Mood : empty Song : Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang ! my baby shot me down"Do you remember when you were 5 and I was 6? We would always play horses made out of sticks The colours we wore,black and white Can you remember the day I fought for you that night? Remembered that church bells rang while the music played our favourite song? Didnt you read the letter i left you in the old black jacket? BANG BANG Why did you have to shoot me down?" Adapted from Nancy Sintra - Bang Bang,my darling shot me down by sabri
I feel tired.weak.scared.confused.yearning for something. so many thoughts running through my mind..responsibilities,friends,family my future,my heart. School is near..so is O level.I wanna carry on working but its taking a toll on myself.I love NPCC but its taking up so many things.I'm not sure but I think someone likes me.ARGH!?Since when a bloody loser like me have someone liking me..cupid is playing a bad 5-year old joke. Might doing a poetry on lady death.haha see if i got mood to type la..tmr is new year's eve!countdown ok? tc all
mode : one of those nights u wanna stare at the ceiling thinking song : aerosmith - I dont wanna miss a thing ITS CHRISTMAS
so to all who are celebrating,I wish you a very merry Christmas . i'm sorry but I'm not in a christmas mood.Reminiscing about old times with Chin Siang and got me thinking"Will my heart feel the same way to another like I did when I fell in love for the 1st time?"and then something came to my thoughts " What if I were too obsessed like I were a year ago?Woundnt I be abandoning my friends?"got me in quite a puzzle.So I decided to come what may and think before I act.
I want to work on dedication and commitment next year.Suhaimi told me its what I put my mind into will work for me but how much I practice it seems that it'd put me down.Lack of self-confidence?over-confident?or pressure?
I'll work it out one way. I'm really sorry if its not long like usual..I got so much to say but so little to express with.I might be spouting nonsense.But I tell you something though.
I'm not giving up.not now not this far.I'll find away. school's opening soon,you all take care now =)
song : Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel
I'll Never Let You Fall,I'll be the First One To Catch your Tears I'll know you'll never love me the way I've loved you but I wanna be one you can turn to, pouring out the sorrows, making you laugh when you dont want to telling you that life's a bitch Helping you decide weather he's the right one for you I want to be the one whole you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on I want to be your guardian angel ~by sabri
How can I say this in a simple term...yesterday while I was in training,my muscle totally froze and moving too much propably cause my ligaments in the thigh to tear..so basically..I'm crippled.
today however, I managed to limp all the way to the bus stop and downtown east to study with Aryani.apparently she has an over protective boyfriend..haha which guy isnt protective of their girl?Anyway had lunch at bk and bought some stuff to help me recover fast..proteins and stuff...
I'll tell you this though..limping one place to another is a bitch..darnit..Steph,who I miss chatting to badly,told me to get a wheelchair..so after much consideration I decided to use the office chair in my room as a wheelchair,Steph was right it is major fun to use.Haha..
I got to go now..very drowsy for once..take care now
It's a Shame I know I've been M.I.A for awhile now,just cant help it.I've become very sleepy now days and the ironic part its I cant nor subconsciously want to sleep at night which makes me rather tired in the day.Its just weird sleeping while hearing strange noises that u know arent possible to hear like a clock ticking but theirs no clock in bed room the rest are all silent and digital,hear the office chair in your room squeak as if someone is using/playing with it..Very disturbing..so yeah thats my reason for not blogging..too tired but if you really want to know whats been happening lately go to suhaimi and yiling's blog to check it out.
Its gonna be different without mr jae in Junyuan anymore.His tranfering to Singapore School of Arts.I could go on and on how much everyone will miss him and what he taught me over the years or no teacher could replace him but words are never enough when someone is going away.Seriously.
Blog hopping to a few blogs and it seems that a bit of love is in the air..haha but the thing is for who??the others lar..me??seriously who would love love me??friend love yes I'm a good friend but love love dunno hahaha..off topic haha.There are alot of things I still wanna type about alot of things and questions that are in my head but lazyness and a moody feeling cancel them off..soI think that's all for now..if I dont blog within 3 weeks take care now and I'm a good friend when in need..but my wallet is light if u know what I mean haha
ps: doesnt anyone have a extra copy of guitar heroes 2 or 3 on ps 2 or tell why the hell does my leg turns so cold as if theres no blood flowing while my body feels as if I'm running a fever??I need to know
Mood:Smiling Song listening :Boys like Girls - Hero Heroine / Coldplay - The Scientist
Nobody said it was Gonna be This HARD
Wow..hanging and goofing off with friends do cheer you up.though I wished I had my old friends with me as well.
I gotta go out more these days..all I do is sleep or play my psp.School is driving me nuts bit by bit..those who hang out with me will know.
but I cant go out much because my left knee is giving trouble to walk and I feel like limping some times.
Yes I would like some company but I dont think its the solution to all my problems.It probably help me kill time so I'll forget whats needed to be forgotten.
"When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likey turned your back on the world."
Mood: Better then the previous post song listening: Nickelback : Fight for all the Wrong Reasons I feel much better..and remember that I said I wanted to cancel everything for this past few days?allot of them did got cancel..due to some reasons..I couldnt go out to meeting today because there was a thunderstorm..my meeting tomorrow is canceled because there was a late notice of delivery work tomorrow..
I wanna find "The Pursuit of Happiness"its a wonderful story and movie..I almost teared when I saw the trailers on Cable and youtube.
other than that,I'd like you guys to view this vid and rate it!its a real well deserve amv..go see ok?
mood: angry song listening to : Red Hot Chili Peppers - I could have lied / Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under the Bridge Thats the LAST STRAW
ok this is plain irritating..whenever I have a good intent,people think that I'm gonna do something bad or being a jerk.
I'm saying this because of two people's comment to me.Both comments were insults and slaps to my face.
1st.I dont know about the rest,but I've put in my heart and soul into NPCC.Yeah maybe the number of badges are tempting but I love teaching the cadets as much as I love NPCC and those who are in them.So when you said I/We have become cocky because we have become NCOs..I despise you very much because all of us had to sacrifice alot..not only you guys.We still look up to you,well atleast I do and a comment coming from you guys is a real slap of insult.
