot.. i mean alot like on a scale from 1 to 10 she's like 12 3.she gotza biggest smile I have eva known D: a fact. 4.She loves JYNP like everyone else =D 5.She laughs alot.. i mean alot
4.Most memorable thing she has done for you.. taught me things that can come from the heart and remind me of those things
5.Most memorable word she has said to you.. word dun hab phrase got.
"Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo.But all you want is to ride with someone on the bus when limo breaks down"
Yeah I can still remember it..thats why very memorable to me.
6.If she becomes your lover,you will : cut down her caffeine level..she laughs alot. i mean ALOT.
7.If she becomes your lover,things she has to improve on is to: speak louder sometimes.sometimes only dun scream =P.
8.If she becomes your enemy,you will? probably ask to be friends again
9.if she becomes your enemy,the reason will be: i'm so thick skin and a loud mouth at times :(
10:the most desirable thing you want to do for her is.. a welcome back hug or a cake after bulan puasa welcoming her back to the JYNP family..we miss her lotz.
11.Your overral impression of her is she's so bubbly..wished she can be my sis D:
12.how do you think people around you think about you i make their day/a dickhead(i'm a good actor)/I'm caring
13.the characteristic that you like about yourself I can love...I can draw,I just cant do it properly =D.I'm a good friend.
14.the characteristic you hate about yourself I care too much something,I can be too thick skin
15.the most ideal person you want to be is: Mr Jae
16.For the people who care and like you,say something to them Thanks for motivating me to carry on with life even if you dont know it.
17.Pass this to 10 people you that u wish to know how they feel about you 1.Yiling 2.suhaimi 3.Q-raisha 4.Nisha 5.Fatin 6.Gabriel 7.Ruzana 8.Mariam XD 9.Syafiqah 10.Benedict
Who is no 6 having relationship with: * I cannot tell wait he punch me D:
Is no.9 male/female: * i think she is a she
If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing: *hell no..seriously hell no
When you last chat with no 3.: * msn..now XD
What kind of music that no 8 likes: * reggie? i think alot of jiwang
Does no.1 have any siblings: * uh i dunno
Will you woo no 3: * uh cant tell depends..maybe..why not??DONT ASK ME!!
How bout no 7: * considering
Is no 4 single: * i dunno she never tell me anything these days
What's the surname of no 5: * Hanani
What's the hobby of no 4: * smsing and take picture
Do no 5 and 9 get along: * they know each other i think...both from same cca so have something to relate i guess
Where is no 2 studying at: * JUNYUAN
Say something casual about no 1: * the most reliable relaxed,cute person i know
Have you tried developing feelings for no 8: * she's like a sister to me
Where does no 9 lives: * Tampines
What color does no 4 like: * pink
Are no 5 and 1 best friends: * nahhh
Does no 7 like 2: * they dont know each other and I dont think they'd get together well
How did you get to know no 2: * best buds to buddies to since sec 1
Does no 1 have any pets: * I have no idea
Is no 7 the sexiest person in the world: * guys come after her..i suppose so
oh yeah welcome back mariam =)
its not that I dont want to be in love..I just cant be in love..reasons are much valid.Thats why I act like a jerk so that no girl would date me...
Its funny,my family cut off other relatives meaning I got a few now to visit instead of being so busy at Hari Raya. Dad hardly comes home theses days mainly because of work..He hardly calls.Exams are coming.Its hard to hang out with the rest..I feel like the odd one out..Some how Npcc getting me tired..My hearts asking for a companion yet the same time it'd rather be alone and life is bitting my butt now and then yet I dont cry nor do I cut my wrist..Maybe its too small of a matter to some or too much of a heartache for me to cry.I dont know.
I got no idea how I distanced myself till like this..it sucks..somehow I feel so..weak..useless once again..its like superman having a kryptonite for half a heart.
All my life I wanted to be a hero..a someone..i'm not even a sidekick..i'm a nobody in real life..what have I done?nothing..