2nd.Because your my friend,I dont think its wrong to give you compliments and my honest opinion..tell me earlier if you didnt like it.I'm also reminding you the dangers of what your doing.If you dont like my concerns nor my compliments very well then.I'm shutting up.
I know there are people who take me for granted.I'm not ignorant..I play it.I'm not a guy who would purposely go and hurt your feelings.Its plain mean.
I'm also human.I have mood swing.So if your offended I'm sorry,but I'd like you to tell me that earlier.not when its almost at the end of the year,after hari raya when your suppose to forgive and forget.
I dont kill nor do I bite..so was it so hard to tell me earlier?or did you like it to tell it to me when I'm off guard?more fun?
i bloody hate people like this..
ps.sorry for not posting up the art..this whole issue got me annoyed
mood:pissed off/awake song listening : The Killers - Mr Brightside
I tried as much as I could to be as positive as I could..avoiding as much as I can from having mood swings.But end of the day,after my dose Novocaine and Caffeine ran out,it was very hard to control them..suddenly every part of me feels like fighting and crying.Insults only made things worst.
"who wants a guy like me?so what if I'm enthusiastic?Everyone wants either a leader or a bad guy to challenge."
End of the day,everyone thinks I'm lame though I'm trying to cheer them up and I get off tracked in my studies and now I'm the one at lost.I knew if I focused more on my studies and less on everything else I could have gotten back my B's and A's but I brushed them of in the sake of 'friends'.'Friends' who only see my either for my money or skills.Not many only want me for me..Its getting very much sickening.
I've lost alot for the sake of my 'friends' or the people who 'needed' me,my sanity,freedom, my emotions.
Try to go to school to give a fake smile as an assurance that I'm better to yourself and your friends.You'll get tired of it one day or another.
These rules that I make up are the only reasons why I don't go off fighting every person that I think is an asshole.I still got my common sense though my sanity seems to seeping away from me some how.I know if I kick the shit of this one punk,another 3 comes out,then another 6,then another 9 until I have to give up fighting.So I'd rather give up fighting now.If I have to wait for my justice to be served,then I'll just have to wait.
Oh yeah F*ck you if your annoyed reading this.I need to vent my anger out.Thats whats a bloody blog for.If you didnt expect much depression and anger,I suggest you go read my blogger address once again D*ckhead.
God I'm feeling much better after venting that whole crap out.Tomorrow's the 'last' day of school.Jumping for joy because I can sleep in for a few days.
Happy holidays everyone.Gonna post up a new art very soon,probably in my next post,so look forward to it,
If the Hero has to go off an save everyone,who's going to save the Hero?
ah sorry guys..not in pink of health and such..but I got something to make up for it..hopefully you guys can see..smthings wrong with blogger... anywho exams over..more nap time =3yeah thats all I do actually these days..sleep
oh yeah I got a spiffy new watch and a PSP..gotta show it to you guys one day =3
mood : PFFTS (thats two times in a row D=) song : Fall out Boy - The Breaks over,The Take over
walau...you know how irritating it is when u plan to do something then because of one bloody error or not having that items spoils your whole plan?yeah,I was planning to Vlog today/night but apperently my com doesnt accept it no matter what program it takes under as.a total WTF?yeah today went visiting and stuff..My cuzzie/uncle*complicated* staying over playing winning 11 over the ps2.
I'm kinda feeling much better even though there was an awkward conversation early in the morning..shall not talk about it,kinda personal hahas.Yeah,I swear that I'm not flirting with anyone.I'm just being friendly,and sorry if anyone got wrong message.But,if fate will have it that a girl likes me and the feelings mutual,I'll try my best to work it out.The thing I'm scared about relationship as I said many times is,I cant spend alot of time with you/her *who ever is reading* so,it'll make her sad. And the thing that I learn/seen/heard in relationship,that both partners/party must be happy,so how can i be happy when I know she isnt.I'll be happy if she is. (you:whah sabri so sacrificial ah?? me:shush it before I shush ur tush)
uh probably thats all la nights/mornings. *you guys still havent tell me who am I more likely to be,mickey,pooh bear or spongebob*
mood: Pffts/awkward song : Samson - Kenangan Terindah / Yellowcard - City of Devils
ARGH!!!!!!!! Had to let that out.Today like so frustrating.a real "To do or not to do" day..Early morning woke up at 4 for sahur(early breakfast before fast)but then decided to sleep in..than had to choose weather to bring art stuff or not.Decided to bring but couldnt find Mrs Lai nor Hasanah..(dont ask) then at home was deciding weather to go to prayers or not..naturally I went then felt like playing soccer but had to go home..wait mum nag =P.then suddenly fell asleep.didnt plan to update the blog up but I did..uh new songs,more info's and new links.go check them out aites?
For those who cant read the new playlist its Samsons - Kenangang Terinah Yellowcard - City of Devils Linkin Park - Bleed it Out Jay Chou - An Jing Boys like girls - The Great Escape Good Charlotte - Bloody Valentine
I'm kinda losing my grip on things..seriously..God knows why my mind turns blank all of a sudden..I even got a burn mark when iron my uniform..haiz..Things are settling down but why the heck am I still feeling so frustrated??
out of random curiosity, am I more of a spongebob,pooh bear or mickey in overall terms?? just curious thats all..nights all and good luck for what ever you planning unless its taking over the world or cutting down my caffeine supply than your very bad D:
mood: empty/tired song : Sorry,Blame it on me - Akon /Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5
Thanks Mariam and Ruzana and the rest who send the condolences.But you two are willing to lend a shoulder,I appreciate that.
I'm just stressed out thats all.I really want to study but every time I come back I get tired easily and then doze off.My brother's not really helping..he's been a pain lately...and when i thought he's changed.Seeing my uncles,aunties and cousins cry so badly makes me feel pathetic.It looks as if I'm heartless.
And then everyone else have somebody to be there always..leaving me out..again..seriously,who would want to listen to my sob stories..Everyone's used to the cheery-happy-go-lucky me..even myself..so I was really shocked myself when I smiled when I goof off with alvin(I planned to sulk all day for some reasons)
I follow mainly 3 rules: 1)Its how you live your life and how people want to remember you as so make the most of it. 2)What is done is done and whats happened has happened..all you can do it to make things or make yourself feel better. 3)Help others not for the sake of doing a good deed,but for the sake of helping and to keep me busy so that I dont remember how stress I am.
Thats why probably every night,I do things to unstress myself so tomorrow would seem better.Probably on Sunday night I didnt do much of "unstressing" so the next day I seemed so annoyed.Cant blame me.I have to take my english and maths paper while my great grandmother is being buried and I cant be there to see her for the last time.
So I would really apologies to those who I "scared"or "shocked" yesterday,monday.
I really just feel stressed up and tired(I even bumped my head to a sharp corner of a table at home) and some reasons even when I try my best to be happy..I still feel hollow..
Maybe I need some time to think what to do next and destress after the exam.Or maybe focus on something else..either on that works..
And maybe asking for a relationship is too much to ask..so I'll just wait and see what happens like I always do
Today at 11.43 a.m,my great grandmother , Zainap bte Awang past away peacefully.She care for everyone,and even raised up her grandchildren up with loving care and never stopped loving.So in loving memory,
Rest In Peace Zainap Bte Awang loving parent,loving grandmother,loving great grandmother You will be missed by all who know you
funny thing is..I couldnt shed a tear..even when I wanted to.I tried to.. but I just could..I always said save you tears for someone that has passed away.Now that someone has really do,I dont know why I still couldnt?Maybe I'm in too much pain..just tonight,I couldnt eat like normal,even vomited out my food.I feel like smashing my head into the wall,but thats no good.I'm regretting so many things...getting angry so easily.
Probably the exams getting to me..or I held too much until it exploded??I dont know..seriously I feel like crying like a baby so bad..but I cant..no shoulder to cry on...too much pride..I really need time alone..night all
mood:restless/irritated/longing for something listening to :swing swing/light up the sky
people these days are saying ILY like their popping in sweets.You guys are hurting her.Stop it please.I really wish i could be there for everything for you but the thing is..as much as I want to I cant.I dont know what to do..
I've been into a relationship so I never know how to comfort someone in matters like this.I'm either too busy with school life,caught up with family matters or tired to do anything else.Thats why I cant be in a relationship.I'm afraid I'd ignore her.That would make matters worst.
but seriously..i feel as if I'm stress out..I need another out let to relieve my stress then other punching the wall(bro keep complaining)drinking pepsi(mum's scared)
I need help..before I start crying..it hurts my eyes..seriously its been along time since I cried...ARGH gd luck for your exams all
I'll be happy-go-lucky like micky,if your willing to wait for be at the porch being my minnie; I'll save you as I become ron,if you'd willing to be my kim; i'll the goofy as spongebob,if you promise to play karate with me as Sandy; I'll save you from luther as superman,if you promise to keep my secret being louis lane
2.Your Relationship with her? alot of stuff,my crappy little friend,i'd tell her anything if i could wich i dont =P.The sweetest little bubble you can find.
3. 5 impressions you have of her 1.she has a high voice 2.taking photos is her hobby 3.shes another one who gotzda biggest smile I have eva known D: another true fact. 4.she really likes the prezzie i gave her 5.she's lame=cute
4.Most memorable thing she has done for you.. she doesnt know it but talking to her actually cheers me up
5.Most memorable word she has said to you.. she talks alot of random stuff so i cant remember much =X
6.If she becomes your lover,you will : let her drink milk so she can grow tallXD
7.If she becomes your lover,things she has to improve on is to: so stop saying she's short..(no ur not)
8.If she becomes your enemy,you will? probably ignore her for a month then reconcile
9.if she becomes your enemy,the reason will be: i'm so thick skin and a loud mouth at times :((yeah same reasons)
10:the most desirable thing you want to do for her is.. to lepak(spend more time)with her..i only know her true msn D:
11.Your overral impression of her is she's so bubbly but need to cheer up abit lifes good
eh kena tagged by mariam xD what the heck uh here it goes
1.The person who tagged you is.. Mariam
2.Your Relationship with her? She's my NCO/Mentor/Ci/Friend/lots of stuff
3. 5 impressions you have of her 1.So bubbly..must have drank alot of pepsi before training 2.she cares alot.. i mean alot like on a scale from 1 to 10 she's like 12 3.she gotza biggest smile I have eva known D: a fact. 4.She loves JYNP like everyone else =D 5.She laughs alot.. i mean alot
4.Most memorable thing she has done for you.. taught me things that can come from the heart and remind me of those things
5.Most memorable word she has said to you.. word dun hab phrase got.
"Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo.But all you want is to ride with someone on the bus when limo breaks down"
Yeah I can still remember it..thats why very memorable to me.
6.If she becomes your lover,you will : cut down her caffeine level..she laughs alot. i mean ALOT.
7.If she becomes your lover,things she has to improve on is to: speak louder sometimes.sometimes only dun scream =P.
8.If she becomes your enemy,you will? probably ask to be friends again
9.if she becomes your enemy,the reason will be: i'm so thick skin and a loud mouth at times :(
10:the most desirable thing you want to do for her is.. a welcome back hug or a cake after bulan puasa welcoming her back to the JYNP family..we miss her lotz.
11.Your overral impression of her is she's so bubbly..wished she can be my sis D:
12.how do you think people around you think about you i make their day/a dickhead(i'm a good actor)/I'm caring
13.the characteristic that you like about yourself I can love...I can draw,I just cant do it properly =D.I'm a good friend.
14.the characteristic you hate about yourself I care too much something,I can be too thick skin
15.the most ideal person you want to be is: Mr Jae
16.For the people who care and like you,say something to them Thanks for motivating me to carry on with life even if you dont know it.
17.Pass this to 10 people you that u wish to know how they feel about you 1.Yiling 2.suhaimi 3.Q-raisha 4.Nisha 5.Fatin 6.Gabriel 7.Ruzana 8.Mariam XD 9.Syafiqah 10.Benedict
Who is no 6 having relationship with: * I cannot tell wait he punch me D:
Is no.9 male/female: * i think she is a she
If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing: *hell no..seriously hell no
When you last chat with no 3.: * msn..now XD
What kind of music that no 8 likes: * reggie? i think alot of jiwang
Does no.1 have any siblings: * uh i dunno
Will you woo no 3: * uh cant tell depends..maybe..why not??DONT ASK ME!!