But then its the little things that make me feel better.Like goofing off with steph,aiman,syazwan,karan,qraisha and alvin. Going home while listening to my mp3.Having a nap..Reading that comic at the library.Talking to my sec1s..
Makes me feel much better.
yeah I really miss chatting with you on msn...but things just dont work out as I thought it would..
suddenly I feel like hearing kryptonite..so enjoy =)
I took a walk around the world to Ease my troubled mind I left my body laying somewhere In the sands of time I watched the world float to the dark Side of the moon I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah
I watched the world float to the Dark side of the moon After all I knew it had to be something To do with you I really don’t mind what happens now and then As long as you’ll be my friend at the end
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with My superhuman might Kryptonite
You called me strong, you called me weak, But still your secrets I will keep You took for granted all the times I Never let you down You stumbled in and bumped your head, if Not for me then you would be dead I picked you up and put you back On solid ground
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with my Superhuman might Kryptonite
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with my Superhuman might Kryptonite
Yeah!
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be there Holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with My superhuman might Kryptonite
god today was really wasnt what I expected. Firstly I over slept and had stomach ache..which isnt a good combination..had to rush all the way..then Herman found 2 NCO shirts..argh.. then sevice day,though I was pleased with the group there were annoying residents and alot of big dogs..crap la.. then something unexpected happen..and now herman is pissed at us..crap..No matter what,We're trained to finish what we've started..thats that..late or what get more scolding...we'll finish what we have to do then settle it...probably staying back on Tues to help Karan clean up. then after visiting my uncle for..remembered that I had iconnexion..crap so decided to print out and give it to them on Mon..which means I'd be busy tomorrow..for awhile anyway..
Had another case of the cramps today..twice..I have to see the doctor if this keeps up. and as much as I can,I'm keeping thoughts positive so that others will be but somehow its getting harder..I really am thankful for the encouragement you guys have given me.
looking for a good blogskin..msn me if you found one kayz? nights..uh morning in this case (12.33 am)
"Your making choice to live like this, And all of the noise, I Am Silence."
"And it's still so hard to be who you are, But you've come this far with a broken heart."
Thought I might as well blog before I did my badge arrangement for tommorow.
In all the rush,EOY exams,personal life,trying means to kill boredom and time so that I can keep my mind of fasting..I feel rather lucky to have friends such as yiling,fatin,suhaimi and farah..yeah they have their own groups now but glad they didnt forget about me.
but I want to be in a group as well..I dont wanna be the guy who you always laugh at..Its really degrading when your friends makes fun of you even if when you say you dont like it.it really is... I want a group that have fun like suhaimi's group..hang together like yilings' and understand one and other like fatins'...haiz..but seriously theres a quention that lingers in my head..do you really want to be pals with me??haha answer if you wish..if you dont want to...I'mm not forcing..
anyway... Tomorrow,I shall go door to door from block 700 to 711 taking about crime prevention so please open the door and keeps your dogs inside the house...I dont like being chase..neither do I think that my juniors like it as well haha
its really heart aching.Seriously I think my sec 1 spoilt my day..seriously view this at an instructors point.who would you rather promote a guy who purposely misses 2 trainings than come 1 and repeat to avoid ur Teacher in Charge from calling your parents or would you rather promote a guy who just transfered into your cca and is willing to do best though its already end of the year?up to you..but what really makes me angry is you dont come for NP and yet you complain about a new comer who does?
I dont know la..today suhaimi said I was picking a fight with everyone..I dont know??suddenly I feel so confused.I fucking hate it.Suddenly I'm becoming lonely again..
heres 2 music vids go check them out
Bet on it - Zack Effron -Highschool Muscial 2
Bet On It High School Musical 2 lyrics
Everybody's always talkin' at me Everybody's tryin' to get in my head I wanna listen to my own heart talkin' I need to count on my self instead
Did you ever? Loose yourself to get what you want Did you ever?
Get on a ride and wanna get off Did you ever?
Push away the ones you should've held close Did you ever let go? Did you ever not know?