How bout no 7: * considering
Is no 4 single: * i dunno she never tell me anything these days
What's the surname of no 5: * Hanani
What's the hobby of no 4: * smsing and take picture
Do no 5 and 9 get along: * they know each other i think...both from same cca so have something to relate i guess
Where is no 2 studying at: * JUNYUAN
Say something casual about no 1: * the most reliable relaxed,cute person i know
Have you tried developing feelings for no 8: * she's like a sister to me
Where does no 9 lives: * Tampines
What color does no 4 like: * pink
Are no 5 and 1 best friends: * nahhh
Does no 7 like 2: * they dont know each other and I dont think they'd get together well
How did you get to know no 2: * best buds to buddies to since sec 1
Does no 1 have any pets: * I have no idea
Is no 7 the sexiest person in the world: * guys come after her..i suppose so
oh yeah welcome back mariam =)
its not that I dont want to be in love..I just cant be in love..reasons are much valid.Thats why I act like a jerk so that no girl would date me...
Its funny,my family cut off other relatives meaning I got a few now to visit instead of being so busy at Hari Raya. Dad hardly comes home theses days mainly because of work..He hardly calls.Exams are coming.Its hard to hang out with the rest..I feel like the odd one out..Some how Npcc getting me tired..My hearts asking for a companion yet the same time it'd rather be alone and life is bitting my butt now and then yet I dont cry nor do I cut my wrist..Maybe its too small of a matter to some or too much of a heartache for me to cry.I dont know.
I got no idea how I distanced myself till like this..it sucks..somehow I feel so..weak..useless once again..its like superman having a kryptonite for half a heart.
All my life I wanted to be a hero..a someone..i'm not even a sidekick..i'm a nobody in real life..what have I done?nothing..
But then its the little things that make me feel better.Like goofing off with steph,aiman,syazwan,karan,qraisha and alvin. Going home while listening to my mp3.Having a nap..Reading that comic at the library.Talking to my sec1s..
Makes me feel much better.
yeah I really miss chatting with you on msn...but things just dont work out as I thought it would..
suddenly I feel like hearing kryptonite..so enjoy =)
I took a walk around the world to Ease my troubled mind I left my body laying somewhere In the sands of time I watched the world float to the dark Side of the moon I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah
I watched the world float to the Dark side of the moon After all I knew it had to be something To do with you I really don’t mind what happens now and then As long as you’ll be my friend at the end
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with My superhuman might Kryptonite
You called me strong, you called me weak, But still your secrets I will keep You took for granted all the times I Never let you down You stumbled in and bumped your head, if Not for me then you would be dead I picked you up and put you back On solid ground
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with my Superhuman might Kryptonite
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with my Superhuman might Kryptonite
Yeah!
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be there Holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side with My superhuman might Kryptonite
god today was really wasnt what I expected. Firstly I over slept and had stomach ache..which isnt a good combination..had to rush all the way..then Herman found 2 NCO shirts..argh.. then sevice day,though I was pleased with the group there were annoying residents and alot of big dogs..crap la.. then something unexpected happen..and now herman is pissed at us..crap..No matter what,We're trained to finish what we've started..thats that..late or what get more scolding...we'll finish what we have to do then settle it...probably staying back on Tues to help Karan clean up. then after visiting my uncle for..remembered that I had iconnexion..crap so decided to print out and give it to them on Mon..which means I'd be busy tomorrow..for awhile anyway..
Had another case of the cramps today..twice..I have to see the doctor if this keeps up. and as much as I can,I'm keeping thoughts positive so that others will be but somehow its getting harder..I really am thankful for the encouragement you guys have given me.
looking for a good blogskin..msn me if you found one kayz? nights..uh morning in this case (12.33 am)
"Your making choice to live like this, And all of the noise, I Am Silence."
"And it's still so hard to be who you are, But you've come this far with a broken heart."
Thought I might as well blog before I did my badge arrangement for tommorow.
In all the rush,EOY exams,personal life,trying means to kill boredom and time so that I can keep my mind of fasting..I feel rather lucky to have friends such as yiling,fatin,suhaimi and farah..yeah they have their own groups now but glad they didnt forget about me.
but I want to be in a group as well..I dont wanna be the guy who you always laugh at..Its really degrading when your friends makes fun of you even if when you say you dont like it.it really is... I want a group that have fun like suhaimi's group..hang together like yilings' and understand one and other like fatins'...haiz..but seriously theres a quention that lingers in my head..do you really want to be pals with me??haha answer if you wish..if you dont want to...I'mm not forcing..
anyway... Tomorrow,I shall go door to door from block 700 to 711 taking about crime prevention so please open the door and keeps your dogs inside the house...I dont like being chase..neither do I think that my juniors like it as well haha
its really heart aching.Seriously I think my sec 1 spoilt my day..seriously view this at an instructors point.who would you rather promote a guy who purposely misses 2 trainings than come 1 and repeat to avoid ur Teacher in Charge from calling your parents or would you rather promote a guy who just transfered into your cca and is willing to do best though its already end of the year?up to you..but what really makes me angry is you dont come for NP and yet you complain about a new comer who does?
I dont know la..today suhaimi said I was picking a fight with everyone..I dont know??suddenly I feel so confused.I fucking hate it.Suddenly I'm becoming lonely again..
heres 2 music vids go check them out
Bet on it - Zack Effron -Highschool Muscial 2
Bet On It High School Musical 2 lyrics
Everybody's always talkin' at me Everybody's tryin' to get in my head I wanna listen to my own heart talkin' I need to count on my self instead
Did you ever? Loose yourself to get what you want Did you ever?
Get on a ride and wanna get off Did you ever?
Push away the ones you should've held close Did you ever let go? Did you ever not know?
I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am I'll give it all I got, that is my plan Realize on what I lost You know you can
Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on me
I wanna make it right, that is the way To turn my life around, today is the day Am I the type of guy who means what I say? Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it
How will I know if there's a path worth taking? Should I question every move I make? The thought of lost my heart and it's breakin' I don't wanna make the same mistake
Did you ever? Doubt your dream will ever come true Did you ever? Blame the world and never blame you I will never... Try to live a lie again
I don't wanna win this game if I can't play it my way I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am (Who I am) I'll give it all I got, that is my plan (That's my plan)
Realize on what I lost You know you can (You know you can) Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it Bet on me
I wanna make it right, that is the way To turn my life around, today is the day Am I the type of guy who means what I say? Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it
Oh...Hold up Give me room to think Bringin' it on down Gotta work on my swing Gotta do my own thing
Oh...Hold up
It's no good at all To see yourself and not recognize your face
Out on my own, it's such a scary place (Ooh)
The answers are all inside of me All I gotta do is believe
I'm not gonna stop Not gonna stop 'til I get my shot That's who I am, that is my plan Will I end up on top?
You can bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it You can bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it Bet on me
I wanna make it right, that is the way To turn my life around, today is the day Am I the type of guy who means what I say? Bet on it, bet on it Bet on it, bet on it You can bet on me
Gotta Go my own way - Vanessa Hudgens - Highschool musical 2
Gabriella:
I gotta say what's on my mind.
Something about us doesn't seem right these days.
Life keeps getting in the way.
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged.
It's hard to say, but I've gotta do what's the best for me.
You'll be okay...
Chorus:
I've got to move on and be who I am.
I just don't belong here; I hope you understand.
We might find our place in this world someday,
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.
Don't wanna leave it all behind,
but I get my hopes up and watch them all fall every time.
Another color turns to grey,
And it's just to hard to watch it all slowly fade away.
I'm leavin' today 'cause I've gotta do what's the best for me.
Just came back from ATC at Pulau Ubin..Totally an awesome exprience though I wasnt used to the conditions.My body keeps aching.I'm having severe body cramps though I stretch often.
I dont know anymore...I know I'm not the only one whose busy,Best bets that Shao Hui or Fatin busier than me..I dont know why I'm feeling so down.I really hate.My minds in a daze at days.. sometimes people keep wondering if I'd drop dead any moment.I feel as if I'm fading away.
I feel totally lost.Hell,I've been doing alot of random things or just laying at home,wishing I could do better.I know it wont change anything but I dont know what to do no less have any confidence to move.
But hear this.It doesnt mean I dont move,means I cant.I'm trying as best as I can to carry on with life.Everything a part and parcel.Thats what I've been taught.To never give up.
yeah Ruzana, its not my fault.You made me to it.All those heart aching jokes.It hurt especially coming from someone like you.You from all person.My all my friends say that I was blind in liking you.Yeap.I liked you.not any more.I gotta keep falling in love with the ones I know keep breaking my heart.Since you think I'm such a jerk because of 1 stupid photo,then I think your 3453632155 times of s jerk for making me go to a transversite friendster as well as calling me gay and showing me those emoticons.
there I let everything out.view the vid I found kaez?
ARGH..freaking flu,seriously no mood to blog.anyway,my cousins are staying here so stress lv is going up probably for afew reasons,safety,both for them and my stuff..i swear things a breaking.My place is in a mess..they're becoming annoying..and its been 4 days... argh...haiz took alot of pics but couldnt find the cable lers.
oh yeah..i shaved..yes its official,i shaved my mustache and beard..@DE$!@#$@R...i look funny,will show you guys when i find the cable kaez?
Everyone's chained to their own problem.how they face it is their way to their freedom.I know someone changed drastically,because his problem became so too complicated for himself.then I know one,whose willing to show everyone that she'll can do it yet theres another,having so much burden on her chest,she got no choice but to run away from it all.
I admit,I may not be facing all my problem,there'd probably be a blood bath hahaha.But I'm trying at my most to cope with it.I cant do all the things i used to because my state is weakening..coughing like hell.sleeping early waking up late.Headaches. you name it.
OBS was a real something to me.Met my overall objectives and I need to work harder,much harder if I want to be where I should be.Learned about alot of new things,more about people these past few days.And suddenly I feel so angry and lost again and keep telling myself the consequences of my actions..Yeah I actually think before I do these things.great grandma is really sick..I do hope she gets well.
Alot of things need to be settled.Dont know how its gonna be settle,but it has to.Right now,I dont mind walking this line alone nor do I mind company,come what comes.I'll do my best in any challenge.gone too far to give in nor give up right now.If people have to hate me for some reasons,be it prejudice or discontent,its your heart.I'm not gonna fight like you guys plan me to.I wanna move on with my life and I dont think fighting can help me move on.
If You still see this on the top,this means I'm either gone to OBS or damn tired,give or take =). Anyways like Fatin,I'm about 70 -75% scared of OBS...10% of me is wanting to have fun and stuff while the other 15%wanna makes sure I'm in the same league as the rest and wanna makes sure I come home safely for my parents.Anyway,choose my attitude..and its gonna be HAKUNA MATATA .
For those who have no clue whats HAKUNA MATATA , it mean no worries for the rest of the day.Its a problem free philosophy.hahaha betcha most of you are singing Timon & Pumba's Theme song.
Anyway help dad delivered some stuff then went shopping for track pants at beach roads..god saw lots of things,gun replica's..shoes and umm "chickens"?yeah then went to SHAW CENTRE to collect lil bro's pants and went shopping of our own.Dad bought me a spiffy black T-shirt from G200 XD.Because while sending the food to Tanjong Katong,a principal's function,We were drench and it was so cold so had to change.Telling you,the fabric is awesome!!
I feel lost,I'm wondering wheres my bravery gone to.Cant sit and wished lady luck to come back,she's found someone else to take care.Maybe thats good.This means she thinks that I can carry on with my life yet somethings missing.My bravery.
suddenly I feel scared to do things.I'm afraid of the consequences.Yet everyday I act as if its nobody's business..
mondays gonna be OBS already..dont know what i'm gonna do there.My aim there is to see if I can last by myself..and I'm gonna carry that till the end..see ya soon
Today was probably the last day,that mariam maam said she was gonna see us,but all of us vowed,hook or by crook we're gonna see each other and have a party.She gave us sweets and a note for each and everyone of us.Really touched me so if your reading this,I REALLY appreciate you and ben b'coz you guys have been teaching us since sec 1.
my ankle's killing me.that irritating pain.god.really want to finish everything really really fast.Worst thing still,OBS is next week.dont know how i'm gonna endure all this.will try.
choose your attitude...thats what I've learned..hahaha.
yet,I feel so empty weather I like it or not.Feels so awkward walking with a bunch of people you hardly mix yet want to.Feel so frustrated and shitty everytime I just let my mind daze off.I thought hardening my heart would be so much easier than letting it get hooked but its getting tooo lonely now.