I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am I'll give it all I got, that is my plan Realize on what I lost You know you can
Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on me
I wanna make it right, that is the way To turn my life around, today is the day Am I the type of guy who means what I say? Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it
How will I know if there's a path worth taking? Should I question every move I make? The thought of lost my heart and it's breakin' I don't wanna make the same mistake
Did you ever? Doubt your dream will ever come true Did you ever? Blame the world and never blame you I will never... Try to live a lie again
I don't wanna win this game if I can't play it my way I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am (Who I am) I'll give it all I got, that is my plan (That's my plan)
Realize on what I lost You know you can (You know you can) Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it Bet on me
I wanna make it right, that is the way To turn my life around, today is the day Am I the type of guy who means what I say? Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it
Oh...Hold up Give me room to think Bringin' it on down Gotta work on my swing Gotta do my own thing
Oh...Hold up
It's no good at all To see yourself and not recognize your face
Out on my own, it's such a scary place (Ooh)
The answers are all inside of me All I gotta do is believe
I'm not gonna stop Not gonna stop 'til I get my shot That's who I am, that is my plan Will I end up on top?
You can bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it You can bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it Bet on me
I wanna make it right, that is the way To turn my life around, today is the day Am I the type of guy who means what I say? Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it You can bet on me
Gotta Go my own way - Vanessa Hudgens - Highschool musical 2
Gabriella:
I gotta say what's on my mind.
Something about us doesn't seem right these days.
Life keeps getting in the way.
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged.
It's hard to say, but I've gotta do what's the best for me.
You'll be okay...
Chorus:
I've got to move on and be who I am.
I just don't belong here; I hope you understand.
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.
Don't wanna leave it all behind,
but I get my hopes up and watch them all fall every time.
Another color turns to grey,
And it's just to hard to watch it all slowly fade away.
I'm leavin' today 'cause I've gotta do what's the best for me.
Just came back from ATC at Pulau Ubin..Totally an awesome exprience though I wasnt used to the conditions.My body keeps aching.I'm having severe body cramps though I stretch often.
I dont know anymore...I know I'm not the only one whose busy,Best bets that Shao Hui or Fatin busier than me..I dont know why I'm feeling so down.I really hate.My minds in a daze at days.. sometimes people keep wondering if I'd drop dead any moment.I feel as if I'm fading away.
I feel totally lost.Hell,I've been doing alot of random things or just laying at home,wishing I could do better.I know it wont change anything but I dont know what to do no less have any confidence to move.
But hear this.It doesnt mean I dont move,means I cant.I'm trying as best as I can to carry on with life.Everything a part and parcel.Thats what I've been taught.To never give up.
yeah Ruzana, its not my fault.You made me to it.All those heart aching jokes.It hurt especially coming from someone like you.You from all person.My all my friends say that I was blind in liking you.Yeap.I liked you.not any more.I gotta keep falling in love with the ones I know keep breaking my heart.Since you think I'm such a jerk because of 1 stupid photo,then I think your 3453632155 times of s jerk for making me go to a transversite friendster as well as calling me gay and showing me those emoticons.
there I let everything out.view the vid I found kaez?
ARGH..freaking flu,seriously no mood to blog.anyway,my cousins are staying here so stress lv is going up probably for afew reasons,safety,both for them and my stuff..i swear things a breaking.My place is in a mess..they're becoming annoying..and its been 4 days... argh...haiz took alot of pics but couldnt find the cable lers.
oh yeah..i shaved..yes its official,i shaved my mustache and beard..@DE$!@#$@R...i look funny,will show you guys when i find the cable kaez?
Everyone's chained to their own problem.how they face it is their way to their freedom.I know someone changed drastically,because his problem became so too complicated for himself.then I know one,whose willing to show everyone that she'll can do it yet theres another,having so much burden on her chest,she got no choice but to run away from it all.
I admit,I may not be facing all my problem,there'd probably be a blood bath hahaha.But I'm trying at my most to cope with it.I cant do all the things i used to because my state is weakening..coughing like hell.sleeping early waking up late.Headaches. you name it.