The funny thing is,I fear is I think,which I really hope not,am in love..duno if monkey love,puppy love,kitten love or what so ever la.Just feels funny.
K,to other matters,everyone wants to be with me when I have a heavy wallet,but does anyone wanna take a ride with me with an EZ link card??not many,nor as much as I hope...really saddens me when people only see me for my money.who'd really wanna hang out with me anyway?nvm..gotta think positive..
nights all.. ps..lady luck where are you,you've been away from my side for far too long..miss being so damn lucky.
uh sorry guys for not replying and msn or even frenstering?alot of crap happen recently.theres alot of good stuff that happen but I'd rather vent out things instead.
alot of things happened today itself.God how i'd like to curse like theirs no tommorow. Duno why sia in the bus I suddenly felt like crying.Of Course I didnt cry la, people will think something is wrong.Then during SC meeting just now and mdm fauziah lectured us about hope and believing.Reminded me how sucky my past is.But as much as it is,i'm trying my best not make it through the day.thats my only aim.
and then while I, kamil,nabil and iqbal were walking to KFC for lunch,I slipped into a "hole"on the grass patch and sprained my ankle.Because I was wearing high cut and stand the pain for awhile while walking..Now I feel like cursing every time I step.
Worst of all,tomorrow I have to go to campcraft.Dont know how I'm gonna make it through the day.See how la.
been living on Macdonald's for two days now...argh I swear my tummy's gonna bulge like sec 1 again -_- but nevertheless,MCD IS LOVE =3..hahaha.did practically nothing this week except doing sketches of stitch upon steph's request.yeap that was my main goal this weekend... i think. this week has been a real pain in the ass.Not only that I didn't remember there were 2 test but more or less disappointed with my sec 1s this week.
Pretty embarrassed when Mariam told me and Shao hui that the cadets in Saint Hildas were much more disciplined then ours..but she say ours got more potential..or it was a bittersweet point.
I'm trying as much as I can to help the sec 1s and still I'm probably the least liked NCOs..what to do..If they want to hate me do so..used to it anyway.
Anyway Muhaimin and Mariam is leaving us so the bunch of us are planning up something for the two.hope they like it.
TAs..one simple word...!@#$!%$@$D@$!#..get the picture?yeah...I really need to push some Cs to at least Bs. I really hope I can at least pull up my maths,chem and geo.If I do,I hope I can get back to my top 60 position which by now seems to be useless.haiz..i'll get trough it,one thing at a time.
On a brighter side.My art pieces are getting better.really wish you all can check it out.heres the link. so sign up,and leave commens kaes?thanks.now off to do some relinking
note:the first part is found at suhaimi's/bloodsugar blog
Dreams, painfull yet satisfying. It can change a life. It can make Man see what's unseen. Is it an illusion, was it real? What is dreams, why do we have them? Dreams can lead to lots of obtructive natural behavior that sometimes just misunderstandable.
Despite our fellowship. We still feel numb among the crowd of dozens. Disturbed by what the dreams told you. Disturbed by what the dreams had shown you.
When something you like became love and soon turn to an obssesion. Highly dangerous and difficult to overcome. The false hope and phony sence of belive that is given. Makes you thing that you can do something that you just can't.
Dreams,very bitter sweet. It can change a man's life,making him see what's unseen. Is it an illusion or was it real? What is dreams and why do we have them? They can lead to alot of obstructive natural behavior which sometimes misunderstood.
Despite having tons of friends, we still feel numb among the crowd of people.
Disturbed by what the dreams had shown you.
It becomes dangerous or difficult to move on when the things you love has become your obsession. That false hope and phony sense of believe that is given you makes you think that you can do something that you just can't.
every inch,every part of my body feels as if its tearing apart right now.My stomach,my left arm,my back.Just now my stomach cramped up.Could hardly breath no less move.It hurt.
I'm asking myself..why cant I just stand down,then I remembered,I did..for a long time..so why arent I at my peak again.
WHATS WITH ALL THIS ACHES? WHY DO I STILL MOVE WHEN MY BODY ACHES SO MUCH?
I feel pathetic.I felt more pathetic when two of my juniors told me that I've changed.Made me feel even worst.The fact that I keep changing.The fact that I'm still not sure who I am.
how I keep moving,inch by inch right now is amazing.
I'm sorry I'm sorry not tell you who i like; I'm sorry hurting you to keep it a secret; i'm sorry but I cant help it.
I'm a loser. Its not like I dont have the guts to tell you those 3 words I do.
the thing is, you have someone else and its awkward
I'm sorry,I really really am
today,dunno if say bitter sweet or not.got another day mc ahaha but then again,my secret was almost out.when i say secrets out I mean was told to her.She has a bf.enough said.
anyway my left eye keep falling asleep on me..it sucks.I kinda know how suhaimi feels now,I think...
argh...my eyes still havent healed yet.This means I cant go to school tomorrow.Not sure whether to jump for joy or cry right now because boredom and responsibilities are killing me! and gosh the weather here is god damn cool..feels as if its autumn or winter maybe.Kinda cool though..
Yeah I did try to take a pic of my eyes but i couldnt get a right pic and then I lost my cable connector.No,I'm not being lazy.I did however change the layouts abit and I kinda like it though mozilla fox doesnt allow me to see alot of computer graphic -__-.and if you dont see any changes it means I'm still working on it.(arent you an early goober? yes you are)
ok I know this is kinda funny but I got another song for you all..ahaha 3 in 2 days?!yeah!enjoy k and if you feel its kinda personal you can always post a comment on my haloscan comment thingy majegy.
Goo Goo Dolls - Before its too late
I wander through fiction To look for the truth Buried beneath all the lies And I stood at a distance To feel who you are Hiding myself in your eyes
Hold on before it’s too late Until we leave this behind Don’t fall, just be who you are It’s all that we need in our lives
And the risk that might break you Is the one that would say: A life you don’t live is still lost So stand on the edge with me Hold back your fear and see Nothing is real ‘til it’s gone
Hold on before it’s too late Until we leave this behind Don’t fall, just be who you are It’s all that we need in our lives
So live like you mean it And love ‘til you feel it It’s all that we need in our lives So stand on the edge with me Hold back your fear and see Nothing is real ‘til it’s gone
Hold on before it’s too late Until we leave this behind Don’t fall, just be who you are It’s all that we need in our lives
Hold on before it’s too late Until we leave this behind Don’t fall, just be who you are It’s all that we need in our lives
he gave me two days of mc..on 2 days..2 days..but better then nothing right?but darn when i go out i have to use shades.people will think I'm showing off.no choice its either that or people screaming like hell.yeah..I admit I'm probably that lucky in the past but i'm gonna pull it through till my lady luck returns.hopefully. please dont feel sad or pitty me.It'll only remind me that i'm at my limits. yes my body and mind is crying for me to rest.I will but doesnt mean for ever. right now,I just wanna recover,go back to school and back to npcc.
This seriously sucks..my eyes are totally red and swollen.I practically look like a demon with these eyes and god the sting!!Cant help crying even though I dont want to..
Gonna see the doc..maybe he can give me a week off..not sure what to do if I have a week off though and yeah I miss school even though it sucks. I also found a pretty spiffy video.Maybe someone can read between the lines ahahaha wishing tooo much.Any who,enjoy the vid?
The click 5 - Jenny
She calls me baby, then she won't call me. Says she adores me and then ignores me. Jenny, what's the problem? She keeps her distance and sits on fences. Puts up resistance and builds defenses.
Jenny, what's the problem? You leave me hanging on the line. Every time you change your mind.
First You say you won't, then you say you will. You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on. I"m standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees. Jenny, it's killing me.
She needs her own space. She's playing mind games. Ends up at my place saying that she's changed. Jenny, what's the problem? I'm trying to read between the lines. You got me going out of my mind.
First, you say you won't, then you say you will. You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on. I'm standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees. Jenny, it's killing me. It's killing me. It's killing me. Jenny.
First, you say you won't,
then you say you will. You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on. I'm standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees. Jenny.
First, you say you won't, then you say you will. You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on. I'm standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees. Jenny. It's killing me. It's killing me. Jenny.
Drowsy,sick,alone hahaha the same old same old..any who,I just thought i'd post about these two lyrics enjoy the song
Snow Patrol - Signal fire
The perfect words never crossed my mind, 'cause there was nothing in there but you, I felt every ounce of me screaming out, But the sound was trapped deep in me, All I wanted just span right past me, While I was rooted fast to the earth, I could be stuck here for a thousand years, Without your arms to drag me out,
There you are standing right in front of me (x2) All this here falls away to leave me naked, Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety
No I wont wait forever (x2)
In the confusion and the aftermath, You are my signal fire, The only resolution and the only joy, Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes,
There you are standing right in front of me (x2) All this here falls away to leave me naked, Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,
There you are standing right in front of me (x2) All this here falls away to leave me naked, Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,
No I wont wait forever
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - By the Way
Standing in line to See the show tonight And there's a light of Heavy glow By the way I tried to say I'd be there waiting for Dani's the girl is Singing songs to me Beneath the marquee Overload
Steak knife Card shark Con job Boot cut
Skin that flick She's such a little DJ To get there quick By street but not the freeway Turn that trick To make a little leeway Beat that nic But not the way that we play
Dogtown Blood bath Rib cage Soft tal
Standing in line to See the show tonight And there's a light on Heavy glow By the way I tried to say I'd be there waiting for Dani's the girl is Singing songs to me Beneath the marquee Overload
Black jack Dope dick Pawn shop Quick pick
Kiss that dyke I know you want to hold one Not on strike But I'm about to bowl one Bite that mic I know you never stole one Girls that like A story, so I told one
Song bird Main line Cash back Hard top
Standing in line to See the show tonight And there's a light on Heavy glow By the way I tried to say I'd be there waiting for Dani's the girl is Singing songs to me Beneath the marquee Overload
nice right?haha yeah took load of pic these few days,I'd post them up one of these days when I'm so busy and you have to guess what happen these few days ok
"Have I grown weaker?Why am I here?" Thats the only questions I ask myself whenever I go to bed,wake up or stare at the mirror.My body is practically numb.God knows why..I feel as if I got punched,beaten and bruised all over.I got sudden headaches,coughs,random scars all over my hand and I cant remember how I got it.I'm sick of faking that everything's ok.
I'm sick of being the friend that everyone needs,but nobody wants..literally,who would want a friend like me..The thought at the back of your head how lonely you are and have become..
It sickens me..but yet,I'm still here.I'm still moving.ironically still breathing..I'm coping with it but I'm not saying that I like my current situation nor I hate it all. I just wish it could be better...its late..but I found a good blogskin.I'll update it as soon as possible also with Mr Jae's blogging essay...
oh yeah its been 6 months I've been heartbroken and guess what I'm already over you :)
Hey guys..sorry bout not blogging these days..been so busy..NPCC,meeting,work and if you didn't notice,reconstructing the blogskin.. no I didnt do it..the original piece is from this guy the dude is an awesome artist so are his friends..stop by and check sometime.. I do..
Anyway with alot of things happening, I cant remember or tooo tired to blog a thing..I just got back from work and I dont know why I'm still up..my ankles are puffing up..darn..the reason I'm not going back to work[theres 2 events today] is because the boss said I over worked myself and she's scared I faint..>_<".
I suppose I owe some updates..
K..I went to shooting competition with Gabriel last Sunday and we manage to enter to semi finals but got knocked out..but it was a good experience..One of the coaches said we could be like the rest[ out of 10 teams,8 are professional shooters..guess who were the other teams -_-].
on Weds and Thurs, went to PK course which made a lot of people fall asleep..couldnt thought the girls behind my seat were f 'cking noisy..I wont say which school though..yeah..Mr. Loh gave us "new licenses"[if you play FF12 you'll understand] to wear our uni.
Just now,woke up about 8 to leave to Pasir Ris...God.. the people there can give you a back ache..never mind,atleast I made some money for myself..then came back about 5 but lay around till 6 or 7 cant remember and did this blogskin..would be nice if someone commented on it =). k thats all..i need rest..I still havent done my 7 assignments..crude...nevermind..bye all
haiz..came back from camp on weds but slept from 3pm to 8 am yesterday..dont ask i just do..newayz camp was really cool..this what happened.
Day 1:
came to camp about 7 plus..by then the sec 1 arrived..God knows why they came so early when they suppose to fall in at 8.3o.Changed into full-U and waited for the camp to start.Taught them alot of drills.Then they had their breakfast and change to wet attire coz we were going dragon boating..W0ot!fun la..divided into two groups..I and Dan went to take the weaker group which in the end became the stronger group coz of us =D!!lol
Came back and had a splitting head ache and I starting to sweat and wanted to faint..but I couldnt..
Anyways had to rush because the drill and amazing race was going to start any minute..I swear the teachers thaught I was going to pass out any minute..then right before the thing started I had a shower..alone..in the D&T toilet..alone... before it started I briefed the sec 1 about the 3 rules..every instructer must tell their cadents during a night event..seems like I scared even Fong ee..lers..soon it was lights out.
2nd Day:
Early in the morning the sec 1s kena pt..but only me,yi ling,fong ee do..the rest either sleeping or sick..than I follow them run 1 half a km or more..dunno la the distance..After that was drill..was given instructions to tekan them..about 4 from my division reported sick..man I can be fierce..mustnt do that..Than when the sec 1s went rock climbing with Irfan,shao hui and dan,I and the test dtay back and learn how to make a camp fire..my back hurt cam giler digging for sand..haiz..so later it was the night walk..rather different..can sleep under the stars while waiting for our turn to be scared..rather good la..out of the 8 or 1o times i got scared once..cant be said for the sec 1 i was partnering..He was blindfolded and I wanted which ment I had to be his eye dog..!#*&%&* when my bunkmates go and shower I had to wait..easy reason..someone took my slippers to shower..So again..i had to shower alone..at the D&T block..had some supper after that and went to sleep.
3rd Day:
nothing much...woke up early to clear the campfire pit as the sec 1s had their pt in the foyer.get some logistic for telematch and bridgebuliding..Telematch was a waterbomb fight!!awesome!!!everyone was literally wet..when my two new sirs back to school after their exams..we had a good party..we threw them into a chocked sink...evil..haha..than had a briefing..went home and sleept till the next day..woah..
Today..
went to school to meet suhaimi and fatin..did our group discussion which was ratherly short..idk..newayz I and su went to prayers and fatin went to the gym for awhile as she waited for us..there met raizen,izzat,syazwan and a friends of theirs..after prayers met zul..Izzat and wan had to go home so the rest of us went to KFC and makan..haha..then we sent zan to work..kecoh seh..ordered durian puff but kept it for later..than we went to the library..and checked out my books..yeah and suhaimi is in deep shit..ahaha..then after sending fatin home I and su go back to polar to return zan his name tag which su forgot to give....zan said he was gonna have his break soon so we waited for him..ahahaha there was where the fun begins..we talk crap till his break was over..went back in bus 8 around 5...
Been busy for sec 1 camp..haiz..Today's event rather interesting..Never knew that Habourfront centre was combined with Vivo city..
Heres the story..left home about 1 plus to go to harbourfront centre which i didnt knew exsisted when i got there..Had to go there to pick up my handphone..took a MRT so it was kidna a long ride there..When I picked it up at the shop,it seemed new.They even put in a protecter for me..Woah..K so I went and merayap(go and take a walk) around and realise that Vivo was link to HarbourFront Centre..I was hungry so I decided to walk around to find a place to eat..apprently most places were completely full..God knows how but I managed to get a seat at NewYork Pizza.Cant complain but prefer canadian or pizza hut.
I'm going off to camp tommorow till weds sp I'd be off the com but I'd prefer you all mail me than sms..seriously please.kinda late so I'd better be sleeping bye.
woke up on Sunday at 7 am coz needed to meet,Ariyani,Syahrin and Natasha.Yani's dad sent us to Vivo City,to meet Mr Jae.He booked us tickets to see Pirates for Project $10..really akward to see Mr Jae not in his trainers,shorts and polo T.Yani told us he looked hot..-__-..
While waiting for the movie to come there was this transformers trailer and god damn it was awesome.but this is what I heard from a little girl.."I'm not gonna watch transformers..It stupid."trust me..if anyone born between my fathers time to mine..most of you guys know hiw awesome transformers are..Kids these days..they scare me..
Anywho the starting of the movie was awesome though I wished they could speak clearer from some parts.Excelent fight and sword scences.They also put "I'll dig out my heart for what I want"a new meaning..literally.Overall good performance..Just remember to watch part 2 before watching this..Helps alot.A phrase I remembered was "They will see us free men by the sweats from of brows,the strength from our own backs and the song that we shall sing"Seriously,I wonderful phrase.
After that we went the Banquet. Had a good lunch than go to Pacific.While walking Yani and Natasha disapeared.I told Mr Jae that we'd probably meet them at Pacific.Mr Jae said to see what we like than he paid for us..this was a Convo between me and Syahrin.
Syahrin: I'm like a virgin in the place Sabri : Dont Worry,your not the only one..
seriously,I have never ever ever once been to been to a cafe' before.instead of small,medium and large they have short,tall and grande..HF?Than Yani and Tasha came back with Mr Jae's gift..good its so small..whats with girls and small things..when its big they complain..I dont get it.
Anyway We all had a good chat about relationships,careers and knowing each other more.
Yani and syahrin had to go so left with me and Natasha..Than she felt uncomfortable so she aske me to accompany her to tampines..It was getting late anyway so we bid Mr Jae good bye as he went to OCBC..haha
theses days,my bodys getting worst though I dont show it.There would always be sudden pains in my heart..I not sure if I can carry on my lifestyle..seriously need to get medical check up..haiz but cant..Mom these days keep nagging for no reasons.Asking and argueing on stupid matter.why must go to camp all that stuff..getting..K la rather long so thats all for now =)
They will see us free men by the sweats from of brows,the strength from our own backs and the song that we shall sing
"Do you remember when you were 5 and I was 6?
